The Ogden Legion Hall is packed and ready for action after a month-long absence! It's a hot August evening, the place is already a sauna, and it's just going to get hotter as the night goes on! Because tonight, the hottest ticket in town is NEW ALBERTA PRO WRESTLING!
BILL HEWSON: Welcome fans back to Calgary after a great stop in the United States last month! But now, we're back in NAPW's home province of Alberta! I'm Bill Hewson alongside my broadcast partner Jack "Attack" Jones, and what a card we have for the fans tonight!
JACK JONES: Yeah we do, Bill Hewson! Tag titles on the line, a tag title #1 contender match, Jake Phoenix in action, and in the main event... first time ever singles match, "The Show" Chad Kurtis vs D!
BILL HEWSON: But right now, let's head to the ring for our opening match!
"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT MY BAD REPUTATION!"
FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is set for one fall at a twenty minute time limit! Introducing first from Water Valley Kentucky... LYNDSEY VALENTINE!
BILL HEWSON: The tallest women in the division, in NAPW no less. Lyndsey Valentine is as mean as her beau Matthew Kurtis, and possibly even more vicious.
JACK JONES: I think she was the true Kentucky Wildcat!
Lyndsey steps into the ring, ready for a fight. The fans boo her... then the lights dim.
ARE YOU READY TO GET FUNKADELIC?
FUNK!
SPOTLIGHT!
BIG PLATFORM BOOTS!
The Calgary crowd pops huge-style ---
FOR WHITE CHOCOLATE~!!!
FRANK WARBURTON: And her opponent, hailing from Edmonton Alberta! "WHITE CHOCOLATE" TIFFANY MACINTYRE!
BILL HEWSON: I think the funk quotient in the Polish hall just went up... 351%, daddy!
JACK JONES: OWWWWW!
Tiffany struts to the ring, floor length coast, huge platform boots, big 70s shades. WHITE CHOCOLATE~!
BILL HEWSON: The fans love to get FUNKY like the proverbial MONKEY when WHITE CHOCOLATE~ comes to town!
JACK JONES: How do you pronounce the "~"?
BILL HEWSON: Oh, just like "~".
JACK JONES: I get it, man! Outta sight!
BILL HEWSON: This groovy match with huge ramifications on the Women's Division rankings, it could determine one of the wrestlers who will compete to be the first NAPW Women's Champion in September at Lethal Lottery. Referee Morgan Smythe will be calling this one, and we're ready to go!
Smythe calls for the bell. Lyndsey towers over Tiffany and shoves her away rudely! Tiffany springs to her feet, Lyndsey charges with a (Bluegrass) Mafia kick --- ducked by Tiffany! She handsprings into the ropes, HITS, REBOUND --- TAJIRI BACK ELBOW into Lyndsey's kisser! Lynsey is stunned, Tiff grabs her... SLICED BREAD #2! Outta sight! But no cover, Tiffany is in the corner! "COME ON, SISTER! GET READY FOR WHITE CHOCOLATE~!" Lyndsey gets to her feet, turns around, AND!
RIDICULOUSLY OVERSIZED GROOVY FOUR-INCH PLATFORM BIG BOOT CONNECTS! WHITE CHOCOLATE~ covers ONE, TWO, THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your DELICIOUS winner, "WHITE CHOCOLATE~!" TIFFANY MACINTYRE!
BILL HEWSON: It's over! Tiffany Macintyre wins, she's got to be a favorite to win the Women's title, Jack Attack!
JACK JONES: It's over? I mean, it's over! Uh, go White Chocolate!
BILL HEWSON: I don't think that match went the way Lyndsey Valentine would have hoped. WHITE CHOCOLATE~ heads to the pay window with the winner's share of the purse, and a shot at the Women's title!
JACK JONES: That cheerleader is such a ...uh... stella!
BILL HEWSON: When you gotta stop acting like THE MAN, Jack Attack? Always holding the chicks down!
JACK JONES: Screw you, I hated the 70s except the leisure suits!
Tiff poses for her fans as Lyndsey takes her exit. There's only one thing left to do...
DO IT FUNKADELIC! OWWWWW!
FRANK WARBURTON: This match is set for one fall! Introducing first, from Kitchener, Ontario, weighing in at two hundred and forty pounds...
FRANK WARBURTON: KRUSTY KID PAUUUL!
He explodes right through the curtains, past the angry fans and the street team that shouts "TAKE A BATH YOU DIRTY (BLEEP)!" He laughs, insults them back before rolling into the ring.
FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent, from Ottawa, Ontario. At a weight of two-hundred-fifteen pounds. TRENT DANIELS!
The crowd blows up for this man, drowning out "Too Much, Too Young, Too Fast" with nothing but cheers and praises. He walks past the curtains, ribs still taped, walking slowly past the adoring fans. He uses the steps to get onto the apron, before going through the ropes.
Krusty starts the match off with a HUGE punch that rocks Daniels back into the ropes. He EXPLODES! off the ropes and is powerslammed immediately. By the look of Daniels' face, his ribs are in a world of hurt. Krusty goes straight for the bandages and boos are rained upon him in an instant, but he doesn't care. A forearm to the softened ribs. Krusty on his feet, sends a vicious kick to the ribs, which sends Daniels rolling across the ring. Krusty with that stalker walk, approaches the struggling Davis with a menacing glare. Daniels using the ropes as a crutch -- KRUSTY RUSHES WITH THE BOOT! DANIELS SIDE STEPS! KRUST HUNG UP ON THE ROPES! OUU! THAT'S NASTY! To add insult to injury, Daniels begins to yank the ropes up and down. Ouch. JACK JONES: Damn. Hope he didn't have any plans with any women later tonight!
Daniels backs up, returns to with a hellacious clothesline that knocks Krusty out of the ring. Trent, bad ribs and all, grabs the top rope, pulls and flies to the outside, CRASHING ONTO KRUSTY! The crowd cheers on the brave young man. Daniels, on his feet, holding his ribs, goes to work on Krusty, bringing him to his feet and rocking his face with a nice discus clothesline. Krusty stumbles up the ramp, trying to regain his balance, but he can't Trent is hot on his trail, crushing his face with rights and lefts. Krusty's had enough...SPINEBUSTER ONTO THE RAMPWAY! Trent rolls over, damned in pain. Krusty mushes his head with an arrogant boot. Krusty brings Daniels to his feet before tossing him DIRECTLY into the guard rails.
BILL HEWSON: Doesn't look too good for Daniels right now. Krusty Kid Paul is a street fighter, and they're exactly where he loves to be right now!
JACK JONES: With those ribs, nothing looks good.
Krusty, holding Daniels right over the railing, drops him rib first and Daniels lets out the most gruesome scream imaginable. Trent still manages to get up though. Krusty with a right -- BLOCKED! A left -- BLOCKED! A clothesline that gets evaded. A kick to the knee from Daniels and it drops Krusty, then a SHINNING WIZARD! Trent puts in his best effort to get into the ring before the count. Trent rolls back out to break the count. Krusty on the verge of getting up, back turned to Trent gets an ax handle directly on the spine. Trent with the whip to corner post -- IT'S REVERSED! TRENT STOPS IN TIME! Trent turns around into a rushing Krusty, luckily for him he's able to get out of this one. Unfortunately for Krusty, he goes straight into the post he was trying to avoid. Krusty stumbles off backwards into a German Suplex on the outside. Trent rolls him into the ring and goes for the first cover. Only a kick out at two. Trent onto the ropes, Krusty on his knees, Trent off the ropes with a front drop kick to Krusty's chest. Krusty on his back, and Trent for the first time, in control.
BILL HEWSON: Things looking up for Daniels as he takes control of this contest!
JACK JONES: With those ribs? There's no such thing as control, more like a false sense of hope. Keep watching.
Krusty gets up and walks right into a Wake Up Call. And the second cover of this match, almost a three, again. Trent at the ropes again. Krusty's up. Trent rushing at Krusty -- SPEAR! SPEAR! SPEAR! Krusty goes RIGHT THROUGH Trent. The cover.
ONE!
TWO!
KICK OUT!
"MAYBE IF YOU BATHED, YOU WOULDN'T SUCK!" Krusty isn't too fond of this comment from the street team. He heads outside to the them. Krusty's standing face to face with them all, swapping some unkind words. He gets SOAKED with some... dish soap?! Krusty begins to swing at the fans, nearly missing them all. He turns around, wiping the soap water out of his eyes -- WHAM! SUPER KICK! Trent collapses on the ring apron, while Krusty just falls down with his head bobbling. Trent rolls Krusty into the ring, a cover this time and another near fall. Trent's up. Krusty's up. Trent with the swing, a miss... BEHIND! BOTTLE OPENER!
BILL HEWSON: The Bottle Opener out of nowhere this could be all ONE, TWO, TH---DANIELS KICKS OUT!
JACK JONES: Now who's in control, Hewson!
Krusty whips Trent into the corner with absolute force, that rocks Trent to the mat, his ribs take most of the impact. Krusty brings Trent to his feet, wraps his arm around his neck, grabs a hold of his tights for the suplex. Trent comes down CRASHING on the mat. Krusty picks him up again with a sidewalk slam to the mat, then the hook of the leg. Only a two count, Krusty a little annoyed on this one. He locks in a bearhug on Trent, a strong hold. He begins to shake him around like a chew toy. But Trent does not want to die in this one, he screams, he battles out, he works for it. Krusty rushes to the corner with him, squashing him in the corner, then begins to follow it through a series of vicious shoulder thrusts. He backs up, and allows Trent to walk away from the corner before delivering a big boot that takes Trent out of the ring.
JACK JONES: Complete and utter control.
Krusty rolls out of the ring and Trent has a right already in stock for his jaw. They begin to duke it out, getting close to the announcer's table. Trent with an elbow to Krusty's gut gives him enough time to clean the table. He looks at Jack and Bill, "Sorry guys, gonna need this table for just a sec." They get up out of respect and Trent places Krusty onto the table, with a club to his chest, making sure he stays stationed. Trent climbs the nearby rail. LEEPS! SPLASHES RIGHT THROUGH THE TABLE! Both men are down, Trent rolls around holding his ribs. Krusty looks in better wear than Trent. Krusty on his feet before Trent rolls him into the the ring, brings him to his feet for the Krusty Bomb -- NO! TRENT REVERSES! Krusty's sitting up, TRENT OFF THE ROPES! Drop kick to the back. Trent is up, Krusty's up, CLOTHESLINE! Takes Krusty down. Krusty gets up again, TAKES A SWING! MISSES! KICK TO THE MIDSECTION! DDT! TRENT IS ON FIRE! Trent rushes to the top of the ropes!
JACK JONES: What is this?!
BILL HEWSON: '' Complete and utter control."
TRENT'S GOING GOING TO LEA -- WHAM! AND HE'S DOWN! D! with the chair shot, but the ref's back was turned the whole time. D! slithers away back down the aisle, a crazed grin on his face. The crowd begins to boo. Krusty's up. THE KRUSTY BOMB! KKP grinds his ass into Daniels' upper chest and face for the pin...
ONE!
TWO!
NOT LIKE THIS!
THREE!
JACK JONES: I told you. Complete and utter control.
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner, KRUSTY KID PAUL!
BILL HEWSON: A huge win by Krusty Kid Paul, a man who could very well be next in line for an NAPW World Title shot, but give the assist to D! Damn him! He refuses to step into the ring again with Trent Daniels, but he'll do this?
JACK JONES: Blah, blah, blah, Daniels needs to get over it! Forget him, let's talk about the winner! Krusty Kid Paul, YOUR next NAPW World Champion! Who's going to stop him?
BILL HEWSON: I'll never take away from Krusty Kid Paul's sheer guts, his ability to take tremendous pain and come back, but that doesn't mean I LIKE him. He is your winner, a tough loss for young Trent Daniels...
KKP exits as the Street Team looks pretty sad. Paul throws some middle fingers before disappearing. Daniels is slow to get up, holding the back of his head from the chair shot and Krusty Bomb. The Street Team gives him a resounding ovation, Trent pumps his fist out to them and then heads back up the aisle.
JACK JONES: ... And that's when the rash came back...
BILL HEWSON: I keep telling you I don't need to know EVERYTHING about you!
JACK JONES: You would if you wanted to be a better commentator.
BILL HEWSON: I'll survive somehow.
"Still Can't Whoop Me" takes over the speakers and the fans get up to show their appreciation for the team making it's way to the ring. Well, it's more like a lot of booing and swearing, but now we're getting technical...
FRANK WARBURTON: This is a tag team match scheduled for one fall, where the winning team gets a shot at the NAPW Tag Team Titles. Making their way to the ring, accompanied by the Zamunda Force... from the Kingdom of Zamunda, they weigh in at a total combined weight of five hundred and thirty seven pounds... PRINCE W. DARKO and KBOND!
Darko helpfully reminds the fans that nobody can whoop them. Because it looks like a few people may have forgotten. It doesn't matter, as four cellos swell up and soon the fans are on their feet for the next team.
FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponents, accompanied by Asuka Katsuragi! At a total combined weight of four hundred and fifty four pounds... The team of RAVAGER and DEZ CARTER!
Ravager and Dez don't seem to be too focused on the fans tonight, as they make their way to the ring and are immediately met by Darko and KBOND. Referee Dick Kiebiech is quick to try and separate the two teams, but the Z-Force try to make their presence felt as well, as Focks tries to smack Dez upside the head...
CRACK!
Dez snaps Focks' head back with a palm strike, and Darko tries to strike Dez from behind! Ravager drives an elbow into the gut of KBOND, then delivers a stiff headbutt causing all Hell to break loose! Focks and Deek are still in the ring, and they try to hold Ravager for KBOND, but Ravager squirms free, looks towards the ring entrance, as if waiting for someone, shakes his head, then lays into Focks and Deek with chops! Darko clubs Carter in the back of the head with a forearm, then tosses him over the top rope to the floor! KBOND has recovered from the shots he just took, and nails Ravager with a clothesline. Ravager is down, and Focks and Deek lay in with boots to the downed shooter. Kiebiech tries to get the Z-Force to leave the ring, but his shouts are not heard. Darko has followed Carter to the floor, and he tries to whip Dez into the guard rail, but Carter reverses and sends Darko over the rail and into the crowd! Meanwhile Focks and Deek drag Ravager up and whip him to the ropes! Ravager holds on! The Z-Force charges, Ravager with a low bridge sending the Z-Force to the floor! Dez is their to greet Deek with a roaring elbow, and Focks gets a boot to the gut and a DDT onto the floor! Carter slides into the ring and joins Ravager as they try to chop KBOND down to size! KBOND refuses to go down, even though the chops make a sick slap as they connect! Finally Ravager plants a stiff kick to KBOND's knee, and Carter hits the ropes, coming back with a stiff forearm shot that sends KBOND to the ropes! Ravager follows up with a clothesline and KBOND is finally taken down, as he goes over the top rope to the floor! And the fans go wild as the Zamundan delegation regroups!
JACK JONES: Has there been a bell yet?
BILL HEWSON: Not yet.
Finally Kiebiech has some order, as Carter goes to the corner, and Darko slides in to trash talk Ravager. Ravager smirks, but it is totally humorless. Darko and Ravager lock up, Darko getting the advantage with a headlock. Ravager pushes out of it, sending Darko to the ropes. Darko rebounds into Ravager, neither man goes down, but Ravager stumbles a bit. Darko hits the ropes again, and again runs into Ravager. Ravager goes down, and Darko leans over and yells "You can't whoop -"
Ravager gets a leg up and kicks Darko in the side of the head! Darko stumbles back into his corner where KBOND tags himself in. Ravager springs to his feet and immediately goes for the leg he worked on earlier. KBOND clubs Ravager across the neck, then goes for a gut wrench suplex. Ravager slides out of it, chop blocks KBOND, but fails to take him down. Ravager locks on a headlock, then starts to pepper KBOND's temple with fists. Kiebiech admonishes Ravager for this, but the Silent Assassin breaks before the count of five. KBOND doesn't look too fazed but this, and grabs Ravager for a severely mismatched lock up. KBOND hefts Ravager up and tosses him into the corner turnbuckles!
JACK JONES: And that, ladies and gentlemen, is textbook domination.
Ravager looks surprised, and is a bit more cautious as he approaches KBOND again. He feigns a lock up, but goes behind and looks like he's trying for a German Suplex. Darko laughs uproariously at this, and the fans groan at what they think is a stupid move. And it would be stupid, on it's own, but then Dez comes in and nails KBOND with a roaring elbow! Ravager uses the momentum and hefts KBOND over (though he is the worse for it)! The crowd pops huge as the big man hits the mat! Ravager looks like his back is hurt and he quickly tags out to Dez! Dez is in and he pounces on the fallen big man, not giving him the chance to get to his feet! Dez tries for a Stretch Plumb, but KBOND is not hurt enough yet. Carter instead lays in with some stiff Martial Arts kicks, that seem to stun the big man, then goes for a rear naked choke!
He cinches it in, but KBOND is too strong, as he fights out of it, then tags in Darko. Darko and Carter lock up, Carter shoots behind, going for a German Suplex. Darko grounds himself, fighting out of the waistlock, and he goes behind and goes for a suplex of his own. Dez rolls through and lands on his feet behind Darko and gets the Rear Naked choke on Darko! Darko flails as Dez tries to choke the life out of him! But Deek is on the ring apron, and Kiebiech goes to deal with him, allowing Darko to mule kick Dez wight between the uprights, breaking the hold! Ravager is in to protest, but gets cut off by Kiebiech, and the Zamundans take advantage by double teaming Carter in their corner. KBOND holds Carter as Darko lays in with chops. Kiebiech finally turns around just as KBOND lets go. Darko tosses Carter to the floor, where Deek and Focks pounce, putting the boots to him! Ravager tries to intervene, but is cut off again by Kiebiech!
BILL HEWSON: This is ridiculous! KBOND alone is bigger than Ravager and Dez, and yet Darko still needs two guys on the outside to soften his opponent up?
JACK JONES: The man's a Prince, Hewson, and should not have to waste his energy on... oh come on!
As Ravager shouts "About time you guys showed up", The Young Leons race to ringside! RAVANGER and Flippy McHighspot attack Deek and Focks, laying in with punches and kicks! the Zamundans fight back against their smaller foes, failing to notice the third member of the group...
BILL HEWSON: What the Hell does he think he's doing?
Johnny the Mormon Love Machine quickly scales the ropes, and dives onto all four men with a huge Shooting Star Press! Carter slides back into the ring where he's met by Darko and KBOND, and now Ravager is in to even the odds! Carter grabs Darko and tosses him over the top rope! He quickly follows, and the two men trade punches on the floor. The Young Leons and Z-Force are slowly making their way to their feet. McHighspot tries to hold Darko for Carter to hit, which draws KBOND to the floor! KBOND grabs McHighspot by the throat and tosses him into the ring post! Johnny and RAVANGER both jump on KBOND, but get pulled off by Deek and Focks. Darko and Carter trade punches, KBOND hits any foe who comes near him, and Ravager hits the opposite ropes comes back with a suicide dive through the ropes onto everyone!
BILL HEWSON: Looks like Ravager picked up a few things at Aerial Assault.
Everyone is down. (Well, KBOND was only knocked into the guard rail, but he's stunned). Ravager shoots Darko back into the ring, then helps Carter back up to follow him. Deek lunges at Ravager, who side steps, sending the man into the ring post. McHighspot, Johnny and RAVANGER are up, and they try to take KBOND down. In the ring, Darko has played possum long enough to catch Carter with the Laid Out! And now he locks on the Zamunda Yoke! Meanwhile, on the outside, Ravager has grabbed a chair, and he lays out Focks with it! Deek is slowly rising, but he gets smacked upside the head as well! Ravager tosses the dented chair aside and goes back to his corner to shout encouragement to Dez.
KBOND, meanwhile, has finally had enough of the Young Leons. McHighspot tries for a leg takedown, but gets kicked off, then FLATTENED with a clothesline! McHighspot does at least two rotations before he hits the ground! RAVANGER charges and gets nailed with a big boot! Before the man can hit the ground, KBOND hoists him up and lawn darts him into the ring post! Johnny on the ring apron dives off onto the big man... and gets caught... and tossed into the air... and flattened on the floor with the Zamunda drop! A huge groan as the impact is made! Z-Force and the Young Leons are all down as KBOND goes back to his corner, and stares daggers at Ravager!
Meanwhile, Darko still has the Zamunda Yoke locked in! Dez looks to be fading, but Asuka and Ravager don't stop yelling for him to fight! Carter blinks his eyes twice, then sees how close he is to the ropes. He reaches for them, but can't quite get his fingers on them. He tries to pull himself and Darko closer. he reaches out again, but still not close enough. He pulls him and Darko closer. He reaches out. Almost there... Darko breaks the hold, and drops an elbow across the back of Carter! He grabs Carter's boot with one hand, and reaches out and tags KBOND with the other. KBOND lumbers in, looking to be in a worse mood than usual. He hoists Carter up and drops him with a vertical suplex! Carter hits the mat with a thud, and KBOND covers! One.. two.. carter gets a foot on the bottom rope! Darko calls for the tag! Darko is in! He hauls Carter up, and SCOOP SLAM! Carter hits the mat, Darko smirks like he just slammed Andre the Giant, then tags back out to KBOND, much to the fans annoyance. KBOND lifts Carter off the mat and hits a belly to belly suplex! Carter lands on the mat in a thud, and KBOND goes over to him, and stomps on his chest three times!
BILL HEWSON: That is not a good sign...
Indeed, KBOND goes to the corner turnbuckles! Darko yells at him to "finish that piece of garbage", and KBOND goes for the Zamunda splash! The big man teeters on the top rope, the ring seems to strain to hold him, but he dives off to finish...
Carter moves out of the way! KBOND crashes to the mat, landing in a heap! Carter starts to crawl towards his corner, as KBOND tries to reach Darko! KBOND is closer, and he reaches out to make the tag! Darko races in, and he grabs hold of Carter's boot JUST before he can tag in Ravager! The fans groan, Asuka looks devastated, and Darko just laughs as he pulls Carter back to the Zamundan's corner. Darko lifts Carter up and slams him hard to the mat, then goes to the outside. He springboards back into the ring, hitting Just Perfection! Darko celebrates maybe a bit too long before he goes for the cover! One... two...
Ravager is in with a boot to the head! Darko is up and furious! He tries to get at Ravager, who backs away with a smirk on his face. Darko reminds Ravager that he can't whoop him, and Ravager moves forward and tries to slap the taste out of Darko's mouth, only to be stopped by Kiebiech. Darko is talking trash, Ravager has had enough of everything, and Kiebiech just wants the legal men to be in the ring. Finally Ravager goes back to his corner, and Darko turns his attention to Dez. He pulls Dez up... and sets up for the Zamunda Driver! He hoists Dez in the air... or tries, as Dez gets his leg wrapped around Darko's. Darko lays in with some clubbing forearms, and tries to hit the move again. Again Dez blocks. Darko grabs Dez by the hair and pulls his face up so he can look him in the eye and tell him to lay down-
SMACK!!
Dez with a palm strike!
SMACK!!
Dez hits another, and Darko stumbles back!
SMACK!!
Dez hits a third palm strike, completely reversing Darko...
DRAGON SUPLEX! Dez bridges for the cover! ONE!! TWO!! DARKO KICKS OUT!!! Carter didn't have quite enough to put him away, but now the adrenaline is flowing, and he lifts Darko onto his shoulder and it's time to Go 2---
KBOND in with a boot to the gut! Dez drops Darko and hits the mat! KBOND goes back to his corner as both men are down. Carter makes the slow crawl to his corner, Darko to his. Darko is almost there, Carter is mere inches away. Darko makes the tag! KBOND is in.
And so is Ravager! Ravager is in the ring in a flash and he attacks KBOND with stiff chops, KBOND shoves him into the ropes, and Ravager comes back with a stiff lariat! KBOND does not go down! Ravager with a boot to KBOND's midsection. And another. And another. And another! And another! KBOND starting to teeter. Ravager with a headbutt to KBOND's sternum, and that causes the big man to hunch over! Ravager hits the ropes and comes back with a charging headbutt! KBOND taken to one knee as Ravager staggers! He regains his senses quickly enough that he boots KBOND in the head then hits a DDT! A cover! One... two... KBOND gets a shoulder up!
Ravager tries to get the big man into position for the Garrote, but KBOND is too big, and manages to push Ravager away. Ravager pounces back with the Kata-Hajime! He can barely get the fingers clasped, but he does! He cinches in on KBOND, trying to choke the big man out! But Darko wastes no time, and breaks up the submission! Carter is in to fight with Darko, and Kiebiech has lost control again. KBOND knocks Ravager to the floor, and follows. Carter and Darko are both still weakened, but they lay into each other with European Uppercuts, neither man willing to go down. Ravager tries to whip KBOND into the ring post, but the big man won't budge, instead Ravager gets whipped into the guardrail. In the ring, Carter has gained the advantage, and he goes for one more uppercut, Darko blocks, spins Carter around three-sixty, then goes for a clothesline! Carter ducks, and Darko nails Kiebiech!
JACK JONES: Hey, the ref is down. Because this match was totally under control with him conscious.
Darko thumbs Carter in the eye and tosses him over the top rope where KBOND is waiting. He grabs Dez and bearhugs him, flailing him back and forth like a rag doll. Darko responds to the fans cheers with mockery, as he reminds the fans he can't be whooped.
Wait a second. Cheers?
JACK JONES: What's he doing here?!
Krenshov has come in through crowd! He climbs in the ring and stands behind Darko, who hasn't noticed yet. KBOND does, and he drops Dez and tries to go to help, but Ravager is back up, and he clips the leg of KBOND, and stomps away at the knee, trying to weaken the big man. Darko finally turns around to see a VERY angry Krenshov behind him. A boot to the gut from Krenshov then
TOTAL ECLIPSE!!
Darko PLANTED into the mat. Krenshov goes to check on the ref as Ravager dropkicks KBOND into the ringpost, then catches him with a DDT on the rebound! He slides into the ring and covers Darko! Kiebiech is up and has no idea what has happened! He makes the count!
ONE!!
TWO!!
THREE!!!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here are your winners... Ravager and Dez Carter!
The crowd pops huge for the win, but Ravager is intent on checking on his partner. Krenshov eyes the fallen Darko, and then gets a look in his eyes. A nasty look, to say the least. He hauls Darko up off the mat, and sets him up for a powerbomb! He hoists him in the air, and throws him into the corner turnbuckles! He follows the prince in with Multiple Corner splashes, and the fans are going nuts!
JACK JONES: This is an abomination!
BILL HEWSON: After how Prince W. Darko beat Krenshov, this is justice. Harsh justice.
Darko is limp as Krenshov goes to the outside and grabs two chairs. Carter is up and just notices Krenshov is here. He sees Darko laid out in the ring. Krenshov slides back into the ring and drops the chairs on the mat. He picks up Darko and nails him with a back breaker. he doesn't release, He just hoists him up again and hits another backbreaker. And another. And another. And another. And another.
BILL HEWSON: I'm no fan of Prince W. Darko, and yeah he seriously injured the man, but... Come on Kenny, that's enough.
Krenshov hits one more before he finally drops Darko. Then he sets the chairs up, and puts them back to back. he hoists Darko up as an uncomfortable hush comes over the crowd. Dez is in the ring and now he's saying enough is enough! Krenshov does not seem to think so, as he tells Dez not to worry about it. Dez stands in front of the chairs blocking Krenshov's way! He says the match is over and they won. It's over. Krenshov drops Darko and he grabs Dez by the throat and choke tosses him out of the way! Dez hits the mat with a thud as the crowd is stunned silent. And now Asuka and Ravager are in the ring! Krenshov goes to pick up Darko but Deek and Focks are there to pull him out. KBOND is up as well, and he helps his Prince to the locker room.
Carter is back up and he marches over to Krenshov demanding an explanation. Ravager, Asuka and the Young Leons stand between the two men, as Krenshov is furious that Dez let Darko get away. Krenshov tosses the two chairs at Dez, who ducks them and charges, only to be cut off by Ravager. Asuka tries to talk some sense into Dez as the Young Leons try to talk to Krenshov... And get tossed aside. Referees are out as well, and things finally seem to calm down, though Krenshov marches away from the ring, seething in anger. Dez is angry as well, and Ravager looks angry that his team finally gets their first win, only for their faction to seemingly implode...
BILL HEWSON: Things have broken down here! What will this mean for these three supposed allies?
"Zero" by Smashing Pumpkins hits the speakers and the crowd gets up and turns to the entrance just as "The Ego Buster" Dan Ryan comes through, intense look of annoyance on his face and stalks to the ring with a purpose. There's still a mixed response for Ryan, but the crowd is leaning to cheers more than in the past. Ryan grabs the ropes from the floor and hops up onto the apron before stepping through and making a cutting motion with his thumb across his throat. The music stops abruptly and Ryan raises a microphone.
DAN RYAN: So here's the deal. I'm not in the mood for theatricality tonight. Things lately... well, they've been pissing me off to say the least. Now this has nothing to do with exclamation point boy stealing my win but ducking me, and it has nothing to do with my loss to Trent Daniels, who fought a good match and won fair and square. And who can be angry with Trent anyway after the brilliance of flying fish and alphabet soup? For that alone I like the kid and have found myself changing my mind on him almost entirely.
Cheers!
DAN RYAN: My beef is with Donovan Astros....
Boos.
DAN RYAN: And with Terry Brandon...
A more mixed reaction.
DAN RYAN: See Donovan, it must be nice hiding behind the legalities of not being a contracted worker with NAPW. You can just waltz in and do what you want without repercussion. Meanwhile, the people affiliated with this company can't very well allow me to cave your skull in with my boot because as an actual employee with New Alberta, I would be assaulting a non-worker and would cause them to be somewhat liable for my actions. Now, I'm a businessman so I know and understand how this works.
On the other side of the coin we have Terry Brandon, in charge of the show around here somehow allowing you into the building. Now Terry, I can't think of any business operation where it would be acceptable for workers to be attacked by an outside entity in the course of doing their jobs. Ours is a unique profession for sure, and it's one where taking the occasional attack comes with the territory. Truth is, I give as well or better than I receive. But see, you've tied my hands. You've made it impossible to seek any retribution, yet have proven inadequate in preventing these attacks from occuring.
So... sadly, with the alternative being that I continue on in my career and allow Donovan Astros to continue to take potshots at my knee and eventually... likely... seriously injuring it, I must submit to you my resignation to you... so that I may rip his *BLEEP* head off.
A loud chorus, partly cheers at the prospect of Astros' head being ripped off, partly of boos and disappointment from the crowd at Ryan leaving. Neither of which last long, as Terry Brandon steps out from behind the curtain with a microphone in one hand and the other raised in a hold on position.
TERRY BRANDON: Hold on a second, Ryan, just hold on a second! Look, I agree that security has been a problem where your matches have been concerned lately.
Ryan has an expression that says obviously.
TERRY BRANDON: But Dan... I can't reinstate Donovan Astros.
DAN RYAN: Terry, it's simple really. I need Astros in the ring, or I have no choice but to move on. This isn't a threat, Brandon. This isn't some superstar ego trip. I'm talking about my career here, and I won't be stopped from taking my payback outta Donovan Astros' ass. You're a businessman too, Brandon. Why don't you listen to your own fans??
The crowd cheers loudly.
DAN RYAN: (turned to the crowd). Do you people wanna see me snap Donovan Astros in half??
Ryan holds the microphone toward the crowd who scream a loud Yes, Hell yes, etc. as Ryan stares at Brandon with eyebrows raised.
TERRY BRANDON: Look, I know what you want. I know what the people want and I know....God knows I know that Donovan Astros deserves any beating he gets. He has it coming and then some. But I can't...I won't reinstate him. That's just something I won't do.
Ryan shrugs and begins to leave.
TERRY BRANDON: But...hold on. How about this. How about something the fans might enjoy equally as much?? Didn't you say you came here to seek out every last challenge left to you? Didn't you say you wanted to test yourself against the very best before you hang em up?
Ryan pauses.
TERRY BRANDON: How about this? Next week! Dan Ryan takes on the man who made NAPW a name across the world, the first ever TEAM Champion of Champions, the three-time NAPW Champion! Next week, Dan Ryan takes on, one on one, D!!
The crowd erupts. Ryan narrows his eyes at Brandon and seems to be thinking about this proposition hard. Ryan slowly allows a smirk to color the corner of his mouth.
DAN RYAN: Brandon, you're a smart man. Thing is, I'm just not too confident in your security forces.
TERRY BRANDON: I'll double it, Ryan. I'll triple it. I'll make it work.
Ryan thinks it over and approaches Brandon, looking down at him. Finally, Ryan smiles and nods, then turns and climbs out of the ring to loud cheers as "Zero" hits back up.
JACK JONES: That was the last time the Girl Guides brought cookies by our house!
BILL HEWSON: They were just selling COOKIES, Jack, you didn't need to turn the hose on them!
JACK JONES: Hey, a solicitor is a solicitor. There are clear warning signs on my front gate!
BILL HEWSON: ... Let's go to Frank!
FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is set for one fall, and is for the NAPW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP!
Pearl Jam's "Corduroy" hits the PA, and the fans erupt in a thunderous pop as NAPW LEGENDS step through the curtain!
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first, the challengers! First, from Cairo Illinois, hs is a member of the NAPW TRIPLE-CROWN CLUB! Ladies and gentlemen, he is EVAN CARTWRIGHT! And his tag team partner, he is an NAPW GRAND SLAM WINNER... from Las Vegas Nevada, CHRIS CASINO!
The duo head to the ring as the crowd chant "WELCOME BACK, WELCOME BACK!" Hated or not, the fans love to see these two legends back. Evan is more serious on his way to the ring, but nods with a wry smile on his lips. Casino, of course, is mugging for all it's worth, eyes hidden behind designer sunglasses, the trademark smirk in place.
BILL HEWSON: We never thought we would see Chris Casino & Evan Cartwright in an NAPW ring again, but never say never in professional wrestling. Last month they defeated Mystic Exposition to rocket up the Tag Team ranks for this, a tag team title shot. Gold is never far from these mens waist, is it Jack Attack?
JACK JONES: Chris Casino and Evan Cartwright without titles is like Mama Cass without a ham sandwich, Bill Hewson. They've held the tag team titles once before, and technically, the team of Casino & Cartwright were never beaten for them. They want to improve on their prior title reigns, and they can kick off that new reign right here tonight!
BILL HEWSON: Their opponents have proven the ultimate underdogs, but against all odds, are set to defend their titles for a fifth time. No team in NAPW history has defended the Tag Team Championship five straight matches, could tonight be the night?
"Science" blasts and out walk Stein & Chris Kamikaze! Stein jerks his way to the ring as CK tries to avoid tripping.
FRANK WARBURTON: And now, the champions! The team of STEIN and CHRIS KAMIKAZE!
BILL HEWSON: There is some history here, Jack Attack.
JACK JONES: That's right, Stein beat Chris Casino for the Provincial Title in 2006. It was a fluke, but Stein won gold from Casino. Tonight, Casino rights that wrong, he's going to take gold from Stein!
BILL HEWSON: No doubt Casino & Cartwright are prepared, but how do you prepare for a team like Stein & Chris Kamikaze?
John Sharplin in charge of this match. Wait a minute! Casino and Cartwright jumping the gun, attacking their opponents from behind! The crowd pops anyways, because dammit, they're so awesome. They've got each foe in a corner, IRISH WHIPS --- Stein stops short and LAUNCHES Kamikaze over his head onto Casino! Cartwright charges Stein, takes a stiff, robotic clothesline. Evan gets up, he's by the ropes. Stein grabs Kamikaze, IRISH WHIP --- LOW BRIDGE! Kamikaze flies to the floor and lands hard, clutching his ankle upon landing. Stein advances on Evan Cartwright, but Evan just smirks and delivers...
TOASTY!
The Perfect Uppercut! Stein staggers backwards, the lithe monster doesn't go down that easily. He turns around...
SUPERKICK!
Right on the button from Casino, Stein still up! Casino grins and tells Stein to turn around. Stein slowly turns around...
CARTWRIGHT FIRES OFF THE ROPES! ROARING ELBOW! Stein staggers, Casino hooks the arms behind him! Turns it over... THE BANKRUPT! Unprettier just PLANTS Stein's head into the canvas! Evan Cartwright has ascended the top rope! Kamikaze is trying to get into the ring, Casino clips him with a baseball slide! Cartwright FLIES, SOMERSAULT LEG DROP!
Evan hooks the leg of Stein, ONE, TWO, THREE! THE CROWD GOES WILD!
BILL HEWSON: I don't --- WE HAVE NEW CHAMPIONS! Blink and you'll miss it, Chris Casino & Evan Cartwright just laid WASTE to Chris Kamikaze & Stein, and once again... Casino & Cartwright are the NAPW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!
JACK JONES: Believe it, brother! Two of the greatest of all time, Hewson, and there is no denying that!
BILL HEWSON: Absolutely not, more gold to two already impressive resumes. Let's get the official word from Frank...
FRANK WARBURTON: Here are your winners... and NEWWWWWW NAPW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... CHRIS CAAAAAASINOOOOO and EVAN CAAAAAAAARRRRTWRIGHT!
As Stein and Chris Kamikaze make their way from the ring, we can see the referee handing the NAPW Tag Team Titles to Cartwright and Casino. The crowd cheers as Cartwright wastes no time in strapping his belt around his waist as his partner drapes his belt over his left shoulder and asks for and receives a microphone.
CASINO: And so it ends just like we said! The era of mediocrity is over! All hail your NEW NAPW Tag Team Champions, Evan Cartwright and Chris Casino!!!
They receive a nice pop from the crowd. A new era indeed.
CASINO: Earlier tonight we watched the team of Ravager and his little boy toy win a chance to face us for these very belts next week. I say bring 'em on! There is no way we're going to lose to a team comprised of a has been and a never was. Ravager and Carter, bring your best. You'll damn sure need it!
Casino hands the microphone off to his partner who gets a loud pop, especially from the ladies in the crowd.
CARTWRIGHT: Easy ladies, I can only please three of you at a time!
Casino holds up three fingers and smirks.
CARTWRIGHT: Like my partner said, we welcome any and all challengers. Ravager and Carter? You couldn't even beat Mystic Exposition. How do you expect to beat a team as "perfect" as us?
Casino raises his championship belt high above his head for all to see.
CARTWRIGHT: Now if you'll excuse us, we have a victory celebration to attend to.
Cartwright drops the microphone to the mat and the new champs make their exit. The crowd loves it, daddy! This means that next week it WILL BE Chris Casino & Evan Cartwright defending the NAPW Tag Team Championship against Dez Carter and a man both Casino & Cartwright have a tremendous history with... Ravager!
-INTERMISSION-
JACK JONES: And that's when I stopped shopping for fruit, forever! Damn grapes!
BILL HEWSON: Good thing you was a former wrestler and knew how to fall, you could have been hurt.
JACK JONES: (raising and eyebrow) I broke three ribs and had my arm in a sling for two months. My lawsuit didn't stick either, apparently suing for five million dollars was excessive.
BILL HEWSON: Why that much?
JACK JONES: They didn't KNOW I was retired... I was basing that off what monies I'd lost had I been an active wrestler.
BILL HEWSON: And working for Ted Turner in the late nineties!
JACK JONES: EXACTLY!
FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is set for one fall, and has a thirty minute time limit!
JACK JONES: We have the greatest Heritage Champion ever in Stone Zellor taking on a newcomer.
BILL HEWSON: An newcomer to NAPW, a 12 year veteran of the sport. It was Masaumi Satake who defeated a masked Jake Phoenix last month, down in North Carolina. Masafumi Satake has all the makings of a bonafide future champion.
JACK JONES: Yeah if he puts on a dress and wrestles for the new Women's title!
"THE CONNECTION IS MADE!"
Elastica begins to play and out comes Stone Zellor and Lady Sparks. He has injured ribs from an attack by his enemies in North Carolina. He still is cocky as ever as he tells the fans they can "go to hell". The fans boo him as he gives them verbal pimp slaps. He wants to show the world tonight that he is still the man who came within seconds of winning the World title last year. He is still the man who is a former Heritage champion. His tag success in REBEL isn't equaling his singles success here lately, but that can all change tonight.
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first, he is accompanied by Lady Sparks. He weighs in at one hundred eighty seven pounds. He is wrestling out of Staten Island, New York. He is a former NAPW tag team champion and a TWO-TIME Heritage champion... STONE ZELLOR!
JACK JONES: That man looks ready. I don't think he is going to lose tonight. He better not... got seventy-five bucks on him!
BILL HEWSON: Again with the gambling?
"Down the Drain" by the Zero Boys and out comes Masafumi Satake. He is a long time veteran and is looking to add to his wins over Jacob Venar, Eric Thompson of REBEL, and Jake Phoenix. The fans give him a good ovation as he enters the ring. Stone looks to be less than impressed.
FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent. He weighs in at two hundred twenty pounds and is wrestling out of Matsuzaka City, Japan. He is MASAFUMI SATAKE!
BILL HEWSON: That man looks to be focused, but not as jacked up as he was versus Jacob. He is getting comfortable in front of the Canadian fans!
Morgan Smythe calls for the bell. Stone struts around, wincing a bit, as he has injured ribs. Masafumi Satake isn't one to give him any one an inch, regardless of injury. They lock up and quickly Stone is taking down with a side headlock. Satake lets go, and spins around and knees the ribs of Stone Zellor. Stone tries to crawl away, but Masafumi grabs him up. Body slam follows and some kicks to the ribs. Stone is trying to block and grabs a foot. Satake drops a knee to the ribs now. Stone has had zero offense so far. Stone gets to the ropes and Masafumi allows him to get to his feet. Stone looks angered and charges at Satake, and EATS A PICTURE PERFECT DROPKICK! Stone is rocked, and staggers back up and a deep arm drag by Satake takes Stone back to the mat, keeping on an arm lock. Stone is complaining of hair pulling, but Morgan Smythe isn't listening. Stone tries to get to his feet, and out the armlock. Stone gets to the ropes and Masafumi lets go, obeying the rules. Stone goes for a thumb to the eye, but has his hand grabbed and is nailed with IPPONZEI, an over the shoulder arm drag! Stone is down, and quickly rolls out the ring.
JACK JONES: Stone needs some air, everyone needs to stop breathing for thirty seconds, let Stone get the air.
BILL HEWSON: Satake is kicking his ass in there. Hurt ribs aside, I don't think Stone can handle him.
Stone is outside, and Morgan Smythe begins her count. Stone tells the front row to kiss his ass, he'll get back in the ring when he damn well feels like it. The crowd starts booing him very loudly. The count is up to five, and Lady Sparks gets on the apron. Satake tells her to get down, and Stone slides in the ring. He nails Satake with a shot on his knee. Stone stomps away on the knee, trying to keep the Japanese Warrior down. Stone gets Satake to his feet and PIMP SLAP! Satake has spit fly, but responds with his own shot. Stone goes down, and looks at Morgan Smythe. "HE USED A CLOSED FIST!" The crowd boos, as it's a total lie, everyone saw the slap. Morgan admonishes Satake just to be sure. Satake looks very unhappy with these underhanded tactics. Stone gets up, and Satake charges, Stone drops down, Satake drops a leg on Stone's head anyways. Stone is being out wrestled, outsmarted and out hustled! Lady Sparks starts yelling at Morgan Smythe. They are arguing in the corner, and Satake gets up, looking at them. Stone from behind with a LOW BLOW!
BILL HEWSON: That was blatant... he should be DQ'ed!
JACK JONES: What happened?
Satake is covered by Stone. ONE! TWO! Not enough. Stone doesn't seemed deterred and goes up top. Satake is still writhing in pain. DIVING TOP ROPE HEADBUTT! MISSES! Satake showed his veteran skills and got out the way. Stone is holding his head. Satake allows Stone to get up. ROARING ELBOW! Stone is knocked half way across the ring. Satake with a cover. ONE! TWO! FOOT ON THE ROPES! Stone has to be seeing stars. Satake drags Stone away from the ropes and covers again. ONE! TW- KICK OUT! Satake looks frustrated a bit. He thought he had the match won. Satake drags the current REBEL Tag champ up and OVER HEAD BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX! Satake wants to make sure Stone can't breathe and puts in some more knees to the ribs. Stone is brought up to his feet. Satake runs toward the ropes... TRIPPED BY LADY SPARKS! Morgan Smythe didn't see it. Stone exits outside, to catch his breath. Satake is super pissed and tells Morgan about Sparks. She can't do anything but tell her to not to be interfering, cause she didn't see it. Stone is getting extra time to rest on the outside, as those three argue.
JACK JONES: Satake needs to worry about Stone and not about Sparks. He isn't wrestling her!
BILL HEWSON: That right? Cause she sure does like sticking her nose into the match.
Stone is finally getting counted out, as he jaws with the fans. Satake is chopping at the bit to get at Stone. He wants Stone in the ring though, not outside, where Stone can utilize that environment. The count is getting up to seven. Stone yells into the ring "BACK HIM UP, I CAN'T GET IN." Satake backs up, to let him in and Stone rolls in, only to roll back out. The crowd boos the hell out of him for that. He tells the crowd to SHUT THE HELL UP! Lady Sparks tries to comfort Stone, who is up to seven on the count. He rolls in again and rolls back out as the crowd boos even louder. Satake has had enough of his shenanigans and breaks his strategy, going outside of the ring, after Stone. Stone gets in the ring, and Satake gets back in the ring. Stone exits out the other side of the ring, and the crowd is just hating Stone. Stone must be hurting bad to be stalling this much. Satake goes back outside, and goes after Stone, Stone stumbles a bit. He takes a fans popcorn and throws at Satake, trying to stop him. It doesn't. Stone with a drop toe hold on the charging Satake, and Satake's head bounces off the railing.
BILL HEWSON: Satake went out to get Stone, and Stone lured him into a world of hurt. How much more underhanded tactics are we going to see?
JACK JONES: Underhanded? Seems pretty smart from my vantage point!
Stone throws Masafumi Satake into the ring. Satake risked going outside because of the cowardly/smart tactics of Stone Zellor. Satake is paying for it now, as he is deep in a Rear Naked Choke, also suffering from a possible concussion. Stone doesn't let up any. He releases the hold and kicks Satake in the back of the head. Stone is looking a bit cocky now. He gets Satake up, and DISCUS CLOTHESLINE... COUNTERED INTO A TIGHT BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX! Satake is still shaky, Stone is busted up inside, and both men are trying to get up. Stone gets up after Satake, and has his back to him. ABDOMINAL STRETCH ON STONE ZELLOR! This isn't good for Stone's ribs. Stone is screaming in pain, and he is in the middle of the ring. Morgan Smythe is checking Stone Zellor. Lady Sparks slides in and grabs the foot of Satake. Satake lets up a second, and Stone hip tosses him off. Again Stone cheats his way out of a near loss.
BILL HEWSON: This is ridiculous!
JACK JONES: I know.. three dollars for a hot dog... IT'S ABSURD!
Masafumi Satake isn't happy at all. Both men rise, Stone gets hit with a cup of beer from a fan. He turns around, and Satake takes the opportunity and DIVING FACEBUSTER! Stone is out. ONE! TWO! FOOT ON THE ROPES AGAIN! Satake gets up, stays focused. Stone tries to roll out, but Satake stops him. The crowd pops big time. Satake isn't going to let Stone get away again. He drags him up, NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX! He doesn't keep the bridge though. The crowd is feeling it. They are getting behind Satake big time. He goes to pick up Stone for the Torture Rack, can it be time for the Matsuzaka Cutter? STONE EYE RAKES SATAKE. Stone is dropped and he rolls up the blinded Masafumi Satake. ONE! TWO! SATAKE KICKS OUT! The crowd goes crazy. Stone can't beat this impressive newcomer. Satake has had Stone beat several times, only to be cut short of a win. Stone and Satake lock eyes, both men are on their feet. The fans are on their feet. Stone holds his ribs, Masafumi with a possible concussion, but neither man is quitting.
JACK JONES: Satake needs to get his head checked, come back and wrestle another day.
BILL HEWSON: Both men are hurt, but it took some crooked moves to keep Stone from losing this match.
JACK JONES: You just enjoy telling lies, don't you?
Stone and Satake meet in the middle of the ring, and lock up. Stone takes a headlock, but is shot off and comes off the ropes, eating a ROARING ELBOW! Stone blocked it a bit. Satake doesn't have time to cover, as Stone gets up quick. Lady Sparks on the apron again, Morgan tells her to get off the ring. Stone Zellor does the splits and Johnny Cages Satake...! Satake goes down, the second time he has been hit there tonight. Stone picks him up as Lady Sparks drops down. A STONE'S THROW! The cover! ONE! TWO! THE CROWD POPS BIG TIME AS SATAKE KICKS OUT! It's not Stone's day, and he is realizing it. Satake gets up slowly, Stone is up too. Stone turns Satake around and boots him in the stomach, NOPE, BLOCKED. Satake has the foot of Stone. He spins Stone, COBRA CLUTCH... STONE FIGHTS IT. Stone gets out. Stone drops down, leg trips Satake. He goes for Zellorification... but Satake fights it. Lady Sparks is on the apron AGAIN! Smythe is yelling at her to get down. WAIT A MINUTE! Stone pulled something out his boot. Satake goes after Stone... PIMP SLAP! Satake is out. Stone tosses whatever he had out of the ring and covers Satake... ONE! TWO! THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of the match... STONE ZELLOR!
JACK JONES: YEAH BOY!
BILL HEWSON: Through hook and crook... Stone wins it. That was just appalling.
Satake is being helped up as Stone and Lady Sparks is celebrating on the outside. Stone has a funny look on his face and gets back in the ring. Stone with a SUPER KICK ON SATAKE. He begins beating the hell out of Masafumi Satake. What the hell?
BILL HEWSON: Someone needs to stop this.
LIGHTS GO OUT!
JACK JONES: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED... PAY THE BILL, WINCHELL!
LIGHTS COME ON.
STONE LOOKS AROUND...THE CROWD GOES CRAZY...
SPEAR...
SPEAR...
SPEAR..
BY THE CRRRRUSSSHEER!
JACK JONES: HOLY HELL... IT'S THE CRUSHER!
The first NAPW TV Champ is BACK BABY! Satake crawls his way up, with help from the ropes. Stone is out. The crowd is louder than hell. Satake doesn't understand what's going on, as the Crusher exits through the crowd. What a scene! Lady Sparks is checking on her man, who had his ribs crushed by THE CRUSHER!
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, this next contest is scheduled for one fall, and will be contested under PURE HONOR RULES!
The crowd pops for the announcement, and more with the playing of "Bad Boys". This crowd recognizes the theme to COPS, and the theme to Joey Malone, headed down the ring with a bit of trepidation.
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first, from Lloydminster, Alberta, weighing in at two-hundred and thirty-one pounds... "BAD BOY" MALONE!
BILL HEWSON: Joey Malone will be the opponent for Jake Phoenix here in this Pure Honor rules match, a sample of what's to come next week when Phoenix faces Lloyd Rees for the NAPW World title!
JACK JONES: Opponent? Get it right, Hewson - Joey Malone's the sacrificial lamb for Jake Phoenix, because the Murder City Devil ain't in a good mood!
And the crowd isn't in as good a mood either, once "Surprise! You're Dead!" by Faith No More starts up.
FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent! From Fort Lauderdale, Florida, weighing two-hundred and eighty-nine pounds... he is the NAPW Canadian Heritage champion.. "THE MURDER CITY DEVIL"... JAKE PHOENIX!
"The Murder City Devil" enters the arena to a cascade of catcalls, carrying the Heritage title in one hand and pointing to Joey Malone with the other. "You're a dead man, boy!" yells Phoenix.
JACK JONES: Phoenix means business tonight, Billy boy!
Referee Morgan Smythe calls both Phoenix and Malone to center ring, and is explaining the Pure Honor rules - three rope breaks allowed, closed fists are illegal. Malone nods his head in understanding, while Phoenix just shakes his head. Morgan clasps her hands together to indicate the two should shake hands... and Phoenix actually extends his hand, smiling! The crowd is telling Malone not to trust the Heritage champion... but slowly, he reaches his hand out and grasps Phoenix's hand.
Phoenix doesn't let go, and pulls Malone in for a clothesline that nearly takes the Bad Boy out of his boots!
JACK JONES: Aaaand we're off!
BILL HEWSON: Jake Phoenix cannot be trusted, and Malone just learned that!
Phoenix kicks Malone in the ribs toward the corner, and Malone pulls himself up in the ropes.. just to take a back elbow from the Murder City Devil, and another one. A third one. Phoenix measures him.. and waylays into Malone's face with a big ol' soupbone to the mouth! Smythe is right in there to issue a warning, but Phoenix brushes her aside, and lands another one, sending Malone to his rear into the corner.
And Smythe just signaled to Warburton.
FRANK WARBURTON: Jake Phoenix... has been penalized one rope break for using a closed fist!
BILL HEWSON: Jake Phoenix forgot the main point of the Pure Honor rules - wrestling only, no closed fists! He was warned and then threw another fist just like that!
JACK JONES: C'mon, it's his first time, give him some slack!
BILL HEWSON: Morgan Smythe won't give him any of that, and Phoenix better watch it!
Smythe is in Phoenix's face about the closed fists, and Phoenix is actually trying to tell her it was an open hand! But as Phoenix argues, Malone's on him from behind with a dropkick that staggers Phoenix! Malone leaps on Phoenix's back and locks in a sleeperhold! Phoenix is reaching back for his head to pull him over but Malone cinches it in, he's really got it on! Phoenix isn't going down and he's walking to get his balance back... he's got the top rope, and he's up to his feet... and SLAMS Malone into the corner to break the hold!
However, he just used a rope break.
FRANK WARBURTON: Jake Phoenix has used his SECOND rope break!
JACK JONES: HE WAS GETTING HIS BALANCE!
BILL HEWSON: Phoenix grabbed the top rope, and that's a rope break! Phoenix is down to one!
JACK JONES: Come on! You can't trust a woman in stripes! I learned that the hard way!
BILL HEWSON: Yo-wait, WHAT?
JACK JONES: Never mind, it was a long time ago.
Phoenix is shaking his head as he picks Malone up and HEAVES him out of the corner to center ring... but the elbowdrop misses! Malone's up, and a fistdrop! Malone covers!
ONE!
TWO!
And a BIG kickout by Phoenix. Both men up.. Phoenix with a clothesline but it's ducked, and Malone off the ropes, cross body CAUGHT. Phoenix shakes his head and laughs.. then throws him over his head into the buckles! Phoenix drags Malone out of the corner and covers!
ONE!
TWO!
TH-Phoenix PULLS HIM UP! Smythe is yelling at Phoenix but he's paying her no heed. He's pulled Malone up by the hair and he's actually holding him up right next to Smythe... he holds up two fingers... and DRILLS Malone right in the nose with a right hand! Phoenix holds up another finger as Smythe shakes her head and motions to Warburton again.
FRANK WARBURTON: Jake Phoenix has been penalized one rope break for using a closed fist, and has now used his THIRD and FINAL rope break!
BILL HEWSON: Phoenix is on the verge of disqualification here thanks to that blatant closed fist!
JACK JONES: But I think it was worth it, Malone's nose is busted like a melon!
Malone is indeed bleeding from the nose, which is possibly broken from the gloved fist of Jake Phoenix. Phoenix yells "Now we have some fun!" as he picks Malone up again.. he's got him by the throat... up... and DOWN with a thunderous chokeslam! Phoenix covers him!
ONE!
TWO!
Phoenix picks him up AGAIN!
BILL HEWSON: Come ON! Phoenix can win this at any time but he's just torturing Joey Malone!
JACK JONES: A little beatdown's good for you!
Phoenix picks Malone up again and shoves him into the corner.. Malone would go down but his arms hooked the top rope. Phoenix draws back with a fist, and Smythe is telling him that's a disqualification if he throws it!
*WHACK*
The crowd winces, as Phoenix opened his hand and just SLAMMED his open hand across the chest of Malone with a LOUD open-handed chop! Malone yells in pain and grabs his chest, which now has a five-fingered imprint of the Murder City Devil's hand on it! Phoenix picks him up again...
*WHACK*
ANOTHER chop to the chest! Smythe finally backs Phoenix off....and BARELY gets out of the way as Phoenix charges in with a clothesline in the corner! Phoenix backs off and raises his hands...
...as the crowd cheers, and it's not for Phoenix!
BILL HEWSON: IT'S LLOYD REES! OUT OF THE CROWD! AND HE'S AT RINGSIDE!
JACK JONES: What's he doing here?!
BILL HEWSON: The champion of the world is at ringside and he's yelling at Phoenix, he's had enough of this!
Lloyd Rees is pointing at Phoenix, he's got the NAPW World title belt in his hand, and Phoenix is leaning over the ropes yelling right back! The crowd wants to see them go at it as Smythe is trying to hold Phoenix back unsuccessfully!
Behind Phoenix, Joey Malone's stirred and he's pointed at Phoenix.
He charges... and Phoenix heard him coming, as he spins and in one fluid motion, knocks Malone's block off with a looping right hand!
Right in front of the referee. Smythe calls for the bell as Phoenix stands, fist cocked... as he just realized what happened.
FRANK WARBURTON: Referee Morgan Smythe has penalized Jake Phoenix a rope break for using a closed fist... however, Phoenix has used up all of his rope breaks! Therefore, the winner of this bout, as a result of a disqualification........... "BAD BOY" JOEY MALONE!
The crowd goes NUTS.
JACK JONES: No. F'n. WAY.
BILL HEWSON: Joey Malone has beaten Jake Phoenix. JOEY MALONE HAS BEATEN JAKE PHOENIX!
JACK JONES: Because of that jerk Lloyd Rees! He suckered Phoenix into this!
BILL HEWSON: Rees said Phoenix couldn't control his temper, and he was right! Phoenix has lost this match, and if it goes this way next week, Phoenix can kiss his shot at the World title goodbye!
Smythe has rolled Malone out of the ring before Phoenix can get to Malone to exact some revenge, but the winner is stumbling out of here as fast as his legs can carry him, and just faster than Phoenix! Rees rolls into the ring, and the crowd's going banana for him. Phoenix has turned back toward the ring, but the gang of security is right there to keep him away from the ring! The crowd wants to see them fight but they'll have to wait!
JACK JONES: Phoenix is angry and he's gonna get his revenge on Rees next week!
BILL HEWSON: NEXT WEEK! PHOENIX! REES! THE NAPW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP ON THE LINE!
Phoenix has finally pointed and screamed his last, as The Black Keys cues up from the PA. Rees hits the corners to mug for the fans, holding the NAPW World Championship belt high. Calgary gives a huge ovation to the CHAMP!
BILL HEWSON: Next week this tremendous rivalry comes to a conclusion --- Jake Phoenix! "LDK" Lloyd Rees! One more time with the World Championship on the line. It's for all the marbles and it will be next week in Edmonton! Don't miss --- wait a minute! Somebody just jumped into the ring from the crowd! Turn around, champ, turn around!
JACK JONES: Is that --- no way!
BILL HEWSON: Oh my God, it's SEBASTIEN MARTYR! Rees doesn't know he's behind him! TURN AROUND --- OH MY GOD! DARK DAZE! DARK DAZE! Sebastien Martyr has returned to NAPW, he's attacked the World Champion! But to what end ---
JACK JONES: Hewson, look what he's holding up! I think I know what he's doing!
BILL HEWSON: You've got be kidding, he can't!
Long black hair. Scruffy beard. Gothic attire. A black "TOOL" t-shirt. The fans recognize the sadistic Sebastien Martyr, showering him boos as Rees has been taken down with Martyr's version of the RKO. Referee John Sharplin is in the ring with a look of confusion...
And Martyr hands him a ring.
Sharplin looks uncertain, but then nods his head saying "alright." He leans through the ropes to ring announcer Frank Warburton as Martyr yells "COME ON!," clenching his hands in and out with a fierce look of manic urgency on his face.
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen... Sebastien Martyr is CASHING IN HIS BATTLEBOWL TITLE SHOT! Therefore, scheduled for ONE FALL, this match is an NAPW WORLD TITLE MATCH! The challenger, SEBASTIEN MARTYR! The champion... "LDK" LLOYD REES.
BILL HEWSON: NO! This can't be happening! Not like this --- we haven't even seen Martyr in almost one year!
JACK JONES: And the Battlebowl title shot has a ONE YEAR cash-in limit! And right now, Martyr is CASHING IT IN!
BILL HEWSON: Rees was nailed from that devastating Dark Daze! He's trying to get up, but --- there's the bell! OH MY GOD! Martyr with a kick to the gut, he's got the arms! And --- NO NO NO! THE SACRIFICE! THE SACRIFICE!
JACK JONES: Nobody kicks out of the Sacrifice! We've got a new champion!
BILL HEWSON: Martyr covers! ONE! TWO! NOT LIKE THIS ---THHHHHHHHHNOOOOO! HE KICKED OUT! HE KICKED OUT!
JACK JONES: That's impossible! Count properly, Sharplin!
BILL HEWSON: A count of 2.9, but somehow the World Champion was able to kick out! Martyr is beside himself!
Martyr is holding three fingers up and screaming in John Sharplin's face, but Sharplin reiterates that Rees got out in the last possible split-second even after The Sacrifice AKA the Angel's Wing. Martyr looks out at the cheering crowd and spits angrily down. Rees has rolled over, the victim of two devastating moves... but Martyr is still up, still ready to do this. He grabs Rees again, hooking the arms up, over, REES SWEEPS THE LEGS! He cinches up, and suddenly the WILD NEWFIE is in his eyes! CATAPULT! Martyr hits his head right on the top turnbuckle. Rees shakes the cobwebs loose and roars, bringing the crowd to their feet! Martyr stumbles out from the corner backwards --- CAUGHT!
DDT FROM THE GREEN! ONE, TWO, KICK-OUT ---
CONCEPTION BAY CHINLOCK!
BILL HEWSON: RIGHT INTO THE CHINLOCK! Rees wasting no time, he's got Martyr cinched! Grapevine!
JACK JONES: Come on Martyr, make the ropes!
BILL HEWSON: HE'S TAPPING! SEBASTIAN MARTYR IS OUT, REES WINS! CONCEPTION BAY CLAIMS ANOTHER VICTIM!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner, and STILL NAPW WORLD CHAMPION --- "LDK" LLOYD REES!
Rees wrenching back as the crowd erupts! Martyr is OUT, but Rees is making sure he feels it. Sharplin tells Rees to let go... finally he does. Rees knocks the unconscious Martyr out of the ring, giving the deposed Doctor of Desecration one final disgusted glance before looking out to the crowd. "Next week, Phoenix bye, ya be feelin' da same dame ting!" He holds the belt high once again!
BILL HEWSON: Sebastien Martyr has returned... and he just got tapped out by the CHAMPION! What a shocking turn of events, but Lloyd Rees claims another victim to the Conception Bay Chinlock. Phoenix vs Rees, one more time next week... wow, Jack Attack! Just wow!
JACK JONES: It won't be that easy against Jake Phoenix next week!
THE CHAMP!
"NOTE TO SELF, DON'T CHANGE FOR ANYONE
NOTE TO SELF, DON'T DIE!"
Ryan Adams blares. The crowd veritably pulsates with hatred for the man who steps through the curtain, sneering his own utter hatred for the crowd with a glint in his eyes.
FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is the MAIN EVENT of the evening! Introducing first, from Edmonton Alberta, he weighs in at two-hundred and thirteen pounds... This! Is! D!
D! takes the time to go around ringside, insulting the fans and leering at them with all disdain. He spies one fan with a "D! AIN'T THE SHOW!" sign. Snarling, he yanks it away and rips it up right before him. He takes the ring and hits a corner, posing in all his arrogant glory.
BILL HEWSON: This man... truly believes he is bigger than NAPW.
The music fades. The crowd looks to the curtain expectantly.
"Guess who's back?"
Kick it up. Guitar lick. Wait for it...
I said WAIT FOR IT...
"THEY SAY I'M COCKY! AND I SAY WHAT?
IT AIN'T BRAGGING MOTHER*BLEEP* IF YA BACK IT UP!"
And the crowd blows their tops for the hooded man who strides purposely through the curtains, radiating charisma. He flips the hood back with a snap, holds his arms out to his sides and starts slapping hands on his way to ringside.
FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent! Hailing from Paducah Kentucky, he weighs in at two-hundred and thirty pounds... he is "THE SHOW" CHAD KURTIS!
BILL HEWSON: As popular as D! once was in New Alberta Pro Wrestling, in "The Show" Chad Kurtis --- D! may have finally met his equal!
JACK JONES: I don't get what these idiots see in The Show! The stupid southern accent, all his nicknames --- Last "Action" Hero? Come on --- and I mean, Kid Rock for entrance music? Bah!
BILL HEWSON: If the fans shared YOUR taste in wrestlers, we'd be out of business in three days. This is the first ever singles meeting between D! and "The Show" Chad Kurtis, and it promises to be a hell of a bout!
The crowd breaks out in a spontaneous "SHOW! SHOW! SHOW!" chant as D! scowls. Of course, there is a certain group of fans on one side of the ring attempting to get D!'s attention. In fact, three fans standing up right at ringside, wearing bandanas over their faces and hoodies... and also wearing shirts...
Reading "E!", "F!", and "G!". D!'s eyes bug open and his lip quivers, but he tries to put them out of his mind. Referee Dick Kiebiech calls for the bell!
D! and "The Show" Chad Kurtis circle, lock-up --- D! keeps circling. "This guy doesn't have me, this is over!" Lock-up... D! catches The Show with an arm-drag.
And promptly rolls out of the ring celebrating. "Who's the best wrestler, that's right, you're looking at him! Innovative! Action!" The Show is back to his feet in the ring, looking out at D! with a shake of his head as Kiebiech has the ten-count going. D! takes the time to trash-talk to the fans, expressing his greatness compared to "The Show." "Hey D!, are we going to wrestle or what?" D! rolls back into the ring...
And right out the other corner to a chorus of boos. D! whoos and raises his arms, stopping in front of the street team with a leering smirk. "That's wrestling, kids! Take notes for your little *mentor*!" Kiebiech's count is up to five again, and finally D! gets in. He grabs the microphone.
D!: Chad, peanut, now that we know that I am the BETTER WRESTLER than you, I'm going to give you a chance! Just this one chance to leave the ring right now, walk back up that aisle and out the building. Out of the goodness of my heart, I'll give you this one chance to spare yourself the embarrasment of being outwrestled by the superior wrestler --- and that's me if you're not following closely --- and take off right now!
The crowd boos D!, who grins magnaminously as he hands the microphone to the referee. D! holds the ropes open for Chad and motions for him to leave. Chad grabs the microphone from Kiebiech.
THE SHOW: So let me get this straight. You're giving me this chance to avoid embarassment, I can just leave right now? Sidestep getting outwrestled, just give it up to you?
D! nods enthusiastically as The Show inches closer to the ropes.
THE SHOW: Well D!, that's a mighty generous offer.
Show plants a leg through the ropes. Stops. Looks right at D!. The crowd can't believe it.
THE SHOW: But I'll be cotton-picked if I accept for a chump like you! Enough talk, let's WRESTLE!
YEAHHHHHHHHH! D! almost pouts as The Show is back in the corner. D! gets out of the ropes, snarls, and we have another circle. Tie-up --- D! hip tosses The Show! The Show quickly to his feet, and ---
D! slides back out of the ring celebrating like he just won the Superbowl. "Who's this 'Innovator of Offense', anyways? You see that move! Innovated right there! I'm so much better than this guy, seriously!" Kiebiech tells D! to get back in the ring, and starts his count again. D! makes a point of getting in the face of the Street Team before getting back in. The Show says "Can we do this already?" Circle, Tie-up... D! with a bodyslam!
Annnnnnnd he gets out of the ring AGAIN as the crowd is totally sick of his actions. D! climbs the guardrail and takes a seat hastily vacated by a fan. "Oh hell, I could do this all day! What do you think, who's the better wrestler? I know I am!" The Show looks at Kiebiech with a look of total disgust. The referee shrugs and continues his ten-count. D! puts his feet up on the guardrail, apparently taking the time to relax, before darting in at eight. "I got this in the bag, people! You might as well leave now!"
The Show and D! circle, lock-up... The Show with an arm drag! D! looks shocked, gets up... HIP TOSS! D! gets up, holding his back, turns around... and The Show sends him down with a loud-sounding bodyslam! The crowd roars as The Show just gave back to D! everything he did to him, only in about twenty seconds. D! gets up and pulls back to the corner, wobbly, and he gets followed in by The Show! Chad climbs up to the second turnbuckle and begins delivering punches to the head of D!! The crowd counts along gleefully! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN! Chad drops back to the canvas, breaking from the corner. D! staggers out with one finger in the air and promptly Flair-flops to the canvas! The Show hits the corner in his trademark pose to a roaring ovation. He drops down as D! is struggling to his feet, grabs his man, and lights him up with a chop to the chest! D! winces and falls back into a corner. Show comes in, then lifts D!'s t-shirt up, exposing a pasty white chest.
CHOP!
D!'s eyes go wide and he staggers out of the corner, trying to get the heck AWAY from anything related to the Innovator of Offense. He turns around and gets clotheslined out of his boots! D! sits up in a daze as The Show hits the ropes and delivers a running senton splash that flattens the man! COVER! ONE! TWO! D! kicks out. The Show picks him up, snap suplex! Floatover cover, one, two again. The Show picks D! up and puts him in the corner, throwing a few stiff shots. Irish whip sends D! thudding into the opposite corner. Show yells and charges D! sidesteps! The Show crashes shoulder-first into the turnbuckle! D! takes a second to get his head together as The Show grits his teeth, holding that left shoulder... and D! kicks him right in it! The Show down to one knee, gets up, D! unleashes another vicious kick to the shoulder! Another! The Show is down, holding the shoulder as D! stomps on it ruthlessly! Kiebiech tries to get a break as D! is holding the top rope for leverage while he does it. D! gives Kiebiech the stink-eye, then kicks a hands-and-knees Chad in the gut HARD, sending the fan flipping over. D! likes what he sees and makes a cover, The Show kicking out at two.
JACK JONES: D! smells blood in the water, Bill Hewson!
BILL HEWSON: The Show was riding a wave of momentum, but D! has capitalized on his one mistake. Oh come on, get off the man's throat! D! blatantly choking out The Show, right in front of the referee!
D! gets off the choke before five, flashing a smirk to get at the audience. He picks up "The Show" in a scoop and... oh no. Puts the man in the TREE OF WOE. The Show is helpless, hanging upside down in the corner. D! stomps on him, targetting the left shoulder still, Show unable to defend himself. D! gets some distance, and delivers a tremendous basement dropkick right to the face of The Show! Chad's arms dangle down as he struggles to retain consciousness. D! unceremoniously unhooks The Show and covers the carcas. ONE! TWO! Kick-out by The Show! D! grabs the arm and drives a knee into the shoulder joint, trying to wear that down.
BILL HEWSON: Ordinarily we see D! work the leg in preparation for his Pleasant Cycling hold, but D! is nothing if not opportunistic.
JACK JONES: Hey, you bring a gameplan to the ring, but sometimes the wrestling gods give you a new direction!
BILL HEWSON: The... wrestling gods?
JACK JONES: Yeah! You know, Suplexitor, Lariato, and BRAINBUSTAAAAAAH.
Ooooooookay. The Show tries to fight to his feet, but D! snapmares him over. And kicks him in the back! THUD. D! hits the ropes and launches another basement dropkick into the seated Show, making a point of connecting with the shoulder. CROSS ARM-BREAKER! D! HAS THE SHOW IN A WORLD OF HURT! The Show yells out in pain as the crowd stands on their feet, begging him not to tap out! The pain has to be excruciating! The Show raises a hand up, will he tap? He clenches his open hand into a fist, trying to fight! D! wrenches back for all he's worth as The Show tries to inch his way towards the ropes with his free limbs. He reaches out, just brushes the ropes with his finger tips! D! YANKS the arm, almost trying to tear it out at the stump! The Show lets out another bellow of pain, but then, with one heroic effort, grabs the bottom rope! Kiebiech calls for the break one, two, three, four, D! lets go before he gets disqualified. He gets in Kiebiech's face, then stomps The Show on the shoulder. "Who's your hero now?!" D! picks The Show up, irish whip, Show reverses and NAILS the Reverse STO! He covers! ONE! TWO! KICK-OUT! Big move by The Show right there, he could be turning it around! D! has retreated to a corner, Chad comes in --- eye gouge by D!. Chad winces in pain, turning, as D! pops to the 2nd turnbuckle and comes off with a bulldog! He covers ONE, TWO, THKICK-OUT!
D! gets up and this time argues with Dick Kiebiech about the count. He turns around and gives Chad a big righthand. Chad stumbles into the corner and D! climbs up arrogantly, delivering his own ten-punches. ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! BOOOOOOOO! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! WAIT! The Show has his hands underneath D!'s thighs, D! suddenly looking panicked --- POWERBOMB out of the corner from The Show! Both men are down! Referee Kiebiech has no choice but to begin a standing ten-count as both men are laid out.
The crowd begins to clap, trying to rally The Show. Clap.
Clap.
CLAP.
CLAP.
The rhythm begins to pick up as Kiebiech hits six, but D! pulls himself to a knee with the ropes. Chad is turning over, trying to get it, both men are up. D! comes in with a right hand, blocked, Chad connects! D! fires again, BLOCKED, D! doesn't block Chad's punch! Another! Another! Chad lighting up D! with right hands! Chad with a beautiful standing leap into a FRANKENSTEINER! D! is down, and The Show has him in perfect position for the ---
BEST!
MOONSAULT!
EVER!
COVER!
ONE!
TWO!
THNOOOOO!
The Show can't believe it, but Kiebiech assures him the count was only two. Crowd thought that was it! Chad picks D! up and boots him in the gut to double him over. CK FINALE COMING UP? No, D! shoves him off! Chad comes in, D! attempts to wrap behind, he's got the SLEEPER, NYQUIL SPIKE --- Chad gets behind the man! GERMAN SUPLEX --- NO! LOW BLOW! D! swept his leg back, just out of the referee's sight. Kiebiech questions him, but D! pleads innocence. The Street Team gives him the loudest boos as D! makes a lazy cover, one, two, The Show gets out. D! says "IT'S OVER" and whips Chad to the ropes, SPINEBUSTER connects! That's it!
ONE!
TWO!
TH---NOOO!
Now it's D!'s turn to not believe it, and he yells at Kiebiech with ferocity. "Where did you learn to count, Dick, Sesame Street --- FOR RETARDS?" D! SHOVES the referee --- KIEBIECH shoves D! right back! D!'s eyes goggle in shock at the referee standing up to him, but he turns around to focus on The Show. He waits for the man to get up, holding his right fist cocked for the knock-out punch! He swings --- The Show ducks! RIGHT BEHIND D! GERMAN SUPLEX! DUMPED RIGHT ON D!'S HEAD! THE SHOW COVERS!
ONE!
TWO!
THREEEEEENO!
BILL HEWSON: Another near-fall! The Show and D! are hitting each other with their best moves, but neither man has been able to get the three!
JACK JONES: There's no way The Show gets the three on D!, Hewson! All it's going to take is one Nyquil Spike!
BILL HEWSON: If it connects, that move is a match-ender --- but so is The Show's CK Finale, and we have yet to see that connect either!
With D! laid out, The Show goes to the outside... and delivers the Prime Time Splash using the top rope as a springboard. No cover, though, he gets up and roars to the people, who respond in kind! It's time for the CK FINALE! D! gets up, Chad comes in, D! goes to the eyes. Chad again temporarily blinded, but LASHES OUT WITH THE SUPERKICK
D! PULLS KIEBIECH IN THE WAY!
DICK IS DOWN!
D! sweeps around for the Nyquil Spike again, but Chad gets to the side and lifts D! up... DELIVERING THE STARMAKER! CHAD COVERS!
... but there's no referee. The crowd counts one, two, three, but that doesn't mean a thing! Chad slaps the mat three times in frustration, then spies Kiebiech through his clearing vision, the referee laying in a heap on the canvas. Chad gets up and tries to revive Dick, shaking him. Where's Josh Reynolds to eat a superkick when you need him?
BILL HEWSON: Chad Kurtis has this match won, but D!... damn him! Pulled the referee right into the line of fire!
JACK JONES: Hey, The Show should watch where he's aiming that thing!
BILL HEWSON: The Show trying to wake the referee up, and --- oh wait a minute, D! just rolled out of the ring, what's he doing... oh come on! He just grabbed a steel chair! This is totally out of line!
The Show is still trying to revive Kiebiech, he doesn't realize what D!'s done! D! gets in, holding the chair, motioning COME ON with a wild eyed, teeth-gritted expression. He looks crazy! D!'s going to wallop Chad as soon as he turns around! NOT LIKE THIS --- WAIT A MINUTE! "F!" has leapt the guardrail? Wait a minute! The hood slips down, it's TRENT DANIELS! Daniels was at ringside this whole match! He reaches over the top rope and grabs the chair! D! holds on and turns around, eyes widening in pure RAGE as he realizes who it is! D! manages to yank the chair back from Daniels, SWING --- Daniels drops down, the chair hits the top rope and REBOUNDS TO HIT D! IN THE FACE! D! drops the chair but stays up, swaying on wide-legs! Daniels grabs the chair out, and then THE SHOW kicks D! in the gut, bends him over, and...
CK FINALE!!!
The Show hooks a leg as Kiebiech pulls himself over to make a count despite the pain! He's awake! THE COVER!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is YOUR winner... "THE SHOW" CHAD KURTIS!
BILL HEWSON: D! gets payback for what he did earlier in the night as Trent Daniels proves the equalizer, and a HUGE win for "The Show" Chad Kurtis here tonight! This crowd is on their feet!
JACK JONES: I can't believe it!
BILL HEWSON: Believe it! What a night we have just witnessed! We have new tag team champions! The fire between Lloyd Rees and Jake Phoenix has been stoked even hotter! And "The Show" just beat an NAPW legend! For Jack Attack Jones, this is Bill Hewson saying GOOD NIGHT!
D! rolls out of the ring, crawling up the aisle. His eyes are half-glazed, half-wild. "Daniels...fish...DANIELS...STREET...TEAM...GAHHHhhhhAhhaaaahhhh..." But the crowd isn't focused on that! Chad Kurtis hits the corners, raising his arms high in victory and exultation! The fans are going nuts as we fade to black!
CREDITS:
Tiff/Lyndsey - Ryan
Daniels/KKP - JP
Rav&Dez/Darko&KBond - Allan
Dan Ryan promo - Brunk
Tag Title Match - Ryan
Satake/Stone - Bo
Malone/Jake - Sweetser
Rees/Martyr - Ryan
Show/D! - Ryan