In 1939, The Showbox at The Market at 1st and Pike in downtown Seattle was first opened. Throughout it's history, it has seen fads and trends and styles come and go, surviving the ups and downs of the turbulent twentieth-century while playing host to acts like Duke Ellington to Muddy Waters to Iggy Pop to The Police to Pearl Jam.
Tonight, history is once again made at The Showbox... because NAPW IS IN TOWN!
Hundreds of rowdy wrestling fans have packed into the joint, nestled just a block from the world famous Pike Market. The ring is set up in the middle of the dancefloor, the stage set up to be an entrance with a big curtain stretched across it and short stairs leading down. It's dark, lots of black, funky lights, one awesome set-up for a wrestling gig. The bartenders are doing steady business to anybody NOT possessing an X on their wrists. This is damn punk rock wrestling tonight! And in the spirit, Frank Warburton takes to the ring not in his usuall three-piece suit, but in an old t-shirt and blue jeans.
FRANK WARBURTON: SEATTLE! ARE YOU READY FOR EN! EH! PEE! DOUBLEYOU!
OH YEAH THEY ARE!
BILL HEWSON: These fans are damn right ready! It's been about a year since NAPW was in Seattle, they're hungry for the best pro wrestling in the Pacific Northwest! I'm Bill Hewson alongside Jack "Attack" Jones, and what a night this is going to be! We've never been in a venue like The Showbox and the atmosphere is electric!
JACK JONES: I once saw Magic Fern here in the sixties! At least, I think it was Magic Fern. I was doing a lot of acid at the time.
BILL HEWSON: I figured you rode out the sixties ranting about long-haired hippie freaks while selling vacuum cleaners.
JACK JONES: Hey! I was Coastal Wrestling Federation champion ... well, in the 70s. Wait a minute. I was EIGHT in 1962. Well, I was doing a lot of acid in the 70s, too!
BILL HEWSON: Whatever the case may be, these fans can't wait any longer for action, so let's give it to them! Take it away Frank!
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, our first match is scheduled for one fall and is for the NAPW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, at a combined weight of four hundred and fifty pounds. Being accompanied by the New And Improved Citizens Against Bad Stuff. JEREMY DAINES AND ENRIQUE RODRIGUEZ. THE NATION OF INNOVATION!
"Kings And Queens" begins to play as Jeremy and Enrique make their way out from the back. Followed by TONY, his Mom, Alan The Janitor and Barb, the group of them are being booed mercilessly.
BILL HEWSON: After screwing Joey Malone out of a victory last week it would appear that all cracks in the Nation of Innovation have healed.
JACK JONES: Cracks? That was all a show to lull their opponents into a false sense of security before pow! They take the tag titles from those misfits!
BILL HEWSON: We'll find out in a few minutes. But here come the champs!
"Last Call" by Tora Tora Tora begins playing.
FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponents. At a combined weight of three hundred and eighty four pounds. They are the reigning and defending NAPW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! STEIN AND CHRIS KAMIKAZE!
The tag champs spring into action. Well, Kamikaze springs. Stein stiffly walks behind him, awkwardly interacting with his many, many fans.
JACK JONES: Oh, they're going to get what's coming to them, Hewson. I can feel it!
BILL HEWSON: Lets remember that Chris Kamikaze and Stein have three official defenses under their belt. If they win here tonight they equal the record held by the New And Improved D-X and The DOOMriders.
JACK JONES: IF they win. that's a huge 'if', Hewson.
By now Daines and Stein have exited the ring, leaving their respective partners as the legal men as the bell sounds to start this match. Daines motions for the tie-up, which is accepted by CK - but the crafty Rodriguez immediately ducks behind with a hammerlock. No, it's reversed! Enrique swings with a back elbow. Missed. And the champ spins his opponent around before connecting with a boot to the gut. He hastily runs against the ropes. SWINGING DDT--no, CK trips--but brings Rodriguez down with a face buster!
Not wanting to push his luck in the ring, Kamikaze heads to his corner, making the tag out to his partner. The crowd cheer as Stein steps in through the ropes. Enrique Rodriguez has gotten back to a vertical base, and he connects with a dropkick! But Stein doesn't budge. Enrique pops back to his feet as he hits another dropkick - but, again, Stein doesn't budge. Rodriguez stands up once more, only to get knocked down by a Stein throat chop!
Rodriguez is rolling around, gasping for air as he scrambles towards the ropes. he uses them to pull himself up before charging at Stein - FLAPJACK! And Rodriguez lands face first! He pops back to his feet as Stein grabs him and lifts the Austin native up high with a gorilla press slam before dropping him to one side! And now Stein heads to the corner to make the tag - here comes CK! SPRINGBOARD LEG DROP - CONNECTS! And Kamikaze hooks the leg--only getting a two count, though. Rodriguez is dragged back to his feet --EYE RAKE BY ENRIQUE! CK staggers back a step as Anthony Uruburu admonishes Rodriguez, but the Texan ignores the referee, instead continuing his assault with a hard punch. Rodriguez backs his opponent against the ropes as he makes the tag out to Jeremy Daines, who quickly enters the ring. The Nation of Innovation do a bit of double teaming as they sends Kamikaze across the ring with an Irish whip - right into a double back body drop!
Daines drops a knee across the chest of CK, trying to keep him grounded before he applies the sharpshooter--NO! CK kicks his opponent away! He jumps back to his feet - STIFF LARIAT BY DAINES! And he goes for the cover on the now prone Chris Kamikaze, getting a two-count. To his credit, Jeremy Daines doesn't complain to the official about a low-count, instead choosing to drag CK back to his feet again. He ducks around the back of Kamikaze, landing a few forearm shots to the kidneys area that push CK towards the ropes. Daines grabs his opponent with a rear waist lock - but CK fires off a back elbow! And another! Jeremy's grip is loosening, and it's broken as Kamikaze lands a third elbow! Daines stumbles backwards - so he doesn't spot Rodriguez hangman CK on the top rope!
BILL HEWSON: Blatant cheating by Enrique Rodriguez! The official looks away for a second...
JACK JONES: That's what makes The nation of Innovation so good. They take those chances.
Kamikaze is staggered by the hangman, and he walk walks straight into the waiting arms of Jeremy Daines. GERMAN SUPLEX! And the arms are still clasped as he drags CK back to his feet. GERMAN SUPLEX! A second one connects, and the hands are still clasped around the waist of the tag champion as Daines lifts him once more. And hits a third German suplex! He doesn't go for the cover, though, because Rodriguez has his arm outstretched. Tag made by the Nation of Innovation. Enrique ascends to the top turnbuckle straight away, and he leaps with a SOMERSAULT LEG DROP! Oh, he nailed it! Hook of the leg as he goes for the cover.
ONE!
TWO!
THRNOOOO! CK gets the shoulder up!
BILL HEWSON: Great resiliency by Chris Kamikaze in kicking out of that pin.
JACK JONES: And yet you don't compliment the move. Come on, Hewson, call the action fairly.
BILL HEWSON: Sure...
Rodriguez has his opponent by a handful of hair, dragging Kamikaze across the ring as he tags Daines back in. Another double team moment as the Nation whip CK against the ropes - DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE BY KAMIKAZE! Out of nowhere! Both Daines and Rodriguez are down, at least momentarily as the tag champ starts to crawl towards his corner. Stein has his arm out, ready to make the tag - but Daines is stirring. He gets to his feet, quickly followed by Rodriguez -- but KAMIKAZE TAGS IN STEIN! Rodriguez charges, only to get taken down by a clothesline! Daines tries his luck - but he gets nailed by a body slam! Stein goes against the ropes. Leg drop to Daines!
BILL HEWSON: Stein cleaning house here!
The crowd are on their feet as Stein regains his vertical base, but Rodriguez is up as well. He charges at the tag champ. No! Stein grabs him by the throat and promptly hits a choke toss, before Enrique rolls to the outside. But, Daines is up. He runs at his opponent, going for the lariat - DUCKED! But Uruburu gets clobbered by the lariat!
JACK JONES: Wrong place, wrong time...
But the action continues as Stein nails Jeremy Daines with a throat chop, sending the challenger down to the mat...
BILL HEWSON: No, Enrique Rodriguez is in the ring with a chair! Kamikaze is in no position to help his partner...
JACK JONES: Yes!
RODRIGUEZ WITH A VICIOUS CHAIR SHOT TO STEIN'S SKULL! And the champion falls to the mat.
Daines is back on his feet, and he saw everything. And, boy, is he PISSED! Horrified, TONY's Mom 'rolls' into the ring and 'rushes' towards the downed Stein, cradling him in her arms as the member of the Nation argue between themselves. "I thought we put this behind us!" says Daines before his Rodriguez replies bluntly with "I want the titles!"...
BILL HEWSON: Wait, Chris Kamikaze is on his feet. And he's heading up top!
Indeed he is, but TONY has spotted him and the annoying little man is on the apron. He pushes Kamikaze, but CK falls towards the ring, taking Daines and Rodriguez down with a modified shoulder tackle!
BILL HEWSON: Top rope move connects!
Rodriguez rolls to the outside, leaving his partner down on the mat as Stein sits up in the center of the ring. Kamikaze scrambles towards the corner again as his partner stands up before freeing himself from the helping hands of TONY's Mom. With a hint of emotion on his face, Stein...
JACK JONES: Did Stein just blow TONY's Mom a kiss?
BILL HEWSON: I believe so.
Some of the fans (mainly the female fans) "aww" at the sight of Stein blowing a kiss towards his paramour, but the rest of them are caught up in the action as CK is on the top rope. He's unsteady on his feet - but Stein shakes the rope - AND CK FLIES! TYPE 99! The official awakens in time to see Kamikaze hook the leg!
ONE!
Rodriguez on the outside ... doesn't move.
TWO!
THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of this match and STIL NAPW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! STEIN AND CHRIS KAMIKAZE!
BILL HEWSON: Can you believe it? The improbable tag title run of Stein & Chris Kamikaze continues as the champions retain here tonight in Seattle! Could this be the feel-good story of the year?
JACK JONES: I think I feel ill.
Stein & CK grab their tag titles, Stein mechnically raising his high to "play to the fans." Kamikaze almost trips getting out of the ring, but the next thing you know, the odd couple is heading up the aisle, slapping hands in victory.
BILL HEWSON: Chris Kamikaze and Stein are now joining the ranks of The New & Improved D-X and Jake Phoenix & Tommy Deathrow as this reign continues, that's their fourth successful defense ---
JACK JONES: Forget about those goofs, Hewson, look in the ring.
BILL HEWSON: Jeremy Daines is finally getting to his feet, and Enrique Rodriguez... why doesn't he help him up?
Rodriguez looks down at Daines with an unreadable expression. Finally, Daines is to his feet. TONY comes in to support him. Jeremy shoves him away, flashing an expression of utter fury towards Rodriguez. TONY's Mom, Alan and Barb watch on the outside as Daines begins to unload a verbal tirade on Rodriguez.
"Where were you? Why didn't you make the save? You see this? This is ALL your fault! You tried to use that hardcore garbage even after all I told you! I CHEATED for you but there was only so far I would go! When will you learn? WHEN WILL YOU FIGURE IT OUT? You're like a four-year old who continues to stick his finger in the light socket even after he's been shocked! You never learn! It's YOUR fault we're not the tag team champions! You've let down the CABS, you've let down the Nation, you've let down ME! And ---"
The crowd is booing the hell out of this. But Enrique Rodriguez simply hangs his head, submitting to the chastising. Captiulating to the haranguing. Who could handle this kind of chewing out?
BILL HEWSON: Geez, this is just... awful. Jeremy Daines is like some demented cult leader!
JACK JONES: He just has grand plans, and Enrique cost them the tag titles when he went for that chair. It's his own fault.
BILL HEWSON: Yeah, but this kind of verbal abuse, nobody deserves this.
Satisfied with Enrique's apologetic pose, Daines turns to the CABS. "We're leaving! NOW!" Jeremy turns around...
He's stopped by a hand on his arm. Daines turns his head slowly, in anger.
AND ENRIQUE POPS HIM RIGHT IN THE KISSER! Daines goes flying backwards and rolls out of the ring! The crowd is rising in volume as Enrique hits a baseball slide into Daines' kisser. Both men outside now, and Rodriguez... what's this? He slams Jeremy Daines onto the timekeeper's table! TONY tries to stop him, POP! Gets knocked down! Rodriguez goes to the top rope... NO WAY! NO WAY!
450 SPLASH FROM THE TOP TO DAINES THROUGH THE TABLE ON THE FLOOR!
The crowd chants "HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT"... and the chant then turns into "ENRIQUE! ENRIQUE! ENRIQUE!" Rodriguez flashes a grin and then takes a walk up the curtain. "Consider this my resignation!"
One by one, the members of the CABS leave him behind. TONY's Mom helps her son to the back. Alan the Janitor shakes his head in disgust, then calls Barb to leave with him. He pushes his mop bucket, Barb follows behind in a daze.
Jeremy Daines lays in the wreckage of not just the table, but his entire dream of Censorship Against Bad Stuff.
JACK JONES: ...and you'd never know it wasn't real! I tell you, nothing like looking in a mirror and seeing a perfectly matched set.
BILL HEWSON: I wasn't aware they utilized prosthetic nipples in this day and age.
JACK JONES: Neither was I, but boy am I thrilled.
BILL HEWSON: Dare I ask how you LOST the nipple in the first place?
JACK JONES: Well, it all started when I went to Sunday Brunch with my mother...
BILL HEWSON: Never mind!
Hewson is spared thanks to... Hilary Duff? What? The crowd boos at this pop-princess playing at a macho manly rugged wrestling event. A guy in a red martial arts uniform steps out through the curtain with an arrogant look on his face. He looks so smug and the crowd instantly gives him heat. That, and for his entrance music.
FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Truth or Consequences New Mexico... he weighs in at one-hundred and eighty pounds! Ladies and gentlemen, TDG! - THAT DAMN GUY!
BILL HEWSON: One of two debuting competitors here tonight in Seattle. TDG! sure seems to have...uh... unique taste.
JACK JONES: The fans don't appreciate it.
BILL HEWSON: I wonder if his opponent will...
His opponent? Who could that be?
Oh.
Four cellos begin to play.
They build, swell, crescendo...
And then the guitar kicks in.
...
PATH.
FRANK WARBURTON: And HIS OPPONENT! From Brooklyn New York, weighing in at two-hundred and ten pounds... THE LAST RESORT, THE WHITE COLLAR ASSASSIN, HE! IS! RRRRRRRRRRAVAGERRRRRR!
NAPW's favorite gun-for-hire, the legendary World Champion, stalks through the curtain. As ever, his square jaw is set, his face expressionless... he is simply here to beat somebody up. He stalks to the ring and enters, no-nonsense, no flash. Referee John Sharplin calls the bell.
DING DING DING.
BILL HEWSON: A tremendous challenge for the NAPW newcomer from New Mexico, and we seem to have a stand-off in the middle of the ring. Is That Damn Guy trying to trash-talk Ravager?
JACK JONES: Oog... that's never a good idea!
BILL HEWSON: TDG! running his mouth OH MY! Ravager with a HUGE headbutt knocks TDG! right down! Another one DOWN goes that damn guy! He gets up one more time... oh my gosh, did you HEAR that chop?
JACK JONES: I don't think Ravager is impressed by the Duffster! Yow!
Ravager sets TDG! in the corner and moves his arm away, the newcomer looking like hell already from those first few blows. CHOP. Ravager looks ANNOYED. CHOP. CHOP. TDG! stumbles out, holding a chest blistering red, only to be roughly hauled up by Ravager ANOTHER STIFF HEADBUTT. You can hear the sickening "conk" of their heads connecting. TDG! must be seeing stars as he gets up... Ravager off the ROPES LARIATOOOOOOOOO! TDG! flipped inside out! Somehow he struggles to his feet RAVAGER FROM BEHIND! HANDS LINKED ---
LAST RESORT!
ONE! TWO! TH---
Ravager gets up? Sharplin says "What are you doing," but Ravager just looks out to the crowd with the barest hint of a smirk on his face. "Do you want to see some MORE?"
OH YEAH.
He picks up the out-on-his feet TDG!, yelling "COME ON. GET UP. GET UP." TDG! then gets whipped HARD into the corner. Ravager follows up with a DESTROYING corner clothesline. TDG! wants to fall down, but he doesn't get the chance, as Ravager picks him up and perches him on the top rope! He climbs after him. The crowd, as one, rises to their feet, because they're going to see...
BRAAAAAINNNNBUSTAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
BILL HEWSON: INSTANT KARMA! This one was over a minute ago, and now it's... TDG! is dead!
JACK JONES: Why isn't Ravager covering him? Oh no, not more punishment!
BILL HEWSON: Ravager going to the top rope! He wants to end this with an AERIAL ASSAULT, Jack Jones! And here it comes... DIVING HEADBUTT! Ravager covers, one, two, three, no kidding this over! That Damn Guy... is that damn lamb after the slaughter!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner by pinfall... RAVAGER!
The crowd gives Ravager a tremendous ovation. His recent losses still weigh heavily on his mind, but for tonight Ravager was able to remind the fans just how dangerous he can be. What will the combined NAPW and REBEL rosters get from Ravager on July 28th and 29th in Raleigh, when REBEL Pro presents the 16-man AERIAL ASSAULT tournament?
"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT MY BAD REPUTATION!"
"Bad Reputation" begins to play as the fans let out a chorus of boos.
FRANK WARBURTON: This match is a womens contest set for one fall. Coming to the ring at this time, from Water Valley Kentucky... LYNDSEY VALENTINE!
The imposing form of Lyndsey Valentine appears at the top of the entrance ramp. She smirks out at the booing fans before power walking to the ring.
BILL HEWSON: Out of all the women in NAPW Lyndsey is without a doubt the most menacing.
JACK JONES: I know men who are afraid to fight her. This girl is very tough and I think Asuka Katsuragi might have bitten off more than she can chew.
"FIGHTING EVIL BY MOONLIIIIIIGHT!"
"Bad Reputation" fades out and is replaced by the metal version of "Sailor Moon Theme."
FRANK WARBURTON: Her opponent, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania... ASUKA KATSURAGI!
The half-Japanese, half-German redhead runs down the ramp slapping hands with the chering fans. She reaches the ring and leaps inside before turning to face her opponent.
The two women stand across the ring from each other eyes locked on one another. The smaller Asuka is bouncing on the balls of her feet attempting to further loosen up for the contest. Lyndsey stands stock still, arrogantly bending her neck down, making fun of the height difference. Asuka takes offense to this and charges forward only to be stopped by John Sharplin! "The bell didn't ring yet. Stay in your corner!"
BILL HEWSON: Lyndsey is trying to goad Asuka by playing on her famous temper.
JACK JONES: Look at the height difference Hewson. Valentine is a damn monster. Asuka looks like a little fly ready for the swatter.
Finally Sharplin calls for the bell and Asuka takes off like a rocket laying into Lyndsey with two rapid fire forearms. Valentine brushes off the assault and lands a forearm of her own. The force of the shot kills Asuka's momentum as she is shoved backwards. Lyndsey stalks her opponent and Asuka finds herself pressed against the buckle. Valentine brings her hand back and violently smacks Katsuragi's chest with a blistering chop.
BILL HEWSON: What a brutal chop by Lyndsey Valentine!
JACK JONES: A few more of those and Asuka might be knocked out.
Asuka shudders from the shot but quickly recovers and blocks a second chop, firing back with one of her own! Katsuragi with a boot to the gut that Valentine once again shrugs off. Asuka is angered that none of her shots have affected the larger women and hits the ropes... Coming back with a dropkick to the face! Finally Lyndsey stumbles back and Asuka grabs her arm taking Valentine to the mat with a quick arm drag. Valentine is back up and very agitated she grabs ahold of the smaller girl and throws her hard into the buckle. Running in, Lyndsey prepares for a big boot but meets only a kick to the chest courtesy of a quick-thinking Asuka. Katsuragi plants Lyndsey with a DDT and rushes to the ropes. She ascends to the middle rope, gaining her bearings and leaps off crashing down on Valentine with a beautifull missile dropkick! She covers but Sharplin only reaches a one count before Lyndsey wrenches up causing Asuka to fly off of her.
BILL HEWSON: Asuka has done a good job using his quickness to subdue Lyndsey but how long can she keep it up?
JACK JONES: She'll have to tire soon.
Asuka hits the ropes and attempts a Yakuza Kick on the rising Valentine but Lyndsey is able to dogde the move. She punches Katsuragi hard in the face and lifts her up, dropping the Japanese girl with a vicious powerslam.
JACK JONES: Told you it wouldn't last for long.
Both women are up and Lyndsey knees Asuka in the ribs. She grabs her arm roughly and perpells her to the ropes with a strong Irish Whip. Katsuragi rebounds and Valentine smacks her with a flying clothesline. Before Asuka can hit the mat, Valentine grabs her head and drops her with a bulldog. She covers but only gets a two.
BILL HEWSON: Nice combination of moves by Lyndsey.
JACK JONES: She's more than just a car fixing tough girl Hewson. Lyndsey can go!
Asuka tries to rise but Valentine begins to stomp away all over her body. The fans begin to boo as Lyndsey's boot continues to batter Katsuragi. Lyndsey stops her assault only to turn around and flip off the jeering fans. She turns back to Asuka and yanks her up by the hair... Punching her square in the jaw! "You want to boo me?", she yells out at the fans. "Then boo this!"
BILL HEWSON: What's she got planned?
JACK JONES: Whatever it is, I can't wait to see it.
Whatever Lyndsey had planned is put on hold as Asuka begins to fight back with a variety of stiff kicks to the leg. One shot in particular catches Valentine hard on the kneecap. Her leg buckles but amazingly she doesn't go down. Lyndsey slams an uppercut into Asuka's jaw, snapping her head back and causing her teeth to slam together. With Katsuragi momentarily stunned, Lyndsey lifts her up and grins at the fans before driving her face first into the ropes! Asuka screams out in pain but her cries are silenced as Lyndsey slams her head into the buckle. John Sharplin eventually pulls her off after four hard head smashes.
BILL HEWSON: Lyndsey is just being a bully here. She doesn't care what happens to her opponent as long as she gets the win.
JACK JONES: Why should she care? It's wrestling Bill. You are here to win, not shake hands and smile.
Asuka drops hard to the mat and we can see some blood from a nasty gash on her forehead. Valentine smirks and drives her boot into the exposed cut on Katsuragi's face. The fans jeer loudly but Valentine ignores their yells and comments.
She brings Asuka up and is surprised as the fiery redhead headbutts her hard in the face! The fans cheer as Asuka begins to fire off a few low kicks once again attacking the legs. She sends Lyndsey into the ropes and YAKUZA KICK! She grabs Valentine in a facelock and lifts her up, trying for the Dragon suplex! But she doesn't have the strength and Valentine is able to wriggle free. She grabs Asuka's foot only to be nailed with an enzuguri. Katsuragi slowly goes to the ropes and starts to climb. Wiping blood from her eyes, she makes it to the top rope. Lyndsey has recoverd from the kick and spins towards the ropes. Asuka dives off and hooks her legs around Valentine's head trying for a ranna... Valentine blocks and powerbombs Asuka into the buckles!
BILL HEWSON: MY GOODNESS, RIGHT INTO THE TURNBUCKLE! Look at the sheer power of Lyndsey Valentine. She may have broken Asuka in half!
JACK JONES: Maybe Asuka will think twice before trying to fly again.
Valentine signals for the end and powers up Asuka looking for her Bloody Valentine finisher... Somehow Asuka manages to slide free. Valentine turns... GEDO CLUTCH! Sharplin is there!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner by pinfall, ASUKA KATSURAGI!
The fans erupt as Asuka slides out of the ring and makes her way up the ramp, holding her head but raising an arm in celebration. A very angry Lyndsey Valentine glares daggers to her retreating form.
BILL HEWSON: Asuka picks up the win here in Seattle, and the women's competition continues to heat up in NAPW! What a great match!
JACK JONES: They're not Divas, Hewson. Though they ARE ---
BILL HEWSON: Whatever you were going to say, just... don't. Hell of a fight from Lyndsey Valentine, but your winner, Asuka Katsuragi!
The crowd turns toward the entrance.. and then in greater numbers, as they've noticed something happening... a big six-nine something.
BILL HEWSON: What's he doing out here?!
JACK JONES: You know why he's here!
And indeed they should, as it's "The Murder City Devil" Jake Phoenix, steel chair in hand. And he is not in a good mood, not in a mood to slap hands, not in a mood to do anything but go to the ring. He walks around the ringside area and yanks the microphone away from Frank Warburton, then walks up the steps and steps over the ropes into the ring.
JAKE PHOENIX: BRANDON! You've had a week to make up your mind, bitch! Now get your ass out here before I do somethin' you ain't gonna live to regret!
The crowd turns toward the entrance.
Nothing.
BILL HEWSON: Terry Brandon said he'd have an answer for Phoenix regarding the controversy over the World title, and--
JACK JONES: And time's up! C'mon, Brandon!
JAKE PHOENIX: I'M SICK AND *BLEEP*IN' TIRED OF WAITING, BRANDON! GET OUT HERE, *NOW!*
The crowd turns back toward the entrance...
....as "When The Lights Go Out" by The Black Keys hits the airwaves of the Showbox.
The crowd goes BANANA, as the NAPW World heavyweight champion Lloyd Rees saunters into the aisle!
JACK JONES: He's not Terry Brandon! Brandon's fatter!
BILL HEWSON: No, but that's the champion of the world! And he's coming to the ring! Phoenix and Rees in the same ring, one more time!
Lloyd Rees walks out from behind the curtain to another round of cheers. Rees has the NAPW Title strapped around his waist. Rees makes his way to the ring to confront "The Murder City Devil", slides in, and grabs the microphone right out of the hands of the NAPW Heritage Champion.
LLOYD REES: Listen up Jake and listen good! I'm sick and tired of listen'n to ya run'n yer mouth off about how ya got screwed at "The 150th Show"! Everyone, include'n me, knows d'hat da ref made a mistake d'hat night. Ya had yer foot under da ropes when I made ya tap! But Jake, ya know dame well if ya really wanted a shot at da NAPW Title all ya had t'do was ask! I'm a pretty easy man t'find! I don't hide from anyone, certainly a punk ass bitch like yerself!
JACK JONES: He.. WHAT?!
BILL HEWSON: Rees has laid the law down to Phoenix, and Jake Phoenix is NOT happy! We're gonna have a fight right here!
Phoenix and Rees are nose to nose, and Phoenix has removed his Oakley shades. This is go time.
VOICE: STOP!
Both Phoenix and LDK turn toward the entrance... where NAPW Commissioner Terry Brandon is standing, with his own microphone in hand. He's the picture of calm, as opposed to the champion and contender in the ring.
TERRY BRANDON: Lloyd Rees, I'm glad you're out here because this will affect you as well! Jake Phoenix, NAPW has reviewed the tapes of your match with the champion, and they've come to a decision - they agree with you! You DID have your foot under the ropes and the referee missed it, and the match should have continued!
JACK JONES: That's a bunch of.. WHAT?! They AGREE?!
BILL HEWSON: Why are you that shocked?
JACK JONES: Because this is Terry Brandon! He never does the right thing!
TERRY BRANDON: The referee's decision is final.. but what I can do to make things right is give you a rematch! August 26th, it will be, once again, "The Technical Terror", "LDK" Lloyd Rees defending the NAPW World title against "The Murder City Devil" Jake Phoenix!
The crowd cheers! Phoenix snarls and grins, if that's possible. He points a finger right at Rees, who slaps it away.
TERRY BRANDON: HOWEVER... however, we're going to make sure that the same problem doesn't happen again! We will make sure that a mere rope break won't cause this problem again.. because the match will not just be a World title match.. it will be contested under PURE HONOR RULES!
The crowd erupts.
Rees is a bit confused, but accepting of the decision with just a shrug.
Jake Phoenix... is unhappy.
JAKE PHOENIX: *WHAT?!*
Phoenix rips the microphone out of Rees' hands and is staring right at Brandon from the ring.
JAKE PHOENIX: WHO THE *BLEEP* DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! WHAT THE *BLEEP* DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?! YOU SCREWED ME *AGAIN*, AND I'M GONNA MAKE SURE IT'S THE *LAST* *BLEEP*IN' TIME!
Phoenix throws the microphone back.. and leaves the ring. He's going after Terry Brandon, who's still in the aisle!
BILL HEWSON: STOP HIM!
JACK JONES: No, let him go! Let's have some damn frontier justice around here!
Security has gotten between Phoenix and Brandon, but he's slowly making his way through them!
LLOYD REES: Blah, blah, BLAH!
Back inside the ring, Rees has picked the microphone back up, and he's pointing right at Phoenix, who's turned back toward him.
LLOYD REES: Phoenix, don't ya ever get sick of hear'n yerself cry! If ya actually think yer da baddest motherf**ker in both REBEL and NAPW it shouldn't matter what type of match we're in but, d'hat is not da fact is it Phoenix. We've all seen in da past when it comes t'Phoenix versus "LDK", "The Murder City Devil" seems to be lack'n! Ya know deep down inside d'hat yer not da baddest motherf**ker around d'ese parts. In fact, yer exactly da opposite! Ya know what Seattle, da six-foot-nine, two hundred and eighty-nine pound "Devil" d'hat stands in front of me is nothing more d'han a f**k'n pussy!
That's right.
Rees called him a PUSSY.
Phoenix is almost shocked by Rees... but not that shocked, as he's sliding back into the ring! Rees gets him coming in with rights, and Phoenix fires back with his own! Rees ducks a shot and delivers some more to the Murder City Devil's head.. but Phoenix kneelifts him!
BILL HEWSON: We're getting a preview of August 26th! Rees and Phoenix, Phoenix and Rees, going at it!
Phoenix sends Rees into the corner, but Rees moves out of the way of a charge and he dives at Phoenix! Security's finally sliding into the ring and getting between them.. and even with these two going at it the numbers are too much, and much to the crowd's chagrin, Phoenix and LDK are finally separated.
August 26th.
The Murder City Devil versus The Technical Terror. One more time, for the NAPW championship of the world.
Pure Honor Rules.
JACK JONES: And that's why I love Swiss babes. Neutrality is HOT.
BILL HEWSON: You never cease to disturb me.
"Corduroy" by Pearl Jam hits the speakers, and the fans pop for the returning legends! Sure, they're dicks, but the GOOD kind.
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, this is a tag team match scheduled for one fall. Currently making their way to the ring, at a total combined weight of four hundred and forty two and one quarter pounds: CHRIS CASINO and EVAN CATWRIGHT!!
Neither man has much use for the fans. They are more interested on their opponents...
"WHEN IT'S TIME TO PARTY WE WILL PARTY HARD!"
FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponents! They weigh in at four hundred and forty pounds: MYSTIC NINJA! EXPOSITIONER! They are MYSTIC EXPOSITION!!
The fans pop huge for the number one contenders to the tag titles. Referee Dick Kiebiech makes sure there is no funny business before the bell, and it looks like Casino and Expositioner will start things off. Kiebiech calls for the bell, and the two men lock up. Casino gets a side headlock, Expositioner pushes him off into the ropes. Casino bounces off and goes for a clothesline, but Expositioner ducks. Casino hits the opposite ropes and comes back with a spin kick, taking Expositioner down! He goes for a quick cover, but Expo kicks out right away. Casino drops an elbow, Expositioner moves, and he drops an elbow of his own! He hoists Casino up and goes for the X-Plex, but Casino lands on his feet and gets a roll up... Expositioner rolls through, nails a boot to the gut, straight jackets Casino's arms then hits the X-Plex! He goes for a cover! ONE! TWO! Casino gets a shoulder up.
Expositioner goes for a headlock, Casino powers his way to his feet, and puches Expositioner to the ropes. Expositioner breaks the hold, and Casino nails him with a standing dropkick! Expositioner held up by the ropes as Casino lays in with a couple of stiff chops. Expositioner whipped to the turnbuckles. Casino follows him in with a clothesline. Expositioner staggers out of the corner. Casino with a superkick! Expositioner ducks, kicks Casino in the gut, and goes for the X-Planation! Casino lands on the mat in a heap, and Expositioner tags in Mystic Ninja, who springboards into the ring and onto Casino! Casino rolls out of the way, and manages to tag in Cartwright. Cartwright has a look of ill intent on his face, and Ninja looks like he's somewhat awestruck by the man in front of him. Ninja goes for a lock up, but Cartwright launches in with a series of forearm shots. Ninja is surprised, trying to fire back with chops, but Cartwright brushes them off and hits a TOASTY Uppercut!
BILL HEWSON: Mystic Ninja trying to trade strikes with Evan Cartwright. That's never a good idea!
Cartwright tries to lock on a Fujiwara armbar, but Ninja grabs the bottom rope, forcing a break. Ninja springs to his feet, and goes for a Kabuki Kick, but Cartwright side steps it, and scores a Japanese Armdrag! Ninja back to his feet, and hits a dropkick, sending Cartwright to the ropes. Ninja follows up with a cross body... Cartwright ducks, and Ninja sails over the top rope to the floor!
JACK JONES: Mystic Ninja is at least half a step off tonight. Not a good thing when you're up against TWO former NAPW champions. And it's a terrible thing when you're up against two of the most ruthless men in NAPW history.
Ninja crawls towards the ring as Expositioner shouts encouragement. Cartwright tags in Casino, who waits for Ninja to get to his feet, then dives onto him with a plancha! Casino is first to his feet, and gives a smug smile for the fans at ringside. Expositioner is beside himself, yelling at Ninja to crawl to the corner. Casino lays in with some boots to the head of the fallen Ninja, then rolls him back into the ring. Casino goes to the top rope, and lands on Ninja with an elbow drop! he hooks the leg! ONE! TWO! Expositioner with the save! Cartwright slips behind Expositioner and nails the Sambo Suplex! Expositioner lands hard on the mat, and the momentum takes him out of the ring. Ninja is fighting to his feet, laying punches to Casino's midsection, but Cartrwright knocks him silly with a roaring elbow! Casino grabs Ninja before he falls down and hooks the arms for BANKRUPT! Ninja plowed into the mat, and Cartwright puts the exclamation point on it with a somersault legdrop! Casino with a cover as Cartwright hits a baseball slide on Expositioner!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here are your winners: Chris Casino and Evan Cartwright!
BILL HEWSON: Mystic Exposition never really got going tonight. Mystic Ninja seemed to be in awe of the men he was facing, and it cost his team dearly.
JACK JONES: Yeah, it cost them their number one contender's spot!
Indeed, the scowl on Expositioner's face says it all. He helps Ninja out of the ring. But instead of celebrating, a pissed off Chris Casino stalks over to the ropes, asks for and receives a microphone and strides towards the nearest camera.
CASINO: That's it? That's the best NAPW has to offer these days? Me and Cartwright didn't pass up lucrative dates in Japan so that we could come here and smack down clowns and ninjas. We came to remind people of what REAL superstars look like! What REAL superstars act like! When We said we'd assault Mystic, we damn well did it. Now.....
Casino tosses a look over at a grinning Cartwright.
CASINO: Stein and Chris Kamikaze... We want, no want is the wrong word, we DEMAND the NAPW World Tag Titles. I'm going to say this slowly so that even you two dicks can understand it. Hell, go get some crayons and some paper and write it down if it helps! August 19th. Calgary. Evan Cartwright and Chris Casino will face the WGA for the NAPW World Tag Team Championship!
The fans eat it up. Sure Casino is an ass but at least he gets things done.
CASINO: You either hand those belts over, or we take 'em from your broken lifeless hands. Either way, you're looking at the new dawn of tag team greatness!
Casino tosses the microphone to the mat and along with Cartwright leaves the ring. It's on baby!
"I want everybody in this room to know, YOU CAN'T WHOOP ME!"
AKForty echoes through the Showbox as Prince W. Darko along with KBOND and the Z-Force make their way to the ring much to the dislike of the crowd. Darko is just soaking it up, mouthing off all the way to the ring.
FRANK WARBURTON: The following NO HOLDS BARRED match is set for one fall! Introducing first accompanied by KBOND and the ZAMUNDA FORCE, he weighs in at two-hundred and twenty-seven pounds. From The Kingdom of Zamunda, he is PRINCE W. DARKO!
Prince Darko leans over the ropes and starts jawing with the crowd until he is interrupted by...
"AND I AM FINALLY FREE!"
30 Seconds To Mars blasts as Krenshov makes his way to the ring... escorted by Ravager and Dez Carter! The crowd is going crazy!
FRANK WARBURTON: And his oppenent, weighing in at three-hundred and fifty pounds! From Middletown, New Jersey... he is KRENSHOV!
JACK JONES: What are Ravager and Dez Carter doing, they have no business in this match. This is one case where three is truly a crowd.
BILL HEWSON: They are just there to even the odds. You don't honestly expect that the Zamunda Force is going to stay out of this one?
JACK JONES: ...I guess Krenshov does need all the help he can get against the Prince.
BILL HEWSON: I am sure that is it.
Darko slides out of the ring and tells KBOND and the Z-Force to go to work. Ravager, Krenshov, and Dez Carter quickly toss the three men out of the ring, Ravager and Carter following them to the outside. The ref is trying to get control of a match he never had control of to begin with, instructing Darko to get in the ring. Darko walks over and talks with the Z-Force before sliding in the ring trying to catch Krenshov by surpise.
Kenny easily crushes him to the mat with a left hand to a huge pop!
Darko slides to the corner and asks for a time-out, but Krenshov just looks at the crowd who want more! He follows Darko into the corner and get a low blow for his trouble. Darko takes this chance to remind the crowd and anyone else that they can't whoop him. Darko once again instructs the Z-Force to attack but they are once again stopped by Ravager and Dez. Somehow KBOND makes it to the ring and goes toe-to-toe with Krenshov for a minute! The two big exchange huge right hands, but the distraction allows Darko to get a steel chair. The fans are yelling, chair, chair, but as Krenshov turns around he gets NAILED! CLANG! He's dazed by doesn't go down. Darko hits him again and he still doesn't go down! Darko kicks Kenny in the gut and bends him over, hooking the arms...
BILL HEWSON: He can't possibly hit the Zamunda Driver on a three-hundred-fifty pound man!
JACK JONES: With a little help from his friends!
The Z-Force manages to make it to the ring and they are trying to help Darko land the Zamunda Driver as KBOND fights with Ravager and Carter. "Deeks, grab a leg!" They still can't get the huge KRENSHOV up, but they sure are trying!
JACK JONES: Not this is what wrestling is all about. Heck, this even reminds me of a wedding I once attend in Arkansas.
BILL HEWSON: A wedding? Let's stay focused. How can you say this is what wrestling is all about? I have yet to see any wrestling!
Krenshov powers up and knocks everybody away! Roaring, he delivers a double clothesline to Focks and Deek. He then follows up with a double chokeslam! Krenshov turns around and notices Dez and Ravager finally tossing KBOND out of the ring. Darko thinks about going for another chair shot, but Krenshov turns around and catches the chair as Darko swings it at him. Krenshov yanks the chair away from him --- and WAILS the Prince in the forehead!
Darko is busted wide open!
Focks comes to the aid of Darko as the Prince slides to the outside of the ring, howling in pain. The fans are yelling at him to get back in the ring. Darko is just holding his hand on his head trying to stop the blood. Then out of nowhere Darko looks up and just starts mouthing the crowd, even picking out one guy dressed grunge-style, reminding him this is 2008 and that Krenshov can't whoop him.
JACK JONES: This is what I like about Darko. He is a thinking man's wrestler. And that's why you don't like him.
BILL HEWSON: Yeah, that's what it is: Darko is just misunderstood. Sure Jack.
Darko yanks a steel chair from a fan and heads for the ring trying to surpise Krenshov, but when Kenny makes eye contact with him he takes the chair over to the commentor's booth and puts on the headset.
JACK JONES: Welcome to the broadcast, Prince.
PRINCE DARKO: Thanks, I figured you could use the honor of having me ringside, again, this week.
BILL HEWSON: Only problem with that is you are supposed to be in the ring.
PRINCE DARKO: I don't remember anyone pulling your chain there, Hewson, and you need to show a prince the respect he deserves.
JACK JONES: Yeah, Bill, you should be bowing or something.
BILL HEWSON: Or something is right... Why don't you fight KRENSHOV like a man?
PRINCE DARKO: Enough lip from you, Hewson, just sit back and watch as the Z-Force goes to work.
Kresnshov is hammering away at Focks when Deek and KBOND decide enough is enough and try to get involved... but are again stopped by Ravager and Carter. It's completely breaking down! Carter stiff kicks KBOND towards the ropes... CACTUS CLOTHESLINE brings both men to the outside, where they get up and continue brawling! Matt Focks charges Ravager, he gets backdropped to the floor. Gulping, Deek charges too, same result... HE LANDS ON TOP OF FOCKS! Ravager hits the ropes, SUICIDE DIVE THROUGH THE ROPES ONTO BOTH Z-BOYS! The brawl continues all the way up the entrance ramp until the five men disappear through the curtain.
Which leaves Prince W. Darko all alone with KRENSHOV.
Krenshov climbs out of the ring and heads for Darko, still seated ringside with Hewson and Jones.
PRINCE DARKO: Krenshov, why are you coming out here you know you can't whoop me!
BILL HEWSON: I believe he thinks he can and wants to give it a try.
JACK JONES: Shut up, Hewson, everyone knows the prince can't be whooped.
Krenshov goes for Darko but Darko manages to throws the headset at him and slide out of the way just in time and nails him with a flurry of right hands! Kick to the gut, OH, what a sick shot right to the nose. Krenshov, though, is still up. Down on one knee, but still up. Darko is beside himself as he tells the crowd to shut the hell up. Darko trys to capitalize, ordering Jack Jones to give him his chair, but as Jones goes to give it to him Hewson knocks the chair to the ground!
BILL HEWSON: What exactly do you think you're doing?!
JACK JONES: What the prince told me to do!
BILL HEWSON: So, if he told you to go jump off the space needle would you do that?
JACK JONES: I might. The space needle ain't that tall and a good subject always does what his prince asks of him.
BILL HEWSON: You despicable... WAIT A MINUTE! KRENSHOV IS MOUNTING A COMEBACK!
Krenshov comes to and delivers a devastasting right hand, further opening the wound on Darko's forehead! The crowd is really getting behind Krenshov as he continues to hammer away at Darko forcing him back in the ring. Krenshov gets Darko in the middle of the ring and applies an armbar as the crowd starts to chant break it off, break it off. Krenshov slings Darko up from the mat as you hear his shoulder pop. Krenshov hammers him with a right hand, followed by a left, then another right.
JACK JONES: Somebody stop this match! Krenshov is going to kill the prince!
BILL HEWSON: Darko just getting what he deserves like the old saying goes, pay backs are hell!
Darko looks like he just got do playing chicken with a train and lost as Krenshov goes for - and lands - an Elevated Stalling Powerslam. Krenshov senses the match is over, but he wants to hurt Darko like Darko hurt him. Kenny rolls outside and grabs a chair, much to the pleasure of the fans. He then puts the chair around Darko's ankle. He going to pillmanize it! He climbs to the second rope. 350 lbs off the second rope, but Darko moves just in time as Krenshov lands hard on his recently repaired ankle. He turns around and Darko throws some kind of white powder in Krenshov's eyes!
BILL HEWSON: What the --- Darko just blinded KRENSHOV! Where the hell did he get that?
JONES: It's in the Z-Belt! KRENSHOV tried to end Darko's career, he deserves it!
HEWSON: By blinding the man? Winning at any cost is one thing, but wrestlers have families you know.
JONES: Stop whining and enjoy the match. Darko told you that Krenshov can't whoop him!
BILL HEWSON: KRENSHOV can't see, and... oh no, Darko's got that chair!
Krenshov can't see. Darko raises the chair and BOOM! across the back of Krenshov. But the big man is still up. BOOM! Another back shot, but a wobbly Krenshov remains, up trying to feel for the ropes. BANG! This time, Darko connects with a head shot. Krenshov is still on his feet wobbling, but still up. A frustarted Darko slams the chair down. He hits the ropes ---
OVER AND OUT!
KRENSHOV impacts the discarded steel chair! Darko covers desperately, holding a leg for dear life, ONE, TWO... THREE.
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner by pinfall, PRINCE W. DARKO!
The fans shower the ring with popcorn container, candy wrappers, soda cups, whatever trash they have as they chant, 'Bullshit, Bullshit, Bullshit'! Darko is celebrating and yelling back at the crowd "I told you Krenshov can't whoop me."
BILL HEWSON: What a... we thought tonight we would see a score settled, but instead Darko recruited the damn 82nd Airborne to try to beat ONE MAN. I'm nothing but disgusted.
JACK JONES: And there was nothing illegal about it! No Holds Barred, daddy!
Prince Darko, however, is too busy celebrating to notice a bloody Krenshov... is back on his feet. The crowd noise turns from booing to anticipated thunder. Darko slows down his celebration dance, getting the impression that somebody is behind him. He slowly turns around...
BOOM! Krenshov nails him! He hooks him up...
TOTAL ECLIPSE on to the steel chair!
Krenshov looks down in frustration and disgust at Darko's fallen body. He leaves the ring to a pop, but it doesn't change the match result. The Z-Force, looking VERY worse for wear, avoids him as they rush the side of Darko. KBOND tosses a punch drunk Darko over his shoulder and carrys him to the locker room as the fans continue to throw trash at Darko and the Z-Force as they chant, 'Krenshov, Krenshov.'
BILL HEWSON: I don't think I have ever seen anything like that since NAPW opened it's doors. Something tells me we ain't seen the last of these two in the ring against each other.
JACK JONES: In the end it's like Darko says, 'Krenshov can't whoop him'. I just hope he going to be ok.
BILL HEWSON: What's it like to be you? No, actually, don't answer that.
-INTERMISSION-
FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is a six-man tag, scheduled for one fall!
"NOTE TO SELF, DON'T DIE!"
Ryan Adams blasts, and the crowd blasts the man entering with a torrent of boos. There's only man who would wear these flame-detailed Harley boots...
FRANK WARBURTON: First, from Edmonton Alberta, he is D!
Ryan Adams cuts out, replaced by Superjoint Ritual. The crowd's heat continues, even if the man who comes out is the punkest, grungiest man in NAPW
FRANK WARBURTON: His partner, from Kitchener Ontario, KRUSTY KID PAUL!
"THE CONNECTION IS MADE!"
Finally, Elastica brings out the pimpenest man in NAPW...
FRANK WARBURTON: And finally, accompanied by Lady Sparks... from Staten Island New York, STONE ZELLOR!
BILL HEWSON: One hell of an odd team here, in fact just last week D! and Stone Zellor were against each other in a four-corners match. But they will need to work together tonight to get the win and shoot up the rankings.
JACK JONES: They'll work together, I'd worry about the -other- team that's going to come out here. They know what's on the line when they're in the ring with the World Champion.
The three heels are in the ring, tense but seemingly they've worked things out. D! is mouthing off some fans as Paul broods angrily in a corner. Stone scowls as Lady Sparks tries to pump him up.
"Guess who's back?"
HIT IT!
"They say I'm COCKY!
And I say WHAT?
It ain't bragging if ya back it up!"
FRANK WARBURTON: And now, their opponents! Introducing first from Paducah Kentucky, he is "THE SHOW" CHAD KURTIS!
The crowd gets on their feet for the True PTPer, the Innovator of Offense, THE SHOW! Kurtis steps out the curtain and down the stairs, flipping his hood back. He gets into the ring and tosses his hoodie into the crowd, keeping his eyes on the trio of opposition. Kid Rock fades out, to be replaced by the classic opening guitar riff of the Smashing Pumpkins' "Zero." And that means...
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing his partner, from Houston Texas... "THE EGO BUSTER" DAN RYAN!
The hulking Ryan comes through the curtain to a strong ovation, ready for action in his straight-forward trunks. He doesn't need flash to get attention. His 335 pounds and 6'7" frame will do that for him! He is notably limping slightly, thanks to the latest attack by a certain persona non grata.
His music fades out. There is a prolonged silence as the crowd begins to get ready for the last man in this match...
Drop the beat. The eerie, low-key drone of Black Keys begins. And here he comes, for the second time tonight.
FRANK WARBURTON: And finally, from Wabana, Bell Island, Newfoundland... he is the reigning NAPW WORLD CHAMPION... "LDK" LLOYD REES!
Rees takes his time to the ring, world title belt around his waist! His beard is wild and out of control, but THE CHAMP looks nothing but focused on this match!
BILL HEWSON: He is the World Champion ---
JACK JONES: And one walking target in this match!
BILL HEWSON: No doubt KKP, D! and Zellor would love to get a fall on Rees tonight, that would make a case for a title shot. Rees is teamed with two men who have held plenty of gold in NAPW, including the man he BEAT for the title! There are three former world champions in this contest...
JACK JONES: My head is spinning just thinking about all the subplots in this one!
BILL HEWSON: Krusty Kid Paul came within an eyelash of winning the world title last week. Stone Zellor wants desperately to prove he can main event in NAPW. Dan Ryan wants to get his hands on D!. There's no telling what's going to happen with these six personalities in the same ring, but it's going to be exciting that's for sure!
Referee Dick Kiebiech with the unenviable task of keeping this one under control. He tells both teams to get to their corners and pick their starter, then calls for the bell.
DING DING DING.
It looks like it will be "The Show" Chad Kurtis and D! starting it off for their respective teams... but wait. D! points at Dan Ryan and smirks, yelling that "I want the big goof right there!" Chad wants a piece of D!, but shrugs and looks to the fans. "You want to see this bad-ass mother take out that jerk?" Oh yeah they do! Ryan grins and holds his hand up, tag made. Dan Ryan gets in the ring, flexing his massive arms...
And D! slaps Krusty Kid Paul on the arm and gets right out of the ring to a chorus of boos. KKP shrugs and gets in. Ryan shakes his head, then shrugs, and ties-up with KKP. Ryan easily forces Paul to the corner with his strength, clean break. Paul SPITS in the face of Dan Ryan! OH GEEZ! Ryan hammers in, Paul sidesteps and starts throwing right hands into the big Texan's face. Paul whips Dan Ryan into the opposite corner, follows up with a charge. This time Ryan moves! He catches KKP with a belly-to-belly suplex, Paul goes to the eyes to block. Off the ropes, big boot right across the face of Dan Ryan has him staggering. Paul throws some more big hands, than tries to suplex the big man. He can't get him, Ryan hammers back, delivers a suplex of his own. Ryan grabs a wristlock and tags in an eager "Show." Double axhandle off the top into Paul's exposed shoulder!
BILL HEWSON: Nice teamwork there from two men who have quite the history in NAPW, but they are professionals after all.
JACK JONES: What exactly is Chad Kurtis professional at? Running his mouth?
Kurtis has a sideheadlock, Paul gets to the ropes and shoots him off. Chad ducks a clothesline, flying crucifix attempt, Paul instead drops back with a Samoan Drop! KKP drives the knee into Chad's face and then shoves Chad into his team's corner. Stone tags in off the shoulder as Kiebiech tells KKP to get off the man in the corner. Stone mouths off to the ref, distracting him so KKP and D! can pound on Chad behind his back! "LDK" tries to rush into the ring to cut that off, but Kiebiech clearly sees him and forces him back to his corner, despite Rees' protests. Meanwhile, all three are stomping and hitting Chad in the heel corner, D! using the tag rope to choke the man. By the time Kiebiech turns around, Kurtis is only being choked by Stone with his pimp-tastic wrestling boots. "Get off the neck, Zellor!" Stone does before five, then snapmares Chad out. Rolling neck snap, "perfectly" executed! Stone covers Chad, kick out at two.
Stone hooks a hold, Chad fights to his feet. Stone elbows him to stop that and whips him to the ropes. Discus Clothesline coming up, Chad ducks and rebounds off the other ropes, finally catching Stone with a hell of a Frankensteiner! He's got the Dynamite one down, STANDING SHOOTING STAR! One, two, Stone kicks out. Chad tries to get to a tag, but Stone grabs him from behind. German Suplex? Chad gets around behind, hits one of his own! Stone is folded up, but quickly tags into D!, who charges in and forearms Dan Ryan and Rees off the apron. Unfortunately for him, Chad Kurtis is still up and starts delivering right hands! Kurtis pushes D! into the ropes, whips him off, leg lariat takes D! down. D! gets up, arm dragged down. Another arm drag! Three! D! goes into a corner trying to take a time-out, but Chad doesn't hear any of it. He climbs up on and D! and gives the crowd what they want ---
PUNCHES!
ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! ---
D! drops down and sweeps Chad's legs out from under him, Kurtis landing the hardway on the top turnbuckle. A handful of hair and a yank later, and Chad Kurtis is locked... in the Tree of Woe! The crowd boos like hell as D! mugs for the fans, making it last, before finally delivering a basement dropkick right to Chad's dangling face. D! gets up, then tries to egg on Dan Ryan. Ryan tries to get into the ring at D!, which prompts the referee to force him back... D! claps his hands together and Stone comes in, delivering a standing divingheadbutt to the still trapped Kurtis! Stone claps his hands together, and in comes Krusty Kid Paul, who promptly locks on the CRACK ROCK STEADY armbreaker in the Tree of Woe! Referee finally turns around, Chad is yelling in pain as Paul wrenches for all he's worth. Kiebiech yells to break the hold in the ropes, one, two, three, four, Paul lets go before he gets his team disqualified.
BILL HEWSON: Not that I think he really cares, but KKP has to be careful not to his team disqualified.
JACK JONES: KKP isn't a huge fans of these things we call "rules," Hewson. But he DOES want another shot at the World Title, and that means a win here tonight.
BILL HEWSON: Chad Kurtis desperately needs to tag out. He's so resilient, he's taken so much punishment in this match --- a match where the World Champion has yet to even tag in! --- but eventually, you're going to stay down!
Paul stomps away at Chad, working on him good. Chad begins to fight back, but Paul drives his knee up to The Show's gut... then hits the ropes to deliver a big boot right to the side of the head! Kurtis goes down like a shot as Paul covers, ONE, TWO, no dice. Kick-out there! Paul tags into Stone Zellor, who is quick to hook up Chad Kurtis... oh no.
STONE'S THROW!
Fisherman's Brainbuster connects! That's all she wrote, ONE, TWO...
SHOULDER UP!
Stone looks at the ref in disbelief CHAD GRABS A SCHOOL BOY! ONE! TWO! Stone kicks out, then immediately backhand slaps Chad down to the canvas. He hits the ropes and kicks Chad right in the damn face before tagging in D! once again. The manic D! comes in, cackling in the general direction of a frustrated Rees and Dan Ryan, stalking Chad Kurtis. "The Show" gets to his feet, slowly... D! HAS HIM BEHIND! NYQUIL SPIKE --- The Show elbows the mid-section! Trying to stop the move! But D! hammers him. CHOP on the ropes. "You want to play, huh?!" D! whips Chad into the ropes and charges in after him
KURTIS SPRINGBOARDS OFF!
INVERTED DDT!
SHOWTIME CONNECTS! And D! is DOWN!
BILL HEWSON: He calls that SHOWTIME, but NOW has to be The Show's time! It took all he had to hit that move! D! is down, but crawling to his corner! Make the tag, Show, you just have to make the tag!
JACK JONES: Hey, watch the bias! Come on D!, stop that Kentucky chump!
D! is holding the back of his head, but he tags in Krusty Kid Paul! Paul tries to grab The Show by the ankle, but with a SUPERMAN DIVE Chad tags the outstretched hand...
OF "LDK" LLOYD REES!
THE CHAMP IS IN and fighting with Krusty Kid Paul! RIGHT HANDS FROM BOTH MEN, NEITHER GIVING AN INCH! These two still have a lot to give to each other, but Rees is fresh, he's fired up, and he's PISSED OFF. He knocks Paul down, Stone tries to blindside him, gets a clothesline for his troubles! D! charges, clotheslined down! Stone tries to charge again, Rees back drops him over the top rope. Stone lands on the apron, D! charges in to hit Rees, sidestep, D! knocks Stone to the floor by accident. Then Rees backdrops D! over the top right onto Stone! KKP from behind, but Dan Ryan is in. He powers Krusty Kid Paul over his head with a gorilla press... and dumps Paul to the floor on top of both partners!
BILL HEWSON: It's busting loose in Seattle! Wait, watch the champion... FRESH WATER FLIP! REES TAKES OUT THE WHOLE CROWD!
The whole pile are getting up, Dan Ryan has gone to the floor as well, trying to get his hands on D!... but there's on person people are forgetting about. Sure, he's hurt, but he's ALWAYS got room for a death-defying highspot! All five men look up
AND IT'S A PRIME TIME SPLASH ONTO THE PILE! The crowd HAVEN'T SAT DOWN! "WE LIKE HIGHSPOTS!" nah, I'm kidding, but the crowd is superhot as Lloyd Rees picks himself up and rolls Krusty Kid Paul into the ring. D! crawls around the ring back towards his corner as The Show and Dan Ryan get to their own. Rees has KKP... DDT from the Green! ONE! TWO! Kick-out! Guts from Paul. LDK is fine with that, he grabs the legs and quick as a whip has the LANCE COVE LEGLOCK locked on Paul! WILL HE TAP? WILL HE TAP?
NO!
Stone Zellor with a missile dropkick connects to Rees, knocking him out. Stone roughly sends KKP back to his own corner, then tries to tag in, but KKP gives him a finger and backs off. Stone swipes, but Paul is just too far. Meanwhile, however, Rees has come close enough to his corner that Dan Ryan tags himself in. D! suddenly yells for Paul to turn around, but it's too late---
RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX from Dan Ryan! Paul is dazed, he somehow gets up right away... only to get destroyed by a Dan Ryan superkick! ONE! TWO! THREEE
D! SAVES!
And then Dan Ryan gets up. He cracks his neck and turns his gaze on D!, who suddenly looks like a deer in headlights. A false grin follows, and D! offers a handshake to Dan Ryan. "Hey, no hard feelings, right?" Ryan rolls his eyes. He hasn't been a ten year veteran to get caught like this. He grabs D! by the collar as the crowd goes crazy! Do they want it? Damn rights they want it! Ryan hauls back to destroy D! with a right hand, finally...
BILL HEWSON: D! is finally going to face the wrath of Dan Ryan after ducking him for the past several weeks! Come on, Ryan, do it --- KKP from behind! HOLY --- he just German Suplexed the big man!
JACK JONES: Never count out the power of alcohol!
BILL HEWSON: The elbow follows, Paul's Bottle Opener move! He covers, Ryan kicks out for a close two count! Wait a minute, Stone Zellor is in! This whole thing is breaking down before our eyes!
Rees comes in to meet Stone! D! tries to stomp on Ryan now that he's down, but watch out --- here comes The Show! The Show and D! tumble to the floor, brawling with each other, as Stone Zellor grabs Rees by the arms. ZELLORIFICATION --- no! Lloyd Rees counters the hold CONCEPTION BAY CHINLOCK! Neither man is legal, Kiebiech telling them to come out but Rees is WRENCHING back on the hold, trying to hear Stone's head off his shoulders! "YA WANT T'BE DA CHAMP, EH, YA WANT TO BE DA MAIN EVENT, DIS IS WHAT IT'S LIKE!" "ARGHHHHHH!"
Dan Ryan is up, KKP charges in... caught with a Spinebuster NO! Reversed to a DDT! Ryan is spiked to the canvas, what is this? The referee is distracted by Rees and Stone! D! and The Show are on the outside, The Show sending D! into the ringpost--- no! D! reverses, Show hits the ringpost and goes down.
But with the referee distracted, Krusty Kid Paul digs into his shorts and pulls out a length of chain. He wraps it around his fist as Ryan gets up... POW! Ryan goes down from the chain shot! Paul tosses the chain outside and then yells at the ref to pay attention.
BILL HEWSON: He can't the KRUSTY BOMB on Dan Ryan, no way!
JACK JONES: That's not what he's going for, Hewson!
BILL HEWSON: My God, Paul with a huge show of strength just lifted Dan Ryan up... MY GOD! PILEDRIVER! THREE-HUNDRED AND THIRTY-FIVE POUNDS JUST CAME CRASHING DOWN ON RYAN'S NECK! KKP covers, one, two, dammit three!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here are your winners, the team of D!, STONE ZELLOR and KRUSTY KID PAUL!
Paul celebrates, then goes to get his chain. He rolls in and begins choking Dan Ryan with the chain... the crowd boos, but then pops when Lloyd Rees takes KKP down! He tosses Paul out of the ring, then looks out at the crowd. Stone Zellor is out, being helped to the back by Lady Sparks. The Show heads to the back as well. Rees offers Dan Ryan... a hand?
Ryan looks dubious, but reaches up and accepts it. Rees helps Ryan to his feet, the latter holding his neck in pain. The crowd gives the two an ovation and they exit. KKP has disappeared, no doubt gone to celebrate his victory with booze and cheap women.
BILL HEWSON: Krusty Kid Paul has pinned Dan Ryan, another huge performance from KKP over the past few months. But he wasn't able to pin the World Champion, it will be interesting to see how this impacts the rankings.
JACK JONES: Jake Phoenix gets the next shot, but you try telling me Krusty Kid Paul doesn't deserve another go at the world strap, no matter who holds it after August.
BILL HEWSON: There's no denying KKP's recent success. I have to think the recent incidents with a certain "stellar" individual are weighing on Dan Ryan's mind, his focus was off tonight. Gutsy performance by The Show... Stone Zellor and D! pick up the win, but certainly both men wanted to score the fall themselves. We just have two matches left, and...
D!: Now that EVERYBODY is gone, I have something to point out to you "wonderful" American fans!
BILL HEWSON: ...who gave him the mic? Well, we might as well sit here and let him talk. You bring a book?
JACK JONES: How dare you! When D! talks, I listen!
D! indeed has the microphone as everybody showers him with boos.
D!: I know, I know, you didn't get to see the Nyquil Spike, but that's okay! Because our team won, even if the dirtbag did it, but I'm not here to talk about that match. You know, what *I* want to talk about is a certain Trent Daniels. Trent, where were you last week? Your boys were out! Your little "street team," but you were nowhere to be found. Oh, SURE, you threw alphabet soup on me but did you think that would get to me? You're wrong, Daniels, wrong wrong WRONG, and you're a coward too! You want another match with me, you're never going to get it! Never ever never ever never never! And one other thing --- what the hell IS that? Rees, did you come back out here ---
D!'s voice trails off as he looks out. Walking down the aisle are about four guys dressed in bright orange waders, talking in rapid speech... each carrying a large frozen fish. It almost sounds like gibberish, but it's not. D! looks confused, but the crowd knows who they are. It's the crew from the World Famous Pike Place Fish Market, just one block away! They surround the ring, one on each side. Suddenly one yells "SALMONTHIRTEENPOUNDS!" The other three repeat, and the first guy hurls the fish up and over the ring, narrowly clipping D! in the head. D! looks flabbergasted as the next fishmonger yells out "SNAPPERFIFTEEN!" "SNAPPERFIFTEEN!" comes the call back, and a big snapper flies through the ring, just over D!'s head.
D! bites his lower lip, wondering what's next...
When one yells out "SPECIAL DELIVERY!" "SPECIAL DELIVERY!" A big frozen fish whacks D! in the back! He turns around, angry, but hears the same phrase shouted and repeated. SNAPPER IN THE SIDE OF THE FACE! BIG TROUT TO HIS CHEST! SALMON TO THE BACK OF HIS LEGS! D! falls over, surrounded by giant frozen fish as the Fishmongers play to the crowd. "HEYYYYYYYY!"
First Alphabet Soup, now frozen fish. What will Trent Daniels do next to get to D!?
"LOOK OUT BELOW!"
Closure pumps threw the arena as the fans go from happy to mad, just like that.
FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is set for one fall! Introducing first, Weighing in at two hundred and thirty pounds... from Parts Unknown British Columbia, this is THE SCREAMING FALCON!
A huge roar of boos from the crowd erupts as the Falcon walks out onto the runway, he takes the negativity in and smiles as the hundreds of fans boo and hiss. A sign in the second row reads.
"Clip his wings"
The song changes to "Down the Drain" by the Zero Boys.
FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent making his debut match here tonight, weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds... all the way from Matasuzak City, Japan, he is MASAFUMI SATAKE!
The fans cheer as the confident wrestling veteran Masafumi Satake stalks to the ring. He raises both of his hands in the air trying to trigger a reaction from the crowd. A smile is adorned on his face as he circles the ring, finally sliding into the squared circle. He jumps up to his feet, shakes the referee's hand. He offers a handshake to Falcon, who giggles at the offer. Satake shrugs.
BILL HEWSON: Masafumi is one of two new wrestlers to NAPW this week, making his debut here tonight, and what a show to be doing it on too, Jack.
JACK JONES: What a show indeed, Showdown in the Showbox. But don't be fooled though, this isn't Masaffas... Masafam... This isn't that guy's first time in the ring.
Both men are in the ring, the ref calls for the bell.
DING DING DING!
Falcon, wasting no time, grabs Masafumi and throws him into the ropes. As he bounces back Falcon goes for the clothesline --- Masafumi goes low and Clips the Falcon at the knees. Jacob is down (Huge pop from the crowd.) He slams the mat as he stands back up, turning around just in time for a big boot! Falcon smacks the boot out of the way at the last second but its not enough, Masafumi uses the momentum for a round house kick to the side of the Falcon's head sending him hurling towards the corner. Masafumi backs up and runs full speed! ROARING ELBOW into the back of the Falcon's head! Falcon turns around holding his head laughing.
"Is that all you got?"
Masafumi pays no attention and the two men begin to approach each other, they lock up. Falcon brings Masafumi's head in for a powerful head butt, sending him stumbling backwards. Jacob walks forward and grabs the dazed Masafumi by the back of the neck. He slams him down to the mat, nothing fancy here just SLAMS him. Falcon raises his arms in the air, the fans boo and hiss.
But Masafumi is back on his feet. The Falcon turns around to greet him, the two men begin to exchange blows to the head, back and forth, one, two, three, four, this is having no effect! Neither man backing down! Falcon cuts off Masafumi with an eye gouge. He grabs Masafumi, swinging him into the ropes again, this time the clothesline connects and what a clothesline, sending Masafumi flying head over heel! Jacob picks him up for... a power bomb?
Masafumi quickly counters and begins to drive elbow after elbow into the top of the Falcon's head, Falcon falls backwards as Masafumi goes down with him landing on his chest, switching from elbows to the closed fist! He drives four more shots in to Jacob's face before getting off him. Masafumi stands up; the crowd loves him as he lifts his hand to his ear and cups it.
"I can't hear you!"
The crowd begins to chant.
"Clip his wings, Clip his wings!"
BILL HEWSON: Masafumi seems to have won the support of the crowd here tonight!
JACK JONES: It's not hard to be a fan favourite when you're up against somebody as hated as the Falcon, Bill.
Falcon is up, he's bleeding from his left eyebrow. He wipes the blood off and begins to laugh hysterically. Masafumi comes in but Falcon snaps a CUTTER off out of nowhere! Masafumi is down, grabbing his neck. Falcon taunts him a little, smacking him in the face before turning around to listen to the hateful boos from the crowd. Masafumi is back to his feet, and Falcon is right there to greet him with a SUPERKICK. Falcon covers, gets a TWO count out of it.
BILL HEWSON: It's going to take a lot more then a kick to the face to Keep this new up and comer down.
JACK JONES: Two usually does it Bill... Two.
The frustrated Falcon gets up, grabbing Masafumi by the head and lifting him up to his feet. Falcon runs off the ropes and towards Masafumi, flying through the air feet first to nail the UNKINDNESS, sending Masafumi's head spiking into the mat. Falcon goes for the pin.
ONE!
TWO!
Masafumis kicks out!
BILL HEWSON: Looks like two wasn't enough Jack.
JACK JONES: Well if it was me in that ring TWO would have been enough.
BILL HEWSON: I some how doubt that.
JACK JONES: I'll put my money on three Bill, three dropkicks always does the trick.
Falcon to his feet, this time Masafumi is quick to meet him with a stiff uppercut sending the Falcon stumbling backwards. The fans chants become louder, giving Masafumi the energy he needs to carry on! Falcon shot to the ropes, he tries a clothesline but Masafumi ducks behind andquickly wraps his arms around the Falcon's neck, locking on the cobra clutch flowed by the SUPLEX!
BILL HEWSON: He calls that one the Ipponzei.
Jack's face is buried in a magazine.
JACK JONES: Sorry I missed that *Jack sets down the magazine.* did you know that for just three easy payments of fifty nine ninety nine you can be the proud new owner of a Marlon Monroe lamp shade.
BILL HEWSON: Do your job will you? This is a hell of a match right here!
Falcon is on the ground, laughing and holding his throat at the same time. Masafumi approaches him and begins to bring him to his feet LOW BLOW! Masafumi drops like a rock to the mat, Falcon stands up to the awful sound of boos from the crowd.
He smiles at them.
Dragging Masafumi to the center of the ring, Falcon stands over his body and spreads his "wings." That's the signal! Falcon makes his way towards the turnbuckle and begins to climb. WHAT'S THIS! Masafumis is up and he's spotted Falcon! He charges and nails him in the back sending him flying head first to the outside!
JACK JONES: Wrong way Falcon, how's that for doing my job Bill?
BILL HEWSON: Oh just great. If Falcon had hit the SMW it might've been all over, but Satake with enough in the tank to block him!
Masafumi backs off to allow Falcon room to get into the ring.
One!
Falcon is struggling to get up.
Two! Three!
He's to his feet. He doesn't even look like he wants to get back in against Satake!
Four!
Is Falcon... leaving?! Satake doesn't want to win by count-out but Falcon is walking away.
Five! Six!
He stops. Laughter bubbles up from within.
SEVEN!
Falcon turns around. Making his way around the ring he reaches over the guard rail and grabs a chair from a hateful fan!
EIGHT!
Falcon gets into the ring with the chair! The ref reaches out and grabs it, fighting with the frustrated Falcon, trying to take the chair away. The Falcon lets go of the Chair as the ref goes wobbling back, but Masafumi takes advantage of the situation and lands one sweet dropkick to the busted face of Jacob! Another dropkick! ANOTHER! Falcon is staggering, he tries to connect with a right hand, blocked, Satake spins Falcon around and picks him up over his head --- MATSUZKA CUTTER! Falcon slammed violently into the mat, Satake covers
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
DING! DING! DING!
FRANK WARBURTON: And your winner, via pinfall, MASAFUME SATAKE!
The ref Masafumi hand high in the air, as he takes the win in his debut match. He smiles and his eyes are filled with confidence, pride and success. Falcon rolls out, stumbling up the aisle. He's making low noises, half-scream, half-laughter as the blood trickles from his busted eyebrow.
BILL HEWSON: And what a victory, Falcon gave it his all but it just wasn't enough against the experience of Masafumi Satake. The turning point of this match certainly when Falcon tried to bring the chair into the ring, and it might just have cost him the match.
JACK JONES: That's not what cost him the match! What did I tell you, three dropkicks is always enough!
BILL HEWSON: ...your winner, Masafumi Satake!
FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is scheduled for one fall... and is for the NAPW CANADIAN HERITAGE CHAMPIONSHIP!
The crowd looks to the entrance way... and Airbourne's "Too Much, Too Young, Too Fast" kicks in! They rise to their feet as Trent Daniels makes his way out, wearing his classic t-shirt featuring the list of wrestlers who have "kicked his ass." He mugs for his street team before rolling in the ring and taking the shirt off, revealing his oft-taped ribs.
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first, the challenger. Weighing in at two-hundred and fifteen pounds! From Ottawa, Ontario, he is TRENT DANIELS!
Daniels waits for his opponent as his music fades. He wants that Heritage title back around his waist, badly.
"SURPRISE! YOU'RE DEAD!"
The crowd boos as Faith No More kicks up for the second time this evening, once again bringing out the six-nine Heritage Champion. The title belt dangles from Phoenix's hand like a defeated prey, the big man walking out with his trademark Oakleys on.
FRANK WARBURTON: And now, weighing in at two-hundred and eighty-nine pounds! From Fort Lauderdale, Florida, he is the reigning NAPW Canadian Heritage Champion... JAKE PHOENIX!
BILL HEWSON: It was Trent Daniels whom Jake Phoenix defeated several months ago for the Heritage Title. Now, these two will finally engage in the rematch. We know they will give their all in this one.
JACK JONES: I'm not a fan of Trent Daniels, but he actually defeated Dan Ryan last month... I don't like his chances, but pinning Dan Ryan in a singles match is no small feat.
BILL HEWSON: Referee Morgan Smythe attached to this main event... there's the bell! We are underway here in Seattle!
Trent, taped ribs and all, still makes the effort to tie up. Jake, always the opportunist, wastes no time and goes straight for Trent's bad ribs. Just one blow drops Trent to his knees, making him gasp for air, but he battles through the pain and lunges at Jake with a spear! Trent wails away on Jake's face!
BILL HEWSON: It's pretty safe to assume this will be an uphill battle for Trent Daniels and it doesn't seem like he's going to lay down.
JACK JONES: You know I fought on a hill once -- almost fell.
Jake takes a shot at his ribs, which forces Trent to get off of him. Jake on his feet sends Trent into the turnbuckle with authority! Trent stumbles out and drops to the floor, succumbing to pain. Jake walks over, almost stalker like, he steps on Trent's ribs with no remorse. Jake places Trent in the corner to inflict more pain to those weak ribs. Shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust, Trent refuses to quit.
JACK JONES: All of that heart is going to get him hurt.
Jake whips him to the other corner -- NO, REVERSE! SPINING DROP TOE HOLD! WAKE UP CALL! Trent collapses, he takes this time to try and gain his breath. Up on his feet, arm still wrapped around his taped ribs he walks over to Phoenix, who is making way, trying to get on his feet. Trent sends a right, then a left, each blow takes a little out of him, but he CONTINUES TO FIRE! Jake wants to play firefighter and send a left right to his ribs, ending Trent's momentum. Jake sends Trent to the ropes and catches him with HUGE POWERSLAM! Both legs are hooked! ONE! TWO! THRE-KICKOUT!
BILL HEWSON: Trent Daniels shows so much heart and dedication, it's amazing.
Jake sends a forearm right to the ribs then another cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Jake applies a devilish bearhug, squeezing away every breath! Trent immediately begins to try to pry away to freedom, but Jake's stuck to him. Jake gets onto his knee, getting a better grip.
BILL HEWSON: This doesn't look good for Trent.
JACK JONES: He better tap out now, while the going is still good.
Jake's on his feet, shaking Trent around like an old rag doll. Jake up stops jolting him around, and looks at him, in his hands, lifeless. Jake smirks before locking it back in. The ref raises Trent's arm. One time. IT DROPS! A Second time. IT DROPS! This is it, the last time. It's just about to -- NO! STILL IN THERE! "LETS GO TRENT!" Trent starts to battle away with all he's got! HE'S OUT, OFF THE ROPES -- NO! KNEE TO THE RIBS! Jake stands over the broken Trent...ELBOW DROP TO THE RIBS--NO ONE IS HOME! Trent's not a mat tech for nothing, he applies a Fuji-wara arm bar, he yanks back trying to yank off Jake's arm.
BILL HEWSON: Great move. No arm, no chokeslam, no power slam and most importantly, no tombstone.
The big man makes a b-line for the ropes, and with ribs like Trent's, he really can't hold Jake back. Trent rushes to the ropes -- JAKE WITH A BIG BOOT -- DUCKS -- OTTAWA TRIO! Those three kicks only enrage the big man, Jake grabs Trent by the neck with both hands and holds him up in the air for a choke toss, but Trent battles out of the hold and lands on his feet...SUPERKICK! Bad ribs and all, he still manages to get his feet up that high. ONE! TWO! SHOULDER'S UP! Trent on his feet, moves to the turnbuckle, stands on top and waits.
BILL HEWSON: With those ribs? Is he serious?
JACK JONES: Seriously going to hurt himself.
DIVING CROSS BODY--NO! JAKE CATCHES HIM! FALLAWAY SLAM INTO THE CORNER! Jake collects Trent before sending him down to the mat with a vicious suplex that thunders across the whole arena. The cover. ONE! TWO! THRE-KICK OUT! Jake picks up Trent, holds him in position for another Fallaway slam? No. He SMASHES Trent's RIBS into his knee, not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES! Then another Fallaway Slam. Another cover, both legs hooked this time. ONE! TWO! THRE-KICKOUT! Jake's a bit annoyed here, he sends Trent to the ropes, Trent comes back and EXPLODES with a BIG LARIAT! Trent applies a sleeper hold, a great way to get your breath back while taking some one else's away! Jakes gets to his knee, to his FEET! The big man walks backwards, crushing Trent in the corner and breaking the hold.
Getting some distance, Jake rushes at him --- Trent is up and over, school boy, kick out at one. Trent rushes to the ropes and returns with a quick dropkick. Jake flys out of the ring! Trent right after him, sending rights and lefts, but gets shut down with a big boot. Jake picks up Trent, holds him high in a Military Press Hold and TOSSES HIM TO THE STEEL POST, RIBS FIRST! Jake rolls him into the ring for the cover. ONE! TWO! THREE-FOOT ON THE ROPES!
BILL HEWSON: Great ring sense.
JACK JONES: That boy is stupid. Do you see the condition his ribs are in and he wants this match to continue? With ribs like those I'd take a sick day.
Jake isn't too happy about this, he takes Trent to the corner, there he starts to send his soup bowls into Trent's ribs, sending fire with each blow. Jake takes him out of the corner before sending a knee to those ribs, Jake tosses him to the mat. Trent feels on his ribs, grimacing in pain. Jake with the leg drop, but NOBODY'S HOME! Trent on his feet send lightning kicks to Jake's chest, then NAILS a Shining Wizard. He hooks the leg. ONE! TWO! THREE-KICKOUT! Trent gets up before Jake, dropkick to the jaw, Jake's right back down! They're both up, Jake goes for a right, it's deflected, chop! Then another chop, and another. Trent rips off Jake's wife beater and chops some more! Jake delivers a pummeling clothesline to Trent, taking him down to the mat in a heart beat.
BILL HEWSON: No matter how hard Trent tries, Jake just always has a one-hitter quitter in stock.
Trent gets up again, is struck down by a boot. But he doesn't want to die and is up a second time. Jake with a knee to the ribs, shouting, "STAY DOWN!" He won't, he's up a third time and gets spinebustered to the mat. Jake doesn't cover, he starts to uncover, he's peeling off the bandages Trent Daniels. Trent tries to battle him off, but Jake makes sure he doesn't move with a blow to the ribs. Jake tosses the bandages out of the ring before bringing Trent to his feet. Trent breaks away, sends a boot to Jake's mid section, off the ropes --BIG BACK BODY DROP! Jake drags Trent's body to the corner. Jake slides out, grabs hold of Trent's arm and foot, pulls, places his foot on the post and begins to yank away.
BILL HEWSON: Luckly for Trent this move is illegal.
JACK JONES: But with those ribs, that move doesn't even need to be applied to hurt.
Jake frees his grip at four. He roles back into the ring, drags Trent center ring, brings him to his feet and locks in an Octopus Stretch. Trent's ribs hurt too bad for him to even scream in pain. Morgan checks on him, he shakes his head, refusing to quit. The crowd, they start getting behind him. "LETS GO TRENT! LETS GO! LETS GO TRENT! LETS GO!" They clap, stomp their feet, get rowdy and loud. Trent absorbs of all this, he's PUMPING UP! Jake sends an elbow to the exposed ribs and tosses him to the mat. "GET UP NOW, BITCH!" Jake snarls. Trent is crawling towards Jake. He reaches up and grabs Jake's jeans, using them to pull himself up.
Trent Daniels will not die.
Jake almost shakes his head with pity, but he doesn't really do "pity." He piefaces Trent into the corner and raises an arm. HUGE CHARGE... wait a minute! MORGAN SMYTHE was checking on Trent, Jake actually tries to stop short but no dice! Pint-sized Morgan gets squashed between Phoenix and Daniels! Jake shows a flicker of ... not so much concern, but irritation. He don't care much for referees but he's not a women hitter.
BILL HEWSON: We might need some help for referee Smythe here, she's got a lot of guts, but Jake Phoenix is easily over twice her size.
JACK JONES: This match isn't over yet, though, and Jake hasn't forgotten it!
BILL HEWSON: Oh no! Jake going for Daniels... here it comes! TOMBSTONE --- Daniels out from behind! Wait, jawbreaker! Jake is stunned, Daniels leaps to the second rope ... SYSTEMS CRASH! THE SYSTEMS CRASH CONNECTS!
JACK JONES: OH NO!
Trent makes a cover, throwing an arm over Phoenix. The CROWD chants "ONE, TWO, THREE"... but Smythe is still down. She seems to be stirring, but not quite there yet. Trent gets off, face a mask of pain and "you gotta be kidding me." Jake rolls over onto his belly, he was caught square by Trent's finisher. Daniels, holding his ribs, tries to shake Smythe with his free hand to wake her up.
In other words, nobody except the fans see D! rocket into the ring with a steel chair in hand. Trent suddenly notes the crowd's change in noise, turns around and ---
KKKKRAAAAANG
The hardest chair shot seen all night, and there have been tons. Trent goes down in a heap as D! looks on with a wild grin. The crowd showers him with hot hatred as D! slithers out of the ring.
BILL HEWSON: That son of a --- come on!
JACK JONES: Trent Daniels brought this on himself!
BILL HEWSON: How can you possibly believe that? Smythe didn't see that, Jake Phoenix didn't see D!... Daniels is down! And wait, oh no, Jake Phoenix is getting back to his feet!
Phoenix looks at the pretty much unconscious Daniels. He looks perplexed, but then shrugs. He has a title to retain.
Jake checks on Morgan, who moans and rolls over, but seems to be coming through. He smirks, then grabs Trent Daniels. Daniels is nothing, dangling from Jake's hands. He hoists him over his shoulder like so much dead weight and preps him. Trent's arms hang down as he's upside down and Jake delivers the TOMBSTONE.
Nobody gets up from the Tombstone. And tonight won't be the night that changes.
Smythe rolls over and counts, one...
Two...
Three.
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner, and STILL NAPW Canadian Heritage Champion... JAKE PHOENIX!
BILL HEWSON: Damn that D!, but even Jake Phoenix doesn't know what just transpired. I can't believe what we have just witnessed to end such a great night of action. D! screwed Trent Daniels... but right there, STILL your Heritage Champion... Jake Phoenix. For Jack Jones, this is Bill Hewson saying goodnight Seattle!
The show ends on Trent Daniels pretty much flat, unconscious in the middle of the ring, and Jake Phoenix holding his arms and the Heritage Title belt high.
"You're next, Rees! You're next!"
Fade.
CREDITS:
Tag Title Match - Ben
Ravager/TDG - Ryan
Women's Match - Jesse
Phoenix/LDK/Brandon segment - Mike & Hussey
C&C/MyEx - Allan
KRENSHOV vs Darko - Kent
Six-Man Tag - Ryan
Satake/Falcon - Troy
Phoenix/Daniels - J.P.