The Russian Community Center on trendy West 4th Avenue in Vancouver, BC. It's a sunny day, a respite from all the rain, and the Russsian is PACKED for fans of PRO WRESTLING! The ring is set up in the center of the hall, small stairs lead up to the stage, a heavy curtain surrounds the NAPW entrance way set up. There are a few hundred fans packed in, as many can seat on the floor in the balcony, but all that's left is standing room only! The NAPW merchandise table is set up with DVDs of all the recent shows ("Bingo Tango!!" sold out almost immediately), and of course "The Best of the Beast", "PATH: The Best of Ravager" and "The Best of Don Travelli" (Kidding). The Trent Daniels Street Team shirts are selling quite well, as is the merch of most of the popular wrestlers. But enough chit-chat. It's time for WRESTLING ACTION!
FRANK WARBURTON: Vancouver British Columbia, are you ready to meet NEW ALBERTA PRO WRESTLING?
The fans cheer, it's been a while since NAPW has been down to the West Coast!
FRANK WARBURTON: Then let's go to our opening bout! The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and will be contested under SUPERSTAR RULES! No disqualification! No count-outs!
The Vancouver crowd cheers wildly - they love their hardcore action here. But when Superjoint Ritual starts, they aren't cheering as much... in fact, they're just booing.
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first! from Kitchener, Ontario... weighing two-hundred and forty pounds, he is KRUSTY KID PAUL!
KKP heads down the steps and the small aisle in the building, jawing with the crowd. But he should've paid attention behind him...
BILL HEWSON: DEATHROW FROM BEHIND, HE CAME FROM THE BACK AND THE FIGHT'S ON!
JACK JONES: That's a cheap shot, but that's Deathrow for ya!
BILL HEWSON: Tommy Deathrow isn't waiting for the bell, this match is underway! So much hate between these two former partners!
Deathrow throws KKP into the ringpost to start off, and they're brawling around the ring, Deathrow leading the way with right hands, not dropping his bottle of vodka! Paul staggers up and Deathrow beals him onto the cold floor below! Deathrow's lovin' his work so far, and he's celebrating a bit with the vodka... nipple rubs, crotch honkin', this is Tommy Deathrow!
*CLONK*
AND THAT WAS A CHAIR FROM KRUSTY KID PAUL TO THE HEAD! Pinpoint accuracy by KKP, he's not out of this yet! Paul grabs Deathrow's bottle and takes a swig of the man's Absolut.. and SPRAYS it right into Tommy's eyes!
BILL HEWSON: Deathrow could be blinded after that, that vodka's gotta burn your eyes!
JACK JONES: It's Deathrow, he's gotta be used to that by now.
BILL HEWSON: Deathrow can't see right now, swing and a miss... KKP scoops him up, SLAM ON THE WOODEN STEPS! You could hear them splinter a bit under the weight of Deathrow, who's in considerable pain from that slam!
Paul's got that bottle of vodka again... and he pours it right into Deathrow's eyes! If the burning drink wasn't blinding him before, it is now! Deathrow swinging, he's back inside the ring, he nearly swung and got the referee with that one! He's flying blind as KKP's back in with that chair... and a shot to the back of Deathrow! Another one and Deathrow's down again! He picks Deathrow up in a waistlock.. BOTTLE OPENER, and THERE'S the elbowdrop! Cover by Paul!
ONE
TWO
Kickout by Deathrow!
BILL HEWSON: Deathrow started this match fast but Paul's turned it around, and ever since he got that vodka in the eyes, he's been unable to get his bearings!
JACK JONES: Hey, that's good strategy! He's keeping him off balance, and if Deathrow can't stand, he can't fight!
Paul scoops up Deathrow, tree of woe in the corner! Deathrow's fighting his way up, but Paul's got the chair... SLIDING DROPKICK TO DEATHROW WITH THE CHAIR! Deathrow's in trouble in that corner and how, and he's been busted wide open by that dropkick! Paul to the apron.. he's got the arm, CRACK ROCK STEADY LOCKED IN! And Deathrow's got nowhere to go! He's in the ropes but it's Superstar Rules! Deathrow yelling in pain, but he won't quit!
BILL HEWSON: Krusty Kid Paul finally releases the hold, Deathrow's still trapped in the corner!
JACK JONES: And the ref can't do anything to help him, it's Superstar Rules, anything goes!
Paul gets back onto the apron to contin--
*WHAM*
Deathrow grabbed the chair laying by his head and just threw it right at Paul's head! Paul's off the apron to the floor, and he's on Dream Street after that! Deathrow's gotten himself loose in the corner, he's on the apron now... HE DROPS THE ELBOW ONTO KRUSTY KID PAUL! This crowd's going nuts with that one!
BILL HEWSON: Deathrow may have just bought himself back into this match! He's got that chair now... TO THE BACK!
JACK JONES: What are you, Mike Tenay?
BILL HEWSON: Another shot to the back! Paul back inside the ring, Deathrow's after him, and even with that blood he's got a smile on his face!
Or he did.
*DING*
The second Deathrow stepped in between the ropes, KKP punted the middle rope and crotched Deathrow on it! Deathrow dropped the chair.. AND KKP SPINEBUSTERS HIM ON THE CHAIR! That chair is mutilated, damaged, bent, and Deathrow's not much better off! KKP sets Deathrow up... POWERBOMB! And --- oh for the love of, KKP slides his pants down and jumps over Tommy, landing his thong-covered ass on Tommy's face! He calls the whole shebang the KRUSTY BOMB! COVER!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner... KRUSTY KID PAUL!!
JACK JONES: Holy hell, did KKP just BEAT Tommy Deathrow... that fast?!
BILL HEWSON: I can't believe what we just saw, hey come on! The match is over, dammit, we need security!
Krusty Kid Paul has defeated Tommy Deathrow, and he's going on to face either Jake Phoenix or Matthew Kurtis next week for the Heritage title... and a possible shot at the World title! But that's then, and this is now.. and now, Paul isn't finished.
Paul picks up Deathrow, who's out of it...
...and gives him A DEATHROW DRIVER ON THE STEEL CHAIR! KKP has just taken Deathrow out with Tommy's own Deathrow Driver! The gang of referees are in there to keep Paul from doing even more damage to Tommy Deathrow, who's laying in the ring, beaten and bloodied. KKP shoves one referee aside... and picks up the steel chair lying under Deathrow's head. Paul holds it up to the crowd, the blood smeared on the chair as the officials tend to whatever's left of Deathrow...
"WHEN IT'S TIME TO PARTY, WE PARTY HARD!"
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, our next match is scheduled for one fall and is a tag team match. Introducing first, at a combined weight of four-hundred-and-forty pounds. They are FORMER FOUR TIME NAPW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! MYSTIC NINJA AND THE EXPOSITIONER! MYSTIC EXPOSITION!
With Andrew WK playing throughout the Russian Community Center, the Vancouver fans are on their feet! The members of Mystic Exposition emerge from the back to a rapturous applause, which continues as they hurry down the aisle, slapping hands with the fans along the way.
FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponents, at a combined weight of four-hundred-and-fifty pounds. Being accompanied by TONY and TONY'S Mom. JEREMY DAINES AND ENRIQUE RODRIGUEZ, THE NATION OF INNOVATION!
With that, "King's And Queens" begins to blare out and the fans' cheers turn to boos within moments. The four people, Daines, Rodriguez, TONY and his mom step out through the curtain and slowly make their way to the ring, trying to rile up the fans along the way.
BILL HEWSON: The former tag champs have to be looking for revenge after that heinous attack against the WGA last week.
JACK JONES: That's just the Nation of Innovation's way of stamping their authority on the tag division, Hewson. And what better way to start your career than a victory over former tag champs!
Daines and Rodriguez roll into the ring -- and make a beeline for their opponents! Morgan Smythe calls for the bell as Mystic Exposition are caught by surprise! Daines has The Expositioner against the ropes, hammering away with some forearm shots to the face as Rodriguez has the smaller, Mystic Ninja in the corner. He's stomping away at the midsection, forcing Ninja down to a seated position -- but The Expositioner has blocked a forearm shot! He counters with a boot to the gut, doubling Daines over before connecting with an uppercut. Jeremy Daines is reeling, staggering backwards as he gets caught by a dropkick - sending him through the ropes and to the outside! He falls up towards the aisle as TONY and his mom rush to the aide of their comrade. Meanwhile, The Expositioner turns his attention back to the ring -- AND RODRIGUEZ WITH A CACTUS CLOTHESLINE! He takes both himself and The Expositioner over the top rope as they join the pile of bodies accumulating in the aisle...
BILL HEWSON: Ninja's up in the ring!
JACK JONES: Oh, God no!
Mystic Ninja runs across the ring -- SHURIKEN PRESS! And he takes out the members of Nation of Innovation, TONY, his mom and The Expositioner as well! Everybody's down on the outside as Morgan Smythe stands at the ropes surveying the scene before starting the count out. She even gets up to three before Mystic Ninja rolls back into the ring, soon followed by the other three competitors.
Ninja and Rodriguez seem to the legal men to start this match, as Rodriguez is backed against the ropes. An Irish whip sends him across the ring, bouncing back to be met by a spinning heel kick! Followed by a double knee drop to the chest and Ninja goes for the early cover.
ONE!
TWO!
THNOO!
BILL HEWSON: A needless save by Jeremy Daines there, but that was a heavy boot to the back of Ninja's head.
Indeed it was. Mystic Ninja is staggering as he tries to stand back up, but Rodriguez is waiting for him with a back suplex! And he tags out to Daines, before the two members of NoI stomp away at the prone Mystic Ninja until Morgan Smythe orders Enrique out of the ring. Daines lifts his opponent back to his feet as he hooks him in place for the abdominal stretch. In the center of the ring! Smythe goes to check for a submission, but Ninja won't budge - even with Daines dropping rights to the exposed side. eventually, Daines releases the hold, but keeps Ninja within reach as he drives a knee to the midsection, doubling the smaller man over. POWERBOMB--NO!
BILL HEWSON: Mystic Ninja dropping down the back to escape the powerbomb!
JACK JONES: Damn that agile little ninja.
KABUKI KICK by Mystic Ninja! But it sends his opponent into his own corner, allowing Rodriguez to tag himself in! Mystic Ninja, still feeling that boot to the head, is reaching out for the tag, with Rodriguez charging across the ring -- IN COMES THE EXPOSITIONER! The tag was made, and Rodriguez stops in his tracks! "X-POUND!" The crowd chant along as The Expositoner hammers away...
"ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE!"
And he stops, getting back to his feet in time to see Daines charging across the ring -- EXPO DUCKS THE LARIAT! And he counters, going behind for the X-PLEX!
BILL HEWSON: The Expositioner standing tall!
The crowd are on their feet, cheering as The Expositioner lifts Rodriguez back to his feet. He's hooked his arm as he lifts his smaller opponent up for the suplex -- CHOPBLOCK BY DAINES! It takes Expo down, with Rodriguez dropping on top of him for the pin attempt.
ONE!
TWO!
KICK-OUT!
And Morgan Smythe admonishes Jeremy Daines, ordering him out of the ring as Rodriguez picks himself up. He goes to where the Expositioner is using the ropes to get back up. He connects with a disguised kidney punch before going for an Irish whip -- FLYING SHOULDER TACKLE BY EXPO! It knocks Rodriguez off his feet, but both men scramble back to their feet. Enrique goes for the right hook, only to find it blocked! And Expo counters with a right hook of his own! The crowd are on their feet as Rodriguez is being caught by a series of lefts and rights, forcing him back into the opposing corner. Mystic Ninja gets the tag in before he runs across the apron, climbing up the turnbuckle. Rodriguez is still in the corner as Ninja walks across the top rope - SHADOW MISSILE CONNECTS! Enrique falls to the mat as Ninja goes for the cover!
ONE!
TWO!
THRNOOO!
Daines making the save! Morgan Smythe orders him out of the ring, but she spots Mystic Ninja making the tag back out as The Expositioner comes back in--
BILL HEWSON: TONY? What's he doing up on the apron?
JACK JONES: Saving the day, Hewson.
TONY is on the apron, waving his picket sign and shouting at The Expositioner, who turns his attention towards the annoying little twerp -- RODRIGUEZ FROM BEHIND -- NO! EXPOSITIONER DUCKS!
JACK JONES: NOOO!
But Rodriguez stops short of hitting TONY with that forearm smash -- DROPKICK BY THE EXPOSITIONER! And Rodriguez bumps into TONY, sending his manager flying off the apron and onto his mom...
BILL HEWSON: Oh my God!
JACK JONES: Eww!
...landing face first in his ample bosom. Daines charges into the ring, trying to catch The Expositioner unaware, but he's cut off by a missile dropkick, courtesy of Mystic Ninja that sends him tumbling out of the ring! Rodriguez is struggling to get back up after knocking heads with TONY a moment ago - and The Expositioner POINTS TO THE TURNBUCKLES! The crowd explode in cheers as both members of Mystic Exposition climb opposite turnbuckles ... waiting for Enrique Rodriguez to stand up.
"EXTERMINATE!"
JACK JONES: Rodriguez just got nailed by that damn X-Terminator move!
BILL HEWSON: And The Expositioner hooks the, leg surely this one is over!
Morgan Smythe counts the cover!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of this match, MYSTIC EXPOSITION!
BILL HEWSON: The Nation of Innovation's first match didn't go quite how they wanted tonight. Your winners, and right back into Tag title contention, Mystic Exposition!
NoI retreat as Ninja and Expo mug for the fans in the ring.
FRANK WARBURTON: Vancouver fans, for our next match, the ring announcing will be done by the fan holding ticket #281... ticket #281, where are you...
A 20 year old looking fan comes up to the guard rail with a big grin on his face, wearing a stock "NAPW" t-shirt. He shows his ticket to security, who let him come over into the ring. His buddies cheer him on.
FRANK WARBURTON: What's your name, son?
KID: Johnny! Oh man this is awesome!
FRANK WARBURTON: Alright Johnny, just read the cards!
Frank steps to the side, ready to cover if the kid messes up. Jack holds the mic, looking nervous, and starts talking his best Michael Buffer impression. "The Seeker" by The Who starts up as the masked Modo WHOA! emerges from behind the curtain. Some fans cheer, just because he's going up against D!, but as he struts down to the ring, most people are saving their voices for Modo's opponent.
JOHNNY: Ladies and gentlemen, th-the next match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first... from Barrie, Ontario. Weighing in at one-hundred-and-eighty-nine pounds. MODO WHOA!
The boos start up.
"I'm as blue
I'm as blue as the ocean is true, it's just reflections of the sky
I'm as cold
I'm as cold as the stories you told but never sick enough to DIE"
JOHNNY: And his opponent-- From Edmonton, Alberta. Weighing in at two-hundred-and-thirteen pounds. He is a former three time NAPW Champion. This is DEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
And the most hated man in NAPW begins his walk to the ring, glaring at the members of the audience who hurl their abuse at him.
BILL HEWSON: We may have to be content in knowing that this may not be the prettiest wrestling match in recent memory.
D! has reached the ring, and has climbed in through the ropes as Anthony Uruburu orders both men to their corners. The bell sounds to start the match - and Modo WHOA! struts across the ring to try and get a cheer from the crowd!
JACK JONES: That poor man.
And he turns around into a roundhouse punch from D!, taking the masked man off his feet! Modo scrambles to get back to his feet, but in the end he's dragged up as D! sends his opponent against the ropes with an Irish whip--SPINEBUSTER BY D! That flattens the WHOA! Man, but D! assumes a mounted position astride his opponent's chest as he begins to wail away with some right hands.
BILL HEWSON: Things don't bode well for Modo WHOA! here, Jack Attack.
JACK JONES: He's against the man who made NAPW what it is, Hewson. Things were never looking great for that masked freak.
Uruburu has ordered a break to the mounted punches as D! drags Modo back to his feet once again. An Irish whip sends him towards the corner - and D! follows up with a running clothesline! Modo staggers forward, only to be thrown back against the turnbuckle as D! unleashes an onslaught of punches and kicks to the midsection, forcing his opponent down to the canvas. The fans are watching on in near horror as D! continues to decimate Modo WHOA!. The official once again orders a break as Modo grasps onto the ropes for dear life, using them to bring himself back to a vertical base. He staggers towards the center of the ring -- boot to the midsection from D! and a vertical suplex to follow. he floats over for the cover.
ONE!
TWO!
THRENOOO! D! pulls his opponent's shoulder up!
BILL HEWSON: Modo WHOA! wasn't going to kick out...
D! stands over his prone foe, as Modo gets to all fours -- BASEMENT DROPKICK TO THE FACE! And Modo crumples to the mat once more. And now, the former NAPW champion grabs Modo around the head, yanking him back to his feet as he places him in a sleeper hold...
BILL HEWSON: We know what's coming next, Jack Attack.
JACK JONES: Sweet relief for Modo WHOA!.
NYQUIL SPIKE! D! nails it, and he covers Modo WHOA! with a forearm across the masked face as Uruburu counts.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
BILL HEWSON: That didn't take long.
JACK JONES: No underdog stories tonight!
Johnny takes the microphone again.
JOHNNY: And your winner...
Johnny stops abruptly...
puts up his middle finger and makes an exclamation.
Johnny pulls off his shirt to reveal the TD Street Team shirt. D! looks furious, and then TRENT DANIELS comes out of the crowd! Daniels stands on top of the announce table, where he is elevated enough to stand out from the crowd and claps mockingly, congratulating D! on his "great" win!
D! is furious, but Trent isn't done. He points to one side of the crowd and gets them to chant "DEEEEEEE"...
Points to other side and has them chant "SUUUUUUCKS".
Trent then holds up a middle finger to D! and it spreads like a wild fire throughout the crowd as everyone is standing with their middle finger in the air saluting D! by drawing an exclamation. Trent then leaves through the crowd to chants of his name leaving D! looking dumbfounded!
L'Arc-en-ciel plays as the fans cheer for Dez Carter, making his way to the ring with Asuka Katsugari. Dez high fives people in the crowd.
FRANK WARBURTON: This is a tag team match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, weighing in at two hundred and forty four pounds! From Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, this is DEZ CARTER!
BILL HEWSON: Last week at Tagstravaganza, this man went the distance, going through three teams along with his new partner, Ravager!
JACK JONES: They didn't get the job done, though, did they, Hewson? Sure, they beat three teams, but when those teams are Big Mitch and Joey Malone, the Calgary Connection, and Grade A Alberta Attitude, I'm not sure what sort of bragging rights you can get out of that.
Dez Carter slides into the ring, and patiently waits. And then, we hear cellos.
The crowd goes nuts!
FRANK WARBURTON: And his partner! Weighing in at two hundred and ten pounds, from Brooklyn, New York! RAVAGER!
BILL HEWSON: He's been Provincial Champion! He's been the NAPW Champion! 2007's King of Hardcore! And what he wants now is a chance to claim the triple crown!
Ravager enters through the curtains, hair slicked back and an intense expression on his face. As he walks to the ring, he adjusts his elbow pads.
JACK JONES: Well, he's going to have to face off against another team that was also very dominant last week, and quite frankly, Hewson, I don't like his chances.
Ravager enters the ring and shakes Dez's hand, as Morgan Smythe gets herself ready for the match.
"YOU CAN'T WHOOP ME!"
The cheers for Ravager and Dez turn to boos very easily as Prince W. Darko and his bodyguard walk out.
FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponents! Weighing in at a combined five hundred and thirty-seven pounds! Representing the Kingdom of Zamunda! PRINCE DARKO! And KEVIN BONDSWORTH!
Darko is, of course, spewing trash talk at a mile a minute. KBOND just walks behind him, sizing up his opponents as he climbs over the top rope. Darko gets right into the face of Ravager, telling him how he couldn't even dream of whooping him. Ravager is losing his patience, and WHAMMO! An elbow to the face and Smythe calls for the bell, herding KBOND over to his corner as Carter exits the ring himself. Ravager CHOPS Darko, and Darko reels in pain. A loud WHOO! from the audience. Though there are tears in the eyes of Darko, he asks "Is that all you got? Can't whoop OW!" Another loud crack as Ravager's hand slaps the chest of Darko.
Ravager wraps his arm around the waist of Darko, and it's a back body drop to lay Darko on the mat. He drops an elbow to the chest of his opponent, and tags in Dez Carter. Dez wastes no time and applies an inverted cravate crossface. Shades of Chris Hero, and the human body was just not meant to bend that way! Darko screams out in pain, and KBOND climbs through the ropes and kicks the back of Carter's head. Yeah, that'll break that hold, alright. Morgan Smythe is right there to corral Bondsworth back to his corner, but the damage has been done. Carter is holding his head in the middle of the ring, and Darko's trying to crawl somewhere, ANYWHERE! He's crawling back to his corner and weakly lifts the arm. KBOND slaps it. Bondsworth's the legal man!
JACK JONES: It's business time!
BILL HEWSON: Such an imposing figure! KBOND's a man who shouldn't be taken lightly!
JACK JONES: Over three hundred pounds! Six foot eight! I dare you to find a man in NAPW bigger than that!
BILL HEWSON: Krenshov.
JACK JONES: Pfft. Where's he been lately?
BILL HEWSON: Matthew Kurtis. The NAPW champion, Dan Ryan, is heavier and just an inch shorter. Jake Phoenix is taller, but a bit slimmer.
JACK JONES: What, have you got notes on these guys or something?
BILL HEWSON: Of course I do!
Meanwhile, as Bill and Jack bicker, KBOND grabs the head of Dez Carter, pulling him off the mat. He applies one vicious bear hug, squeezing the ribs of Dez Carter and making the smaller man cry out in pain. After a few second, he THROWS Dez into the air with a belly-to-belly release suplex, right into the corner where Ravager's standing. Give him time, folks, he's new to wrestling. Ravager tags as Darko screams out, "No! KBOND! He's fresh!" Ravager comes in and sizes up the giant bodyguard. And then he unleashes a monster chop. WHOOO! KBOND looks down, and shakes his head. And Ravager with another chop! KBOND takes a step back, but that's it. He smiles, his white teeth breaking the darkness of his face. He takes a step back, and lets forth with a HUGE clothesline, flipping Ravager in the air before he lands on the mat. The crowd is impressed. "Oooooh!"
KBOND is about to grab him, but Darko calls out. "Tag me in, dog!" A tag is made to Prince Darko, who falls on Ravager like he's a jackal. Darko picks up Ravager, only to apply a clawhold to the face and sweep Ravager's legs, driving his back to the canvas. Ravager's been Laid Out! Darko scrambles for a cover. One! Tw- kickout by Ravager.
Darko tries for the Zamunda Yoke, but Ravager reaches up behind him and drops to his feet. Darko's jaw got jammed! As Darko wanders around, dazed, Ravager flies for his corner and tags in Dez. Dez stalks the prince, and hits a Dragon Suplex. Darko is down, and Dez covers for the pinfall. One! Two! T-kickout by Darko. Dez whips him to the ropes, but KBOND's there to make a blind tag. As Prince Darko slides under the ropes in gratitude, Dez steels himself for the man-mountain that is Kevin Bondsworth. And he unloads with chops! KBOND's taking it, although he doesn't seem too comfortable. KBOND grabs the neck of Carter and lifts him up. SPINEBUSTER! Ravager is in the ring, and he starts to pick up where Carter left off, peppering the chest of KBOND with hard chops. The crowd ooohs, but KBOND takes it, and unloads with an axehandle. Carter and Ravager look at each other, stand up, and take turns. ChopchopchopchopchopchopchopchopchopchopCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOP!
JACK JONES: Why is the ref allowing this?
BILL HEWSON: KBOND won't let her near the team of Ravager and Carter.
The crowd is at a frenzy, and KBOND looks severely inconvenienced and even a bit in pain, but that's about it. Double clothesline puts them down, and Ravager rolls under the ropes to get back to his corner. KBOND slams Dez down and Darko begs for the tag. He gets in and says I SHOW YOU CHOPS, DOG! Darko chops Dez.
Uh oh.
Dez chops Darko! HARD! More chops! CHOPPY CHOP CHOP CHOP! Darko flails around the ring, but too close to Ravager, who CHOPS HIM! Dez CHOP! Ravager CHOP! And Darko is yelling in pain with every chop! Darko finally drops down and exits the ring. He is trying to take a timeout, as he did last week, but again, they aren't being given. "YOU CAN'T CHOP ME!"
KBOND checks on his boss and Darko tells him he is gonna whoop them good. He re-enters the ring, and Dez with a drop kick that sends the Prince of Zamunda to the mat. Ravager is tagged back in. They pick up Darko, KBOND tries to enter the ring and Morgan stops him. DOUBLE VERTICAL SUPLEX... THEY HANG ON! ANOTHER ONE... THE CROWD IS GOING OFF!
JACK JONES: This double teaming has to end.
BILL HEWSON: If KBOND was more experienced, like Darko's old partner, then Darko might not be getting this beat up.
They get him close to the turnbuckle and... HIS CROTCHED... DOUBLE SUPERPLEX...
Ravager with the cover...
KBOND has Morgan's attention still. Ravager goes and gets her, Dez exits the ring. As soon as she goes down for the count.
KBOND WITH A LEGDROP!
Ravager gets thrown near Dez, who has to move to avoid being knocked down. Dez hits a tag, KBOND doesn't know it. Ravager and KBOND are going at it. Fist from KBOND knocks Ravager down, who quickly rises up. Morgan Smythe throws up her hands as she can't get control. Ravager nails KBOND who bounces off the ropes and comes back with another wicked shot that floors Ravager. Darko isn't moving much as Dez lays the boots to him. Dez sees KBOND and attempts a Clothesline to send the big man over.. no dice. RAVAGER FOLLOWS WITH A JUMPING BODY BLOCK, AND KBOND HITS THE FLOOR. Ravager hits hard too. Two men in the ring, two out on the floor, that's as good as getting order restored as we can get. Dez goes for a pin, DARKO WITH AN INSIDE CRADLE..
ONE!
TWO!
No dice.
JACK JONES: Great possum play right there.
Outside, Ravager and KBOND are rising up. KBOND is up gingerly to say the least. Ravager tries to whip KBOND into the railing, REVERSED! Ravager hits the steel hard. KBOND picks him up, Gorrilla press style, DROPPED ON THE RAILING, THROAT FIRST! Dez nails the rising Darko with a Spinning Wheel Kick. KBOND sees whatÕs going on. Darko gets up, as does Dez. Darko with a boot to the stomach. ZAMUNDA DRIVER... BLOCKED. Dez gets Darko in position KBOND IN THE RING --- GO TO SLEEP ATTEMPT FOILED WITH A BIG BOOT! Dez is picked up and SLAMMED HARD. Darko goes up top... CROSSBODY INTO KBOND... THE ZAMUNDA CRUSH!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of the contest, PRINCE DARKO AND KBOND!
The crowd boos big time. Darko and KBOND survived this match. Darko is in the face of Dez Carter... "YOUR PUNK ASS WILL NEVER WHOOP US! KBOND IS LIFE!
BILL HEWSON: Ravager is up, he's in the ring... LAST RESORT ON PRINCE W. DARKO!
JACK JONES: KBOND never saw Ravager enter! Ravager's lucky for that!
Darko rolls out of the ring. KBOND checks on his charge, rather than dismantling the greatest World Champ in NAPW history. KBOND helps Darko up. Ravager is shooting laser beams through the skull of KBOND. Darko is being held up by KBOND, and yells... "Y'ALL LOSS.. BITCHES. Kev, dawg, my neck hurts bad, THEY NEED TO RECOGNIZE I'M A PRINCE!
KBOND locks eyes with Ravager. This is nowhere near settled.
FRANK WARBURTON: The following is a mixed tag match! Introducing first...
"THE CONNECTION IS MADE!"
FRANK WARBURTON: Coming to the ring now, the team of Stone Zellor and Lady Sparks!
Stone walks out, leading his lady by the hand. The dastardly duo look out over the booing Vancouver crowd. Lady Sparks is wearing a gold two-piece wrestling outfit, classy, decidely UN-diva-ish. She looks like, you know, a wrestler. Stone holds the ropes open for her to enter the ring.
JACK JONES: These fans don't appreciate true talent, Bill Hewson.
BILL HEWSON: Frank really is good at his job, I agree.
JACK JONES: I'm talking about Stone and Lady Sparks!
Stone is yelling at some fans who are giving him hell as Lady Sparks looks haughty in the corner. Their music fades out, to be replaced by:
"BAD BOYS, BAD BOYS!
WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN THEY COME FOR YOU!"
FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponents, representing the WGA... the team of the Extreme Jobber champion "Bad Boy" Joey Malone and Mandy!
The fans pop as Joey comes out, leading Mandy! Her ring outfit is a little bit sexier than Mandy's, she's dressed in gym gear (think lululemon gear) and short wrestling boots. Joey is in his ugly, ugly singlet and the Extreme Jobber belt, which pretty much looks like somebody made it for 8.50 at Home Hardware. But his hair looks fresh and clean!
BILL HEWSON: To the best of my knowledge, Mandy has never been in a wrestling match. But she seems geared up to go in this one.
JACK JONES: Let me get this straight: Joey Malone has been teaching Mandy to wrestle?
BILL HEWSON: That's what I understand, yes.
JACK JONES: Does anybody ELSE see something wrong with this?
Joey holds the ropes open for Mandy. Referee John Sharplin is in charge of the contest, and he calls for the bell.
Malone and Stone start the match off, tie-up, Malone wins with a textbook side headlock. Stone shoves him off into the ropes, knocks him down with a shoulder block! Stone at a run, Malone dives on his belly, Stone runs over, Joey gets up and leapfrogs a charging Stone, Stone comes back... hip toss by Malone! Stone holds his back, surprised at Joey's wrestling ability. Joey grins and taps his head. "Malone Motto #62: Fundamentals are key!" Stone snarls and they tie up again, this time Stone cinches in the headlock. "You foo's want wrestlin'?" Joey counters out of the headlock into a hammerlock! And then BACK into the side headlock, takeover! Malone has Stone on the canvas and the crowd gives him a round of applause, Mandy clapping from the ring apron with a big smile on her face.
BILL HEWSON: I have to wonder, if perhaps training the WGA hasn't helped Joey become a better wrestler in his own right!
Stone forces his way back to a vertical base. Elbows to Joey's midsection, three get him free. Zellor boots Joey in the gut, twists in a wrist lock. Oh another boot to the ribs! And another. Vicious! Stone pushes Joey to the ropes and shoots him off, buries the knee into Joey's gut. He gets a cover, only one count. Stone claps his hands at Sharplin, "count proper ref!" He pulls Joey up by his newly luminous locks. "Watch the hair, Zellor!" Stone mouths off the ref, then pops Joey right in the jaw. Malone falls down, then Stone puts him over the bottom rope and starts choking him with it! Break at four, Stone gets a run and jumps on Joey's back with Malone still strung over the bottom rope. Geez. Joey slumps backwards and Stone leaps up, delivering a diving fist drop into Joey's face. Stone cinches Joey in with a front facelock and forces him into the heel corner, where Lady Sparks tags in?
BILL HEWSON: Lady Sparks wants in with Joey Malone? Now I don't want to be sexist, but Joye clearly outweighs her by over a hundred pounds!
JACK JONES: You're right, Hewson, women aren't as good as men!
BILL HEWSON: That's not what I meant...
Stone continues to hold Joey, and Lady Sparks takes the opportunity... to kick Joey right across the chest with a sick kick! Yikes. The referee tells Stone to get out, and Sparks rakes Joey's back. Okay. Joey winces, Sparks jumps on his back and tries to choke him down. Joey, however, easily carries Sparks' weight on him. Her expression turns to fear as Joey bends forward, dumping Sparks on her butt. The crowd rises... but Joey does the only thing he can do.
And tags in Mandy!
BILL HEWSON: Lady Sparks has said a number of nasty things about Mandy this week in promos, and Mandy wants some back!
Lady Sparks begs off, holding a hand up, as Mandy gets in. Hands at her sides, she kicks Lady Sparks in the face! She dives on top of Sparks, slapping her!
JACK JONES: CATFIGHT! CAAAAATFIIIIGHT!
Sparks rolls around, chocking Mandy, the ladies roll around the ring several times slapping and pulling hair until finally the referee pulls Mandy off of Sparks. "She's in the ropes!" Sparks gets up, Mandy shoves the referee around and she kicks Sparks in the gut. What's this?
Bulldog!
Mandy covers Sparks, one, two, STONE WITH A BOOT TO MANDY'S HEAD! Crowd boos that one.
BILL HEWSON: Stone just hit a woman!
JACK JONES: It's a mixed tag, Hewson. Mandy didn't want to get hurt, she shouldn't have agreed to wrestle!
Stone stares at the crowd, drawing incredible heat as Mandy holds her head. Joey tries to get in, the ref gets in his way. Lady Sparks grabs Mandy by the hands... and STANDS ON HER HAIR, PULLING UP! Mandy yowls in pain as Sharplin turns around and tells her to break. Sparks tells him to watch his mouth, then drops an elbow into Mandy's ample chest area. Cover, Mandy kicks out at two. She's still holding her head, but Lady Sparks grabs her by the hair and sends her FLYING with a swinging toss! What's this? Northern Lights Suplex! One! Two! Th---Mandy just gets out! She's showing some resilience, trying to get to Joey for a tag... Sparks grabs her by the hair and pulls her up. Mandy cries out in pain as Sparks shouts "You little whore!" Front facelock... wait a minute, Sparks pulls Mandy over and tags in STONE! Stone going to the top rope as Sparks suplexes Mandy to the canvas. Stone on the top rope, sneering out at the crowd...
DIVING HEADBUTT!
MANDY PULLS LADY SPARKS IN THE WAY!
BILL HEWSON: Mandy, somehow with presence of mind to change her situation! She has to tag out!
JACK JONES: She should be disqualified, causing Stone to hit Sparks like that! For shame!
BILL HEWSON: Mandy reaching for a tag, Stone trying to catch her... MANDY TAGS IN THE BAD BOY! MALONE IS A HOUSE OF FIRE!
Stone gets clotheslined down! He gets up, clotheslined again! Joey pulls up Stone up... EYE GOUGE!
MONSTER POP!
Joey kicks Stone in the gut, ROCKER DROPPER! To the 2nd turnbuckle! Joey yells out "YOU WANT THE BAD BOY, NOW YOU'VE GOT HIM!" FLYING FIST DROP! THE COVER!
ONE!
TWO!
Lady Sparks jumps on Joey! Again! She claws at his eyes... MANDY WITH A SPEAR! Sparks gets taken down! The girls are CATFIGHTING! Joey turns around --- PIMP SLAP FROM STONE! Joey gets taken down. Sharplin is trying to get the girls out of the ring, Stone gets in his face. Lady Sparks STOMPS Mandy... and low blows a rising Joey Malone! Sparks then knocks Mandy out of the ring! Sparks exits. A pained Joey is rising... Stone grabs him for the STONE'S THROW Fisherman Brainbuster! Joey sits up, eyes crossed, and Stone locks on Zellorification! Joey taps out!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here are your winners, Stone Zellor and Lady Sparks!
BILL HEWSON: The match is over, but Stone refuses to release the hold! You've won the match! Come on!
Lady Sparks is back in the ring, screaming at Malone. The bell keeps ringing. Finally Stone lets go, but he shoves the referee down. That'll cost him. Stone pulls a dazed, helpless Joey up... he lets go, only for Sparks to hit a jumping stunner on Malone! Joey is down and out. Mandy crawls in, holding her head, but crawls over Joey, concerned about him.
Lady Sparks and Stone celebrate to boos, the turn to leave.
BILL HEWSON: They deserve each other, they really do... hey, wait a minute. Just go, don't do it!
JACK JONES: Mandy should get out of that ring right now!
BILL HEWSON: Sparks and Stone have turned around, and Mandy realizes she's in the sights of two vicious predators. Oh no!
Mandy looks up, wide-eyed, Joey still out. Suddenly Sparks clotheslines her down with no remorse! Sparks is screaming at Mandy. Stone, smirking, holds Mandy up for Sparks to SLAP her across the face, hard. Oh my goodness! And now Lady Sparks pulls Mandy up, holding her arms behind her back. She's yelling at Stone to give it to her! Stone holds up his hand, shines it up nice...
BILL HEWSON: Don't do it Stone! Don't do it! ---
The boos suddenly turn... to SCREAMING CHEERS!
THE BEAST!
AND!
BILL HEWSON: WHITE CHOCOLATE!!!
RICHARDS AND ~WHITE CHOCOLATE~ hit the ring! Sparks drops Mandy, Stone runs at The Beast and GETS LARIATED OUT OF HIS BOOTS! Macintyre CLIPS SPARKS WITH A FLYING BIG BOOT! WHAMMO! Stone and Sparks roll out of the ring and regroup on the floor as the crowd chants "BEAST IS GONNA KILL YOU... BEAST IS GONNA KILL YOU..."
Tiffany goes to Mandy and checks on her, helping her to her feet. Joey is finally stirring as The Beast never takes his eyes from Stone and Lady Sparks, hissing in the aisle. Richards asks for a microphone.
THE BEAST: Actually, fans, if anybody's going to be doing the killing, it'll be WHITE CHOCOLATE!
Tiffany threatens a dive to the outside, Sparks and Stone skitter backwards.
THE BEAST: We couldn't help but come out after watching you two cheat and scheme your way to a win over --- I can't believe I'm saying this --- a good wrestler like Joey Malone, and a nice girl like Mandy. Stone, you know I want another piece of you, but NOW it's not just me you have to deal with! You have to deal with ---
~WHITE CHOCOLATE~!
Beast gives the mic to Tiffany, then helps Joey up. White Chocolate looks out on the deadly duo!
WHITE CHOCOLATE: Lady Sparks, and I use the word "lady" loosely (oooooh)... if you two want The Beast and some WHITE CHOCOLATE so bad, then let's do it! Mixed tag at the 150th Show!
Stone looks around, yelling for another microphone. He hands it to a snarling Sparks.
LADY SPARKS: That's the second time you've gotten into our business! You want a match, you've got it, BITCH!
OOOOOOOOH! Tiff almost dives out of the ring but Bruce holds her in. Stone and Sparks talk trash and exit. Bruce and Tiff hold up Joey and Mandy's arms and the crowd pops!
FRANK WARBURTON: This match is scheduled for one fall and is a Heritage title match and World Title Number One Contender's Match Qualifier. Introducing first... Weighing in at three-hundred-fifteen pounds, and at height of six feet, eleven inches. From Wickliffe, Kentucky... "BLUEGRASS BADASS" MAAAATTHEW KURRRRRTIS!
Matthew walks through the curtains, down the ramp and past the boos while "Seek and Destroy" blares through arena. Matt enters the ring and looks dead at the ramp way, awaiting his opponent. Conspicuous by her absence, one Lyndsey Valentine.
FRANK WARBURTON:From Fort Lauderdale, Florida. At a weight of Two-Hundred-Eighty-Nine pounds and standing at a Six feet, nine inches tall. Your Heritage Champion....
"SURPRISE! YOU'RE DEAD!"
FRANK WARBURTON: JAAAAKE PHOENIIIIX!
Jake explodes through the curtains with a stale face, glaring at the ring. He walks past the booing fans and makes his way into the ring, he hands his title to the ref, who then raises it up, center ring. Jake burns stares a hole in Matt's face, who does the same.
DING! DING! DING!
For the first time ever, Matthew Kurtis and Jake Phoenix lock up in a singles match, center ring in front of hungry wrestling fans. They test their strength -- a very even battle; both men need an opening in this, and Matthew takes it -- boot to Jake's knee that sends causes him to kneel for a big boot from Matthew. He starts to stomp the big man on the floor, he picks him up, sends him into the corner, follows him, BIG BODY SPLASH...no one's home. Matthew goes straight into the corner, stumbles away from the padding and into Jake who Russian Leg Sweeps the Kentucky native into the mat, with FORCE! that causes the mat to shake and thunder all the way to the end of arena. The thunder's loud enough to drown out the excited fans' -- excitement?... Jake brings Matt to his feet and sends him into the corner, there, Jake begins to beat Matt with repeated punches: jaw shots, rib shots, stomach shots, uppercuts; the works. He then sends Matt hurling into the other corner, there he goes for a body splash of his own, Matt catches Jake, mid air, then Spinebusters him down into the mat, making sure to do it with nothing less than pure strength. Matt stomps on Jake's knee.
JACK JONES: Smart tactic right here, Jake needs his legs to deliver that Tombstone Piledriver.
Matt brings Jake's leg over to the rope, he places it on the second rope, Matt stands on the bottom rope, jumps, and lands butt first on Jake's right knee. Matt repeats this cycle three times, then brings drags his body to the ring post. After placing Jake in position, Matt slides out of the ring, grabs hold of Jake's knee, and SLAMS it into the post, with no regards. Jake screams out in pain, and begins to battle back with his left leg, kicking Matt away, it works. Jake removes himself from the post and attends to his damaged knee. He gets up, and begins to limp.
BILL HEWSON: Look at that, he's feeling the effects!
JACK JONES: Oh really?!
Matt, finally in the ring, goes after Jake with intentions of a clothesline, Jake ducks and spears Matt to the ground, he starts to pound away on Matt's forehead, softening the flesh into mush. Jake, on his feet, stalks Matt, with intent of complete pain, he starts to grin. Matt is on his feet. He comes at Phoenix... but Jake pulls Kiebiech in the way! SQUASH!
BILL HEWSON: Kiebiech just got wiped out!
Dick collapses center ring. Jake looks down at his right, he shrugs it off and nurses his knee for a little, then returns his sights to Matt, who's releasing a turnbuckle pad, the top one. Referee Anthony Uruburu! rushes into the ring and takes a look at Matt's actions, he tells him to back away from the corner. Upon exiting the corner, he walks into a Big Boot that lays him out. Jake brings Matt to his feet, to bring him back down to the mat head-first courtesy of a DDT. Jake covers.
ONE.
TWO.
KICKOUT!
Jake gets up, starts to nurse his knee again. Unbeknownst to Jake, Matt is back to his feet, they rush at each other ... DOUBLE LARIAT! they lay each other out. Uruburu! begins to count.
ONE
TWO
THREE
FOUR. Both men start to struggle to get up.
FIVE. Matt on his knees.
SIX. Jake on his knee, left knee.
SEVEN. Both men are up.
Matt kicks Jake in the midsection, and goes for a Blue Grass Bomb, the crowd goes wild. Jake reverses with a big back body drop that sends Matt onto the canvas and Jake down to one knee. Jake limps over Matt and starts to grind his forearm over on Matt's forehead. Matt starts to kick, scream, squirms to get out, his wish is granted, Jake ends his forearm grind and begins to send punches to Matt's forehead. Jake quits his fist flinging and gets back onto his feet, and goes to stalk Matt again.
BILL HEWSON: Close to a double count-out from Referee Uruburu, but each man is up. This is a total war!
Matt on his now on his feet, grabs Jake by the throat, who grabs him by the throat, both men with aspirations to choke slam. The crowd blows up. Both men let their hold go before returning back to combat with a tie up like at the start of the match. This time Jake locks in a headlock, Matt picks him up with a back drop, crushing him into the mat, leaving Jake folded. Matt moves over to Jake and locks in a Single Leg Boston crab on his right leg, and instantaneously, pain rushes through Jake's nerves, causing him to shoot up, scream, shake his head, scheme to make his way to the ropes. Which he successfully does after going through hell, but Matt doesn't loosen his grip until Uruburu! makes his way to 4, cause Matt's no fool! Matt backs away, giving Jake time to get up, he rushes back in once Jake is on his feet, Jake grabs hold of Matt's neck, he begins to choke him, blatant choke, Uruburu! tells him to free the grip. Jake tosses Matt, then delivers a Haymaker to Uruburu! The fans boo this move.
JACK JONES: You just DON'T attack Uruburu!
BILL HEWSON: A big no-no!
Jake laughs it off and returns to work on Matt, who is trying to regain his breath, Jake disapproves and returns choking Jake, this time with his foot. Jake begins to use the ropes to cause more destruction to Matt's throat. Now Referee John Sharplin rushes into the ring, and begins to bark orders at Jake, telling him to release the choke. Jake lets go, backs up, then returns with a boot to Matt's head. Matt's head bobbles from the blow. Matt, now on his feet, rushes towards Jake with a Big Boot, Jake ducks, Matt continues running, bounces off the ropes and into a short arm clothesline that levels him. Jake bring Matt to his feet, and plots for a Tombstone...
but his leg gives out on him. Sharplin makes his way over to Jake, while Matt loosens the padding from the turnbuckle. He tosses the padding out of the ring and brings Jake to his feet and drags him to the corner, and starts to rub his head on the exposed medal, trying to rip away Jake's flesh. Sharplin takes heated notice and barks at Matt, the same Uruburu! barked at Jake and receives the same outcome, a punch to the temple, laying him out.
BILL HEWSON: Will you look at that? Three refs, all causalities.
JACK JONES: Then they should've never got involved in this war.
Jake shoves his thumb into Matt's right eye, then chops Matt's chest red. He then whips Matt, Matt returns into a powerful powerslam. Jake covers. No ref to count. He gets up, he moves over to Dick Kiebiech, out, asleep. He shakes him, nothing. Does the same to Uruburu!, same outcome. He moves over to Sharplin, same thing.
BILL HEWSON: You gotta love the irony.
Jake turns around and walks into a chokeslam from Matt. The crowd goes nuts. Matt starts to shake the refs, nothing, they're all out. He looks to his left and grows a smile, Morgan Smythe rushes down the ramp and into the ring. She calls for the bell, a move that sends confusion throughout. She talks to Frank Warburton.
FRANK WARBURTON: At a ruling from referee Morgan Smythe, this match has been ruled a NO-CONTEST due to the constant assault on the officials! This match is a DRAW! ... Therefore Jake Phoenix retains his Heritage title.
This angers the crowd, and Matthew the most. Jake, however, grins.
BILL HEWSON: I can't blame Morgan Smythe from making that call, there are going to be fines levied against both Matt Kurtis and Jake Phoenix... but what does this mean for the number one contender's match?
JACK JONES: Krusty Kid Paul is the #1 contender to the world title?
BILL HEWSON: I --- that very well may be, I don't know! These fans don't like the decision, but Morgan Smythe made the right call. It's a good thing it's intermission time, because these referees are going to need some attention!
Phoenix is out of here with his title belt.. Matt is pissed off at ringside as trainers come out to help the referees to the back.
-INTERMISSION-
BILL HEWSON: So I paid my for the damages, and the bar owner couldn't have been more understanding.
JACK JONES: You sicken me.
"Southern Hospitality" plays, bringing the challengers to the ring, and boos from the crowd.
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the NAPW Tag Team Titles! Making their way to the ring are the challengers! At a total combined weight of four hundred and forty five pounds: "HARD HITTIN" HANK HENDERSON! "THE DYNASTY" DAN MILLER! They are the 2008 Tagstravaganza winners: SOUTHERN DESTRUCTION!!
Miller and Henderson manage to ignore the boos of the crowd, instead focusing on their opponents, the unlikely NAPW Tag team champions.
SCIENCE
FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponents! First, from Parts Unknown, weighing in at one hundred and eighty pounds: STEIN! And his partner, from Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, weighing two hundred and four pounds: CHRIS KAMIKAZE! They are YOUR NAPW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!
Kamikaze looks happy to have a title belt around his waist. Stein awkwardly interacts with the fans as he makes his way to the ring. They get in the ring, and come face to face with their opponents, who are raring' to go. Henderson tries to intimidate the stoic Stein as referee Dick Kiebiech tries to get between both teams. Stein immediately returns to his corner, while Henderson and Miller are a bit more reluctant to comply.
Kamikaze looks to start things out for his team, and gets a stiff slap from Henderson as the bell rings. Kamikaze stumbles back, then lunges forward with a flurry of chops to Henderson's chest, followed by a standing dropkick! Henderson is knocked on his butt, while Kamikaze quickly tries to hit a diving European Uppercut! Henderson ducks, Kamikaze hits the mat, and Miller slingshots himself into the ring and crashes onto Kamikaze! Referee Kiebiech is quick to usher the illegal man out of the ring, but the damage is done.
JACK JONES: Southern Destruction are something Stein and Kamikaze will never be --- an actual TEAM. I mean, seriously, what kind of rapport can a freakazoid and an unemployable stuntman have?
BILL HEWSON: Enough to get the tag team titles, Jack Attack, and that's all that matters.
JACK JONES: Feh.
Henderson covers Kamikaze, but only gets a two count. He hauls Kamikaze up, then drops him with a DDT! He goes for another cover! One.. two... Kamikaze gets a shoulder up! Henderson drags Kamikaze to his feet, then whips him to the corner, where Dan Miller can be tagged in. Henderson holds Kamikaze, allowing Miller to go the top rope, then come off with a double axe handle to the head of the tag champ! Kamikaze is down, and Miller goes for a quick cover! One, two, Kamikaze with a foot on the bottom rope!
JACK JONES: As much as I don't respect the guy, that was a smart move. If they're going to go for so many pin attempts so soon, why waste your energy kicking out of them? The ropes are there, use em!
Miller stalks a rising Kamikaze, then goes for a hard kick to the head... Kamikaze ducks it, and he rolls to his corner! Tag to Stein! And Stein is in, Miller goes for a dropkick! Stein barely moves! Miller with another dropkick! Stein stumbles a bit, but does not go down! Miller goes for a third dropkick... but Stein simply walks out of the way, and rigidly raises his arm in the air to salute the crowd. Miller pounds the mat in frustration, and tags in Henderson, who catches Stein with a big boot to the face, followed by a huge vertical suplex! Stein dropped on the mat, Henderson is back up in a flash... And Stein sits up. Henderson kicks Stein in the back, but Stein keeps rising. Henderson hits the ropes and comes back with a hard forearm, knocking Stein to the ropes, but not off his feet! Henderson goes back to the ropes, and comes charging back...
And gets stopped dead in his tracks. Stein holds his hand up, signaling "STOP". Henderson looks confused for a second, until Stein turns his hand around and makes the "Just Bring It" gesture. This draws a pop from the fans, and the ire of Henderson, who hauls off and punches Stein in the face! Stein barely flinches, grabs Henderson's arm, and hauls him up for a huge Samoan Drop! Stein goes for a cover! One.. two.. Henderson kicks out! Stein is back up, and makes the tag to Kamikaze...
who goes to the top rope.
BILL HEWSON: This never ends well!
JACK JONES: Are you kidding? It always ends awesome. For me, at least. Kamikaze ...probably... doesn't enjoy it.
Half the front row is desperately waving "NO" to CK, but Stein holds Henderson for his partner. Kiebiech admonishes Stein, who reminds Kiebiech that "He has until FIVE, referee!". Kamikaze with a moonsault! He gets beautiful height, but he doesn't push out, so he winds up crashing back down on the top turnbuckle. Stein goes back to the corner and tries to tag in legally, but Henderson manages to pull Kamikaze away from the ropes, and back to Southern Destruction's corner, where Miller tags in. Miller springboards himself into the ring, and takes Kamikaze down with a flying clothesline! He covers, but only gets a two count!
JACK JONES: I'd tell Kamikaze to stick to mat wrestling, but I don't think even that would help him!
Miller sits Kamikaze up, then nails a stiff kick to the back, followed by a stiff kick to the chest. Miller finishes it off with a low dropkick, right to Kamikaze's temple, then quickly covers! ONE! TWO! Kamikaze kicks out! Miller gets frustrated, and tags in Henderson, who hauls Kamikaze up, and whips him to the ropes, catching him with a nasty spinebuster that nearly takes him through the mat! Henderson with a cover! One.. two.. Kamikaze gets a shoulder up! Henderson argues that one with the referee, allowing Kamikaze to crawl to his corner. Just when it seems Kamikaze will make the tag, Henderson grabs his foot and hauls him back... Kamikaze with a small package!
ONE!
TWO! Henderson kicks out! he's back up and goes for a lariat! Kamikaze ducks, and catches him with a backslide! One.. two.. Henderson kicks out! he lunges at Kamikaze, who catches him with a spinning crescent kick, then scores and Oklahoma roll! One.. two... Henderson kicks out! Kamikaze hits the ropes, going for a springboard cross body.. but winds up getting tangled up in the top and middle ropes. Henderson is there to lay in with stiff forearms, while Kiebiech tries to get Kamikaze untangled. Finally Kamikaze is free, unfortunately that means Henderson can hit him with a brainbuster! he goes for a cover!
ONE!!
TWO!!
THREENO KAMIKAZE WITH HIS FOOT ON THE BOTTOM ROPE!
BILL HEWSON: Kamikaze fighting to stay champion with all his might!
JACK JONES: Of course he is! Who knows if he'll ever hold a belt again?
Kamikaze is trying in vain to get to his corner. Henderson grabs Kamikaze by the leg and hauls him back to his corner, where he tags in Miller. Miller goes to the top rope, looking to come off with the Jacksonville Jam...
Kamikaze kicks Henderson in the back of the leg, then boots him into the turnbuckles, causing Miller to crotch himself! Miller is in pain, Henderson is trying to apologize to his partner, and Kamikaze is making the long crawl over to Stein, who has his hand outstretched! Miller flops down to the mat, and tags in Henderson, who makes a dive to cut Kamikaze off from his partner ---
But he's too late!
Stein is tagged in and the fans go nuts! Henderson charges over, and is met with a flapjack! Miller charges... Stein catches him by the throat and Choke tosses him into the corner! Henderson from behind... LOW BLOW ON STEIN! Kiebiech missed it. Stein ... turns to Henderson, who is looking for some kind of reaction..
PIMP SLAP.
JACK JONES: So, wait. Now STEIN has balls of steel?
BILL HEWSON: Does it really shock you?
JACK JONES: I don't know why anything still does.
Henderson knocked to the ropes, and somewhere Stone Zellor is gritting his teeth - probably the same place Human Tornado is. Just saying. Anyways, Stein with a throat chop to Henderson, who is reeling on the ropes. Miller has recovered a bit, and jumps on Stein's back, going for a sleeper. Stein casually flips Miller over...
Kiebiech gets caught by Miller's boot as he's sent over! Kiebiech is down!
JACK JONES: The glass jaw of Dick Kiebiech comes into play again! But who will be hurt the most by this?
Henderson catches Stein with an eye gouge, which slows him down. Miller slides out of the ring, and goes to grab two chairs. He slides one into the ring, but someone has a hold of the second one... He turns to see who has it!
BILL HEWSON: The Expositioner is at ringside, and he's not letting Miller have that chair!
Henderson turns to see what the commotion is, allowing MYSTIC NINJA to run in from the opposite side and grab the other chair, and quickly run back out. Henderson turns around, expecting to find a weapon, and instead finds the blank stare of Stein. Stein with clubbing blow to the head of Henderson, then slaps on SMOTHERED IN KETCHUP! Henderson fighting madly to break the hold, but Stein has it tightly gripped! Miller has been jawing with Expositioner, who helpfully reminds him that "Arguing during a match rarely works in your favor". Kamikaze to the top rope, preparing to dive out onto Miller. he's wobbly, trying to regain some balance... Henderson is still flailing, drives Stein into the ropes...
Kamikaze knocked off the top turnbuckle...
And into the air with a picture perfect 450 Splash onto Miller! Stein still has Smothered in Ketchup locked onto Henderson, who is fading fast! Kiebiech is back up, and he goes to check on the condition of Henderson. He raises the arm. It drops Once!
Twice!
Three times! Kiebiech calls for the bell!
FRANK WARBURTON: here are your winners, and STILL NAPW Tag team champions! Chris Kamikaze and Stein!
Stein helps Kamikaze back into the ring, and they both hold their titles high above their heads for the fans to see...
BILL HEWSON: What are they doing here?
NATION OF INNOVATION ARE IN! Jeremy Daines and Enrique Rodriguez attacking the tag champs! TONY is out as well as TONY's Mom! Mystic Exposition race into help! Henderson is back up, and he grabs the first person he sees! TONY's Mom! Wait, Stein makes the save?
JACK JONES: The hell?
Dan Miller is back in, and he trades blows with Mystic Ninja! Expositioner manages to fight off Daines, then turns and sees TONY's Mom racing at him... She hits him with a Lou Thesz press! Expositioner manages to stay upright... TONY's Mom wraps her legs around Expo's waist and sticks his head between... well. Expositioner's arms can be seen flailing from either side of her as he tries to breathe!
BILL HEWSON: That may be the most disturbing thing I have ever seen.
JACK JONES: Agreed. ... Think I can go next?
Mystic Ninja comes to his partner's aid, TONY trying to help his mom. Rodriguez in as well.. and now Stein is in! He grabs Ninja by the throat, and tosses him over the top rope to the floor! Daines gets the same treatment! As does Rodriguez! Expositioner is finally freed, only to be tossed by Stein as well! Henderson gets dropkicked to the floor by Kamikaze, who then sees the huddled mass of wrestlers, who just deem to be waiting for someone to dive off on them. Kamikaze goes to the top rope, but his balance seems to be off again. he weaves a bit... and then Stein comes over and gives him a push.
KAMIKAZE WITH A SHOOTING STAR PRESS ONTO EVERYONE!!
Everyone on the floor is down and out. TONY's Mom rolls out of the ring, with Stein in pursuit? TONY looks on, slightly troubled... but not as troubled as he's going to be...
BILL HEWSON: Everyone forgot about Miller! He's got a...
Chair.
CLANG
TONY fall down go boom.
Miller throws the chair down, then grabs TONY, saying "THIS ONE'S FOR YOU, CHAD KURTIS!" He hooks poor TONY up...
BILL HEWSON: CK FINALE! CK FINALE! OH MY GOD! Miller using Chad Kurtis' patented maneuver!
TONY quivers in the ring. Everybody is laid out on the floor, only Dan Miller stands tall, mocking the injured Chad Kurtis. Holy hell the tag division is heating up!
FRANK WARBURTON: The following is a triple threat match scheduled for one fall. The winner will receive a shot at the NAPW Heritage Championship!
The fans cheer in approval as traditional Japanese music begins to play.
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first, from Kyoto Japan... King Koji!
Koji walks out looking very focused as he walks to the ring.
BILL HEWSON: We haven't heard anything from Koji this week Jack. Think he was in deep training?
JACK JONES: He was devising brutal methods of destroying his opponents. That, or getting toasted. Nicely toasted.
BILL HEWSON: That remains to be seen. He has some great competition who won't just sit around for him to attack though.
Koji is in the rings as his music is replaced by "Look Out Below."
FRANK WARBURTON: Next... from Parts Unknown, British Columbia... he is "The Falcon" Jacob Venar!
Venar walks out looking ready to tear someone apart. The fans are cheering and he acknowledges them with a nod before entering the ring.
BILL HEWSON: Jacob Venar and Trent Daniels had quite the war of words this week. It will be interesting to see how these former partners wrestle this match.
JACK JONES: I hope we see a lot of blood and maybe even a missing limb.
BILL HEWSON: Now Jack, we aren't Rebel.
FRANK WARBURTON: And finally, hailing from the Nation's capital, Ottawa Ontario... Trent Daniels!
"Too Much, To Fast, To Young" cues up and the fans immediately stand to their feet. Daniels walks out and down the ramp slapping hands with the fans who are eager to touch this rising superstar, especially his Street Team.
BILL HEWSON: Daniels is very popular amung the NAPW faithful.
JACK JONES: I can't see why. What's so special about him? Just some punk kid who thinks he's funny! Ask D! if he thinks Daniels is funny. Ask him.
BILL HEWSON: I'll stay here, thanks.
JACK JONES: ASK HIM.
All three men are in the ring and Morgan Smythe calls for the bell. Daniels and Venar look to take Koji out of the equation as they both charge towards him. Koji with the double Irish whip... Both men come off the ropes and smack him with a double dropkick that sends him to the floor.
BILL HEWSON: King Koji sent hard to the outside. It looks like Daniels and Venar want to do this one on one.
JACK JONES: They both look ready for a war.
The two men lock up and violently struggle for the advantage. Daniels forces Venar to the ropes and breaks clean. Lock up again with Venar getting the better of Trent this time. Smythe asking for the break and Venar looks ready to comply. He lets go only to send a hard slap right to Trent's face!
BILL HEWSON: The Falcon means business tonight. I think that shot woke up Daniels.
Daniels responds by cracking Venar in the jaw with a nice spinkick. He hits a side suplex and locks Jacob in a chinlock.
BILL HEWSON: Daniels knows how much The Falcon likes to take to the air. He's trying to slow him down with this submission.
JACK JONES: Don't forget about Koji!
King Koji has recovered and re-enters the ring, kicking Daniels hard in the spine. With Daniels stunned, Koji takes the upper-hand, spiking him to the canvas with a DDT! Jacob Venar is recovered and back to his feet. Koji notices this and connects with a few leg kicks. The hard blows turning Venar's calf a reddish purple. The Japanese man attempts a suplex but Venar is able to block. Falcon with a whip into the corner. He runs at Koji and executes the rocker dropper going for the quick cover.
ONE!
TWO!
Daniels breaks it up with a knee to Venar's spine. He grabs Venar and snapmares him to the mat. Daniels with a seated dropkick to the spine of the downed Venar. He lashes out connecting with another boot to the back that causes Venar to flinch from the pain. Koji rushes at Trent who responds by nailing Koji with an elbow to the chops. With Koji stunned Daniels whips him off the ropes spinning around and sending him to the floor with a discus elbow!
BILL HEWSON: This action is fast and furious.
JACK JONES: Koji takes another trip to the floor, he might as well have bought front-row seats!
Daniels sets his sights back on Venar, who is slowly back to his feet. Daniels grounds Venar again with a side Russian leg sweep, then floats over for a quick pin! One.. two.. Koji drags Daniels off of Venar and tosses him out of the ring. He turns to Venar, who is to his feet, and goes for a Yakuza kick... Venar ducks, and catches Koji with a dropkick to the knee! Koji staggers, and Venar goes for a swinging neck breaker... Koji tosses Venar to the turnbuckles! Venar crashes, lands on his back. Koji drops a huge elbow, and goes for a cover! One.. two.. Venar gets a shoulder up! Koji drags Venar to his feet, props him up against the turnbuckles, then hits the ropes, and comes back with his Yakuza kick!
WHAMMO!
Venar's head snaps back, then he falls forward, and Koji catches him in a fireman's carry! He looks like he's going for a Death Valley Driver, but Daniels is back in time to break up any match ending move! A boot to the gut forces Koji to drop Venar, and Koji gets rocked by a series of stiff kicks to the calf leg and thigh, before being driven to the mat with a bulldog! Venar clotheslines Daniels out of the ring and then covers Koji! One.. two... Daniels back in time to break up the count! He gives Venar a shove, wondering what he's trying to do. Venar goes nose to nose with Daniels, as the fans wonder if they're really going to bust out against each other. Koji ends all doubts by hitting Daniels with a backdrop driver! Daniels planted in the mat! Koji goes for a cover, but Venar breaks that up before anything can happen! Daniels rolls out of the ring as Koji lands a series of stiff shots to the chest of Venar!
BILL HEWSON: Koji showing off his lethal strikes here! Venar will want to be careful.
JACK JONES: If he was careful he never would have gotten in the ring with him.
Venar tries to fight back with chops of his own, but Koji is too fierce, and Venar winds up knocked to the mat with a hard forearm smash. Daniels is back to his feet, and he tries to climb in the ring. Normally this would get a good fan reaction, but there are a lot of boos raining down right now...
BILL HEWSON: D! IS HERE! WHAT THE HELL?!
JACK JONES: Payback's a bitch, son!
Indeed, the one letter superstar hauls Daniels off the apron and lays in with rights and lefts, yelling about being "humiliated!"
D!: YOU THINK YOU'RE FUNNY, PEANUT?
Daniels whipped into the guard rail, right on his injured ribs. A clothesline takes him over the rail and into the crowd, and D! is right behind. In the ring, Koji has Venar in the corner, and launches a machine gun series of chops, (even leaving a handprint!) Venar is gasping for breath, and Koji locks in the Koji Klutch! Venar struggles to break the hold, but the big Koji has a vise-like grip, and Venar just doesn't have the strength to bust out of it. he tries to get his feet on the ropes and push off, but Koji just hauls him back and bears down even harder on his smaller foe. Venar looks to be fading fast, Koji putting more of his weight into the move. He spreads his legs to get better footing, then leans into the hold, forcing Venar to carry his weight as he fights for breath. Venar to one knee as Smythe checks for signs of consciousness. She tries to see if he's being choked, but the hold is legal. Venar manages to get back to his feet, but he's almost sleep walking. Smythe raises his arm, and lets it drop. She turns and signals to the timekeeper that the arm did drop...
And Venar rears back and mule kicks Koji in the groin! Koji lets go of the hold as the fans are surprised by Venar's actions. Koji is doubled over in pain, allowing Venar to hit the rocker dropper!
JACK JONES: Venar showing some sound strategy and savvy technical wrestling tonight! There may be hope yet for this kid!
Koji is down, and Venar goes to the top rope! He's still catching his breath, but he knows he needs to hit this if he wants to win the match!
SPREAD MY WINGS!!
Venar crashes in Koji, and he hooks the leg for a cover!
ONE!!
TWO!!
THREE!!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner, and number one contender for the Heritage Title: "The Falcon" Jacob Venar!
Venar celebrates, but the fans aren't really giving him the attention he thinks he should be getting. They're drawn towards the foyer, specifically the merchandise table, where D! is pounding on Daniels! D! whips Daniels...
DANIELS REVERSES! D! careens off the merch table and on to the other side! T-Shirts and DVD's fly everywhere! Daniels in pursuit, D! grabs a "Best of The Beast" DVD and tosses it at Daniels, who ducks, and charges at D! taking them both through the front door and onto 4th Avenue! D! has had enough of this, he's trying to get away, but Daniels has had enough.
Enough of people going for his injured ribs!
Enough of being attacked during his matches!
ENOUGH---
OF---
D!!
He grabs D! and slams his head into the side of the building! And now he grabs the "LIVE WRESTLING TONIGHT" sign and BASHES it over D!'s head! D! is down and out, flat on the concrete sidewalk! Security is surrounding Daniels, who has a look of supreme satisfaction on his face. Even if he isn't going to fight for the Heritage Title...
JACK JONES: In retrospect, it was the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
BILL HEWSON: Fascinating.
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the MAIN EVENT of the evening!
The crowd buzzes, and then The Black Keys play through the PA. "When The Lights Go Out" is slow, troubling, moody, dark. And to the black roots comes out one man, beard growing shaggy, hair wild, and the REBEL Pro World Heavyweight Title strapped around his waist. The crowd rises in ovation for "LDK" Lloyd Reees!
BILL HEWSON: One of the biggest matches in NAPW's history, Jack Attack, and without a doubt the biggest single match in the career of "LDK" Lloyd Rees! All the gold, all the titles he's held, nothing is as singularly important as the match coming up right now for him!
JACK JONES: Well he is the REBEL Pro World Heavyweight Champion, and tonight he can do something nobody else has done, and that's hold both promotion's top belts at the same time. The only problem is, he has to beat one of the greatest in our SPORT, and I'm talking about "The Ego Buster" himself, Dan Ryan.
BILL HEWSON: He has earned his nickname, Dan Ryan has, by destroying the aspirations and dreams of many a wrestler.
Rees slowly enters the ring. He looks focused, ready, but in his eyes there is a fire. He hasn't forgotten being put through a table last week! He takes a corner as his music fades.
Cue Smashing Pumpkins and a very familiar riff.
"SHEEEEEEEE'S THE ONNNNNNNNE FOR MEEEEEEEEE
SHE'S ALL I REALLY NEED!
SHEEEEEEEEEE'S THE ONNNNNNNNE FOR MEEEEEEEE
SHE'S MY ONE AND --- AND ONLY"
"Zero" plays and a hulking, intimidating figure steps through the curtain. He's stacked like a brick house, wearing the basic black trunks, but what is most important is the shiny gold belt around DAN RYAN's waist. His blond hair is close cropped
JACK JONES: And what Dan Ryan does, and does well, and does often, is WIN. Win titles. He didn't come to NAPW for "fun," he came here because he heard the competition was top-notch, he came here to challenge himself. Dan Ryan has nothing left to prove in the wrestling business, he's done it all, but his pride will not let him stop being the very best.
BILL HEWSON: "LDK" Lloyd Rees got to this match by winning the thirty-man Sole Survivor contest. There is no denying that facing Dan Ryan here tonight is perhaps more challenging then even that contest. Rees has not forgotten what Dan Ryan did to him last week, putting him through a table at their contract signing! It's all about that title belt around Dan Ryan's waist, the NAPW World Title!
Ryan is in his corner, looking over at Rees. He is, as always, confident. Don't be fooled into thinking that Dan Ryan is cocky, however, or underestimating his opponent. You don't get to be the best by looking past your opponents. Frank Warburton has the mic.
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall at a SIXTY-MINUTE time limit, and is for the NAPW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP! The referee in charge at the bell will be senior official Dick Kiebiech. Now, introducing first to my left, wearing black trunks with red. He weighed in this morning at two-hundred and forty-seven pounds, and stands six-feet, one inch tall. He is a former NAPW Provincial, Tag, TV and World Champion and is the CURRENT REBEL Pro World Heavyweight Champion. Ladies and gentlemen, fighting out of Wabana, Bell Island, Newfoundland... the challenger tonight, THIS IS "LDK" LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOYYYYYYYYYYD REEEEEEEEEEES!
The crowd pops for Rees. He undoes the REBEL title belt and hands it to the referee. The belt is not on the line, but Rees takes pride in being the REBEL Pro champion.
FRANK WARBURTON: Now, introducing to my right, wearing black. He weighed in this morning at THREE-HUNDRED and THIRTY-FIVE POUNDS and stands six-feet, seven inches tall. He is one of the most decorated wrestling champions of the past decade, competing worldwide. He comes here, to New Alberta Pro Wrestling, as a legend, and here to Vancouver tonight as the reigning, and DEFENDING NAPW WORLD CHAMPION! Fighting out of Houston in the great state of Texas, ladies and gentlemen, THIS IS "THE EGO BUSTER" DAAAAAAAAAAANNNNN RRRRRRRRYANNNNNNNNNN!
The crowd gives a strong reaction for Dan Ryan as well, though the emotional connection is clearly to "LDK" Lloyd Rees. But Ryan's presence is simply undeniable.
BILL HEWSON: Dick Kiebiech showing these fans what it's all about, the NAPW World Title... and this match is on! We have a stare-down in the middle of the ring, two men nose to nose.
JACK JONES: Dan Ryan is a beast, Hewson, apologies to Bruce Richards. How is Rees ever going to use his technical skills on somebody that big and strong?
BILL HEWSON: Rees will have to find a way to win, but only one man in NAPW has pinned Dan Ryan, and that is "The Show" Chad Kurtis. Rees doesn't have the CK Finale in his arsenal... but you know he has a game plan.
Ryan stares down at Rees, almost smirking, but he takes this deadly serious. Rees can't contain himself, it's the Newfie in, he starts running his mouth. "Dis big enough' for ya, b'ye? Dis what ya wanted puttin' me through a dame table last week?" "You're still sore about that?" "DAME RIGHTS I AM!" REES PUNCHES RYAN! RIGHT HANDS BY THE NEWFIE, Ryan rocked backwards, not off his feet, he's taking the blows as Rees forces him back to the ropes! Rees with a CHOP across the defined pectorals of Ryan to the WHOOOS of the crowd. Rees grabs Ryan's wrist, irish whip ---
Nope. Rees grabs Ryan's wrist, irish whip.
Nope again, Ryan simply plants his weight and refuses to move. Rees lashes him with another chop, but Ryan just absorbs the blow WHAM. And knocks Rees down a single haymaker punch!
JACK JONES: One punch, one punch! Rees, you stupid newfie, you can't outFIGHT Dan Ryan!
BILL HEWSON: Rees is usually so focused, but he's been obsessed all week with what he perceives as Dan Ryan's lack of respect for him after being put through a table last week. You're absolutely right Jones, he has to keep that Newfie temper in check, he can't outpunch Dan Ryan!
Rees gets up, staggered, and Ryan hits him again. Rees gets back up, and this time Rees hauls him up on his shoulders, big scoop slam puts Rees down to the canvas, blinking. Ryan looks out to the fans, he's content to take his time. Rees starts to crawl up, Ryan grabs him by the head. Short-arm clothesline nearly takes Rees' head off! Ryan makes a cover, gets a two count. He gets up, controlling Rees by the arm. Brings down the hammer right across the right shoulder of Rees. Still holds the wristlock, Ryan climbs to the 2nd turnbuckle... and leaps down with a big axhandle smash across Rees torqued shoulder! Another blow, then Ryan whips Rees into the turnbuckle hard! CHARGE, REES MOVES! REES FIRING AWAY ON DAN RYAN WITH RIGHT HANDS, CLIMBS UP ONE, TWO, THREE --- Ryan walks out and delivers an inverted atomic drop, then hits the ropes and LARIATS the hell out of Rees! Cover TWO.
BILL HEWSON: I don't believe it, but Dan Ryan, last week, everything he said in promos this week, he's gotten into Lloyd Rees' head! Rees got this far by transforming himself into THE TECHNICAL TERROR, but everytime he gets a chance at offense in this contest he's trying to FIGHT Dan Ryan!
JACK JONES: Dan Ryan said it last week, this isn't some pretty technical wrestling match, it's about beating up the other man so badly they can't stand up, let alone kick out. Dan Ryan didn't even try to play mind games with Rees, but he forgot that it doesn't take much to confuse a small brain like Rees'.
BILL HEWSON: Will you stop?
JACK JONES: NEVER!
Dan Ryan has Rees up. "You want to chop, huh? Here's how they taught me in Japan." Ryan "shhhhhhs" the crowd...
THWACK
BILL HEWSON: OH GOOD LORD! Did you --- did you HEAR that sickening chop?!
JACK JONES: I think they heard it in Edmonton!
The crowd yells in sympathy pain, but nobody as much as Rees, his eyes wide, gasping, holding his chest on his knees. That was a sickening, sickening chop. Ryan roughly hauls Rees up, tilts his chin up, and then...
THWACK
Rees collapses like he's been shot. Dan Ryan looks out at the crowd with a roar. The crowd respects him, awed by the actions of the World Champ so far.
BILL HEWSON: We were promising an epic, but I apologize fans, this match might be over any minute. Dan Ryan is simply imposing his WILL on Lloyd Rees.
JACK JONES: Well, I think I'm going to leave now, beat the crowd.
BILL HEWSON: You sit your ass back down!
Rees pulls himself up yet again, he won't die. He fires a right hand at Dan Ryan, but it doesn't have a lot of mustard behind it. Ryan lifts a knee into Rees' gut to cut him off. He hooks the man and suplexes him up... makes him think about it... back down. Made it look easy. Float over into a cover, one, two, Rees kicks out. He's not done yet, though it may just be a matter of time. Ryan picks up Rees again, shoots him to the ropes --- belly-to-belly suplex! Rees somehow gets up, and Ryan grabs him for another belly-to-belly, flattening the challenger to the canvas. Ryan gets up, then signals that "IT'S OVER." He picks a sagging Rees up and preps him for the Humility Bomb!
BILL HEWSON: If this hits, it's all over --- but Rees is fighting! He's gone dead weight on Ryan... but Ryan with so much strength, he lifts Rees up anyways, REES with a sunset flip! Can he get Ryan over? The champion isn't going down OH!
JACK JONES: What the?
BILL HEWSON: Ryan tried to punch Rees' face into the canvas, but Rees skidded out! Wait a minute! Kick to the back of Dan Ryan's knee! Another one! Rees with another kick, off the ropes, CHOP BLOCK! Ryan is still standing, but Rees stringing some offense together!
Rees with another chopblock, Dan Ryan holding his knee in pain, but still on his feet. Rees hits the ropes, comes off --- WHAMMO. Ryan catches him with a SPINEBUSTER. He covers!
ONE!
TWO!
TH---KICK-OUT!
Rees barely survived that, Ryan shakes his knee loose. He picks up Rees --- REES HAS THE ARM! WHAT THE? REES WITH A CROSS ARM-BREAKER! Ryan is ON HIS FEET, Rees on his back, but he's got the arm! Ryan grunting with surprise, Rees shoulders are on the canvas! ONE! TWO! He rolls the shoulder up, refuses to let go of the arm! Dan Ryan marshalls all his power and LIFTS Rees up into the air... then drives the man down back-first to the canvas.
But Rees will not let go, despite the impact! And Ryan brought his own body down to the canvas to do that modified powerbomb! He's trying to get up, but Rees kicks him in the face and keeps him down, then at last fully cinches in the hold! He could snap Dan Ryan's arm, the champion expressing his pain, but then he's able to get a foot in the ropes.
BILL HEWSON: Rees doing some damage, but boy, it's hard to work on such a big man. Ryan's reach advantage helped him out there.
JACK JONES: He's not just the best, he's the biggest AND the best!
Rees forced to break. Ryan cradles his arm, gritting his teeth, as he gets up by the ropes.
One problem.
The lights have come on in the eyes of "LDK" Lloyd Rees.
Before Ryan can react, Rees chopblocks his knee again. Ryan stays up, but Rees quickly circles around behind, hits another, this one sweeping Ryan off both feet! Dan tumbles, but holds the top rope to stay sort of upright. Rees comes in, kicking the knee, then sends Ryan off at a whip. Reversed by Dan Ryan, reversed by Rees! Ryan stumbles off the ropes, but swings with a clothesline...
ROLLING HALF-CRAB! SHADES OF LANCE STORM!
Rees has it on in the center of the ring!
BILL HEWSON: And Rees bending that injured leg ways it is not meant to go!
JACK JONES: You don't actually think Dan Ryan is going to submit, do you?
BILL HEWSON: Why wouldn't he? Pride be damned, a man has to think of his career! Lloyd Rees could end a man!
Ryan reaches out, but Rees has it cinched right in the middle! The crowd is getting into this, chanting "TAP! TAP! TAP!" Ryan reaches out, the ropes are a foot away. It might as well be a mile.
But this isn't Ryan's first rodeo. His one arm is a little damaged, but he's still got TONS of upper body strength. He does a push-up despite Rees having his one leg bent like so much licorice... and is able to roll forward, throwing Rees off. Ryan grabs the ropes and gets up, limping, but Rees grabs him by the boot! Trying to pull Ryan off the ropes, he's got him on one leg --- Ryan spins around LARIAT! But no cover, Ryan's knee hurting him. He's wrestled through pain many times in his career, but it never gets any easier. He stands up, limping, and tosses Rees into the corner. Ryan plants his weight on his good leg and delivers shoulder-thrust after shoulder-thrust into Rees' mid-section, crushing all the air out of the challenger. Dropping irish whip and WHAM. Good Lord! Rees hits the opposite turnbuckle so hard he crashes to the canvas. Ryan gets to his feet, waiting for Rees, waiting for Rees...
BILL HEWSON: SUPERKIIIIIICK!
JACK JONES: It's OVER!
Ryan hits the superkick with his good leg, but collapses down with his bad leg being the plant! Rees took it right on the jaw nonetheless, Ryan took the pain to hit the move. Ryan not quite able to capitalize immediately, but he doesn't take too long to reach over and hook the leg! Rees ain't moving!
ONE!
TWO!
THR---
SHOULDER UP!
Ryan looks at the ref, his expression saying "You sure?" Kiebiech again holds up two fingers. Ryan doesn't let it get to him. He picks Rees up and starts driving forearm shots into the man's back, then a rear waistlock leads to a textbook release German Suplex! Rees crashes onto his neck and shoulders like so much mishandled luggage. But Rees turns over and slowly starts crawling to the ropes, taking away a pin attempt for Ryan. Is Rees punch-drunk?
The champion limps to Rees, "helping" him up. A big right hand follows, and then Ryan picks up Rees and perches him on the top rope.
BILL HEWSON: Dangerous territory here, what is --- oh my God, no! Dan Ryan trying to hit a german suplex FROM THE TOP ROPE on Lloyd Rees!
JACK JONES: That wouldn't just end the match, it might end Rees' career!
BILL HEWSON: I don't know if "LDK" is fully cogizant after that first German, but he's gripping the top rope like his life depended on it, and it does! Ryan trying to just out muscle Rees off, Rees with a headbutt to Ryan's face!
Rees throws his head back again, nailing Ryan in the nose. Ryan ends up back on the canvas, and Rees leaps over him, grabbing him on the way down... FOR A DDT FROM THE GREEN! NAILED! REES COVERS!
ONE
TWO
KICK-OUT!
BILL HEWSON: The DDT From The Green, but it only gets two! And now what is REES doing? Lloyd sets Ryan up on the top rope, great show of strength, what is he doing? Are you kidding me? A SUPERPLEX on Dan Ryan from the top rope?
JACK JONES: Can he even lift the guy at this point?
BILL HEWSON: It could be the WABANA BUSTER, and that could end it! Rees has Ryan hooked SUPERPLEX! RYAN TURNS IT IN MID-AIR AND LANDS ON REES! OH MY GOD!
JACK JONES: One squashed Lemondrop, clean-up on aisle one!
But Ryan took a lot of impact too, all three-hundred and thirty-five pounds with only Rees to break him. He's down. Rees is clearly down after that. Referee Dick Kiebiech begins his ten count. One. Two. Three. Neither man is stirring. Four. Five. Six... WAIT. Dan Ryan rolls over! HE COVERS REES!
ONE!
TWO!
THREEEEEEEEEE
Rees gets his foot on the bottom rope in the nick of time, and we do mean the NICK. And that is the only reason this match continues.
BILL HEWSON: This match continues!
JACK JONES: I can't believe he did that!
BILL HEWSON: But that may have been all Rees had left!
Indeed it might, as Dan Ryan starts punching Rees on the canvas, ignoring Dick Kiebiech's warnings. It's time. He picks Rees up - Rees starts firing shots into Dan Ryan's mid-section! Off the ropes, Ryan tries a clothesline, Rees ducks, and dropkicks the bad knee of Dan Ryan! The champion stumbles, Rees kicks it again, again, and then tries to tie Dan Ryan up in the LANCE COVE LEG-LOCK! But Ryan uses his good leg to kick Rees off with great strength! Rees comes back at Ryan, Ryan grabs his arm though! FULL-NELSON --- DRAGON SUPLEX! Rees folded up like an accordion! Ryan gets up, this is it! HUMILITY BOMB!
Except one thing.
That's a lot of weight above a bad wheel.
Ryan's leg gives way and Rees lands on top of him! KIEBIECH COUNTS!
ONE!
TWO!
THRYAN GETS OUT!
JACK JONES: I can't believe it!
BILL HEWSON: We all know that the Humility Bomb would end this, but Rees, maybe he did have a plan! Everytime Ryan has picked Rees up, the superkick, Ryan's offense demands his strong legs to support his upper body!
JACK JONES: What, you think Dan Ryan can't win without the Humility Bomb? He didn't get this far by going down when every smaller guy tried to take out his legs! Rees is prolonging the inevitable!
Ryan is trying to get up, but Rees darts out to the ring apron. Ryan tries to get up, REES BACK IN! FRESH WATER FLIP! His one high-flying move, and a dandy it was, knocking Ryan back down. Then, just like that, Rees grabs the legs of Dan Ryan, knits his hands through them... can he turn Dan Ryan over? Ryan is fighting, but Rees forces the weight over Ryan due to the pain on his bad knee! HE TURNS HIM!
LANCE COVE LEGLOCK APPLIED! THE CLOVERLEAF!
Ryan is in the center of the ring, his knee must be BURNING with pain! But he won't give up, he won't quit! He is the NAPW World Champion, one of the best ever! Ryan reaches out to the ropes... he can't push up this time, Rees is just WRENCHING on that knee, it's too much, too awkward.
But he can crawl.
Dan Ryan focuses his eyes on the bottom rope and begins to crawl, inexorably, relentlessly towards the ropes.
The crowd is on their feet! WILL DAN RYAN TAP? WILL REES MAKE HIM SUBMIT?
Ryan crawls.
Rees wrenches.
The crowd roars.
And Dan Ryan grabs the bottom rope.
BILL HEWSON: Lloyd Rees must break the hold, this match has taken it's toll on both men... hell, it's exhausting just to watch!
JACK JONES: No matter what Rees does, he can't put Dan Ryan away! There's no stopping The Ego Buster!
BILL HEWSON: Ryan getting to his feet, there's no way to tell how much damage has been done to the leg... Ryan comes in with a double ax-handle WAIT! REES TAKES HIS LEGS OUT! And --- THE LANCE COVE LEGLOCK APPLIED AGAIN! CENTER OF THE RING! HOW MUCH PAIN CAN DAN RYAN TAKE?
JACK JONES: MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE!
BILL HEWSON: But he's not invincible, he CAN BE HURT!
Rees WRENCHES back, eyes wide, yelling "TAP! TAAAAP! TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!" The crowd is roaring, rowdy, relentless, WHAT WILL HAPPEN? Dan Ryan roars in pain, but reaches out! Again fixes his gaze on the bottom rope!
Reaches out!
And taps the canvas three times!
BILL HEWSON: DAN RYAN TAPS OUT! DAN RYAN TAPS OUT! "LDK" LLOYD REES IS THE NEW WORLD CHAMPION, REES HAS DONE IT! REES HAS MADE *HISTORY*!
Kiebiech tells Rees it's over, it's over --- finished! Rees disengages the hold and collapses forward. Ryan pulls himself to the ropes, reaches down to his knee, face a mask of pain.
Finally, Frank.
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner by submission... and NEEEEEEEEEW NAPW WORLD CHAMPION! "LDK" LLLLLLLOYD REEEEEEEEEEES!
BILL HEWSON: REES HAS DONE IT! REES IS THE WORLD CHAMPION OF NAPW... THE WORLD CHAMPION OF REBEL PRO! THE TECHNICAL TERROR HAS SLAYED THE DRAGON!
JACK JONES: Unbelievable, Hewson. Just unbelievable.
Dan Ryan gets up, and takes the NAPW World Title belt from Dick Kiebiech. Limping, he comes to center ring to meet Lloyd Rees. The two men are exhausted, covered in sweat, the price they paid to be the best, to be the main event. Ryan looks at Rees, the crowd wondering what he will do... and Ryan holds the title belt out. Rees takes it, and the two men exchange a handshake. Ryan exits the ring and limps up the aisle way, the fans giving him an ovation for the show of class and a great match.
Then Dick Kiebiech hands Rees the REBEL Pro World Heavyweight Title belt, and Rees hits the turnbuckle, holding both title belts high in the air...
BILL HEWSON: It truly has been a FRACAS ON 4TH AVE! What an event we have seen... LLOYD REES has done it! The new NAPW Champion! For Jack "Attack" Jones, this is Bill Hewson saying GOOD NIGHT!
Fade out on a celebrating Rees!
CREDITS:
KKP/STD - Sweetser
MyEx/NoI - Ben
D!/Modo - Ben again!
Darko & KBOND vs Rav & Dez - Jago/Bo
Mixed Tag - Ryan
Heritage - JP
Tag Titles - Allan
Triple-Threat - Jesse/Allan
Main Event - Ryan